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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend always comments negatively about my DD's name on baby name board

155 replies

JoanGalt · 22/10/2015 07:47

One of my close friends is on Mumsnet and I know her username. She doesn't know I know it and I don't look at her threads or search for her or anything.

I was looking at the baby name board and saw a thread about my DD's name so I had a quick look. I saw that my friend had commented, saying how she really didn't like the name. That's fair enough of course but I then did a search for other threads containing that name and she had commented on every single one saying how she hates the name. It's a classic but unusual name like Octavia. She hasn't commented on any other threads unless my name is mentioned and then she says how boring she thinks it is (another unusual name).

I think this is a bit odd really. AIBU?

OP posts:
duckyneedsaclean · 22/10/2015 07:50

It is a bit odd tbh.

mintbiscuit · 22/10/2015 07:51

How do you know she doesn't know your username...?

Snozberry · 22/10/2015 07:51

Yes that's weird. How did you figure out it's her if that's the only place she posts?

neolara · 22/10/2015 07:53

I appreciate this is upsetting for you but she is allowed an opinion and the forum is meant to be anonymous. It's not like every time she sees you she comments on how much she hates your dd's name. Now that would be weird.

Original poster
JoanGalt · 22/10/2015 08:00

I don't know if she knows my username or not but I do name change fairly regularly.

It's not the only place she posts. I saw a comment she made a few years ago in chat and I knew it was her. I meant that I've never gone out of my way to find her on here.

I know she's entitled to her opinion and that's fine but I find it weird that she comments only about DD's name and mine. Are they the only two names in the world she doesn't like and enough to always make a point of it?

OP posts:
RainbowFlutterby · 22/10/2015 08:05

May be she genuinely doesn't like them and the only place she can say it is on a supposedly anonymous forum.

There are some things I don't like that I could never admit to in real life.

catfordbetty · 22/10/2015 08:06

Listeners seldom hear good of themselves.

GruntledOne · 22/10/2015 08:08

But OP is right, it's reasonable to comment adversely on the names once or twice, but it seems a bit mad to do so several times - especially if she doesn't feel the need to tell the world about any other names she dislikes.

wafflyversatile · 22/10/2015 08:10

She can't say it openly because that would be rude but because she can't be honest it builds up a head of steam which she let's off here?

Verypissedoffwife · 22/10/2015 08:14

I think that's really weird to be honest. I've known people choose names that I'm not particularly keen on but usually once you start associating the name with someone you care about, the name grows on you. Unless of course you hate that person and everything about them grates on you. If she's really only ever commenting on who much she dislikes yours and your daughters names then I don't think she's really your friend.

Original poster
JoanGalt · 22/10/2015 08:14

In that case she must really hate the name in order to need to mention it so many times. I guess I've never felt that strongly about a name.

Also, I found her comments by coincidence, I didn't search for her.

OP posts:
ZoeTurtle · 22/10/2015 08:15

I think wafflyversatile has got it. The name probably irritates her every time you say it so she bites her tongue and comes here to let off steam. Which is a bit of an extreme reaction to a name but whatever, we all have our little bug bears.

MidnightRed · 22/10/2015 08:15

Not seeing the problem to be honest.

Axekick · 22/10/2015 08:23

Yabu. She may only use that name when posting in baby names and be a regular name changer. She doesn't like the name. When she she's a thread mentioning it she gives her opinion.

Tbh she doesn't like the name but hasn't said that to you. Doesn't everyone do that. Have an opinion they keep to themselves, because it would upset a friend?

It's no more strange than you advance searching her. I have come across a poster who I am 100% sure is my sil. She doesn't know, but I also think if she wanted to tell me something she would tell me. I think searching her to find out what she says is a bit nosey.

patienceisvirtuous · 22/10/2015 08:24

I think you did sniff her out Wink

Axekick · 22/10/2015 08:24

You did search for her as you said she doesn't comment on other threads.

bumbleymummy · 22/10/2015 08:25

I would find that a bit strange and upsetting too.

Original poster
JoanGalt · 22/10/2015 08:26

I haven't searched for her! I have said that a few times now.

I came across the original comment by coincidence. Then I searched for threads containing my daughter's name because it was interesting to see what people thought.

It was then that I saw she had posted under each thread for the last 3 years.

I have never searched for her despite knowing at least one of her names for a few years. I wouldn't do that Confused

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 22/10/2015 08:27

I advance search lots of people. I don't see the problem with that.

Original poster
JoanGalt · 22/10/2015 08:29

When I said she hasn't commented on any other threads I mean none that I've seen when I've looked on the baby names board. She might of course comment on others but I haven't noticed before.

I like that board as I am a writer in my spare time.

OP posts:
Original poster
JoanGalt · 22/10/2015 08:30

Well I might search her now if I think she secretly hates me Confused

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/10/2015 08:30

I don't see anything wrong with it to be honest.

Lweji · 22/10/2015 08:34

From what you say, your "research" has a flaw. It's biased because you searched for threads with your dd's name and with your name on.
Did you do a generic name search? She could be posting about other names too.

But it's possible that your names are more present in her life and she really doesn't like them, so they call her attention in threads and she posts.
Hopefully she likes you. :)

MrsFrankRicard · 22/10/2015 08:35

That is strange, but if you haven't advance searched her then how do you know she isn't commenting on baby name threads about other names she dislikes? Maybe it's not just yours and DD's names that she hates. It doesn't sound like she actually is a good friend though, when some of my friends have announced name choices, I am a bit unsure, but they grow on me with time and I wouldn't say I Hate them, as they are the names of my friends lovely DCs.

Gottagetmoving · 22/10/2015 08:37

Well I might search her now if I think she secretly hates me

How did it go from her hating the name to hating you?

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