My friend always comments negatively about my DD's name on baby name board

[JoanGalt]

One of my close friends is on Mumsnet and I know her username. She doesn't know I know it and I don't look at her threads or search for her or anything.

I was looking at the baby name board and saw a thread about my DD's name so I had a quick look. I saw that my friend had commented, saying how she really didn't like the name. That's fair enough of course but I then did a search for other threads containing that name and she had commented on every single one saying how she hates the name. It's a classic but unusual name like Octavia. She hasn't commented on any other threads unless my name is mentioned and then she says how boring she thinks it is (another unusual name).

I think this is a bit odd really. AIBU?

^^ recommended reed? Really recovered would make much more sense Ms IPhone.

Huckleberry

For the last time I DIDN'T SEARCH HER OUT!!!!!!!!
It was a coincidence that I came across her in relation to my DD's name.

I then searched the baby name threads for a few minutes after I started this thread.

I think it's stranger to start this thread, knowing there is a good chance your friend will see it and possibly recognise it.

This is actually quite funny!

My friend and I have totally different tastes in names. I think hers are dull dull dull (think 4 in a class) I am sure she thinks mine are weird and in one case fussy. But we are far too polite to actually say anything. I politely say nothing when she complains that her dd has to use her middle name to differentiate her from all the others and she politely doesn't say anything when strangers exclaim about dds unusual name. A very boring world if we all had identikit friends with the same opinions!

Your friend hasn't wanted to hurt your feelings in rl but anonymously can be honest. If she only ever comments on those two names, no others, yes I can see you'd feel irked, though until now at least she hasn't started threads knocking these names.

Btw it is never, ever a good idea to admit to using Advanced Search on MN.

I'm sure you didn't seek her out Joan. I knew one of my oldest, closest friends was on Mumsnet. I started looking at threads years later because I was pregnant - I wasn't thinking about her, but I found her almost immediately. She was talking about something that had happened to her - it was obvious. And I sent her a text saying "hello " - just to let her know I was aware of who she was - it's good form. She didn't name change - but she knew she wasn't anonymous to me on here any more if you see what I mean.

I can only assume she's jealous of you in some way. Even when friends have chosen really "out there" names - and I can only think of one example - I have positive feelings about that name because I have positive feelings about my friends. And in general, I feel a rush of affection when someone asks me how I feel about those names because I feel affection for the children.

It really doesn't matter whether she likes your names though does it?

She clearly likes the people behind those names, or she wouldn't still be friends with you.

If I think of each of my closest friends, they each have at least one DC with a name I would never choose. If any of those names came up on a baby names thread, I would probably comment that I didn't really like the name and, as I post way too much on MN, anyone searching me may be able to find multiple instances of me saying I don't like the name Octavia (to use your example). It doesn't mean I don't still love the owners of the names, just not the names.

Also, I would never tell anyone in RL that I don't like the names so an anonymous online board is the only chance I'd get.

Bambambini - serves her right if the friend does, tbh. This isn't a confessional - it's published in public. If you're going to use it to slag off your friends' children's names - and your friend's names - and your frend's family's names - you're running the risk of being found out

What would upset me if I was your friend is that you knew who she is on mn for ages (and said it on this thread, too).

Not that I worry somebody would find out what homework we are stuck with or which item of baby gear I wish I hadn't bought but some mn users are a lot less dull than I am.

Good grief, only on MN - some of these responses are quite laughable!

Yes, it is really weird that she comments in this way, I would distance myself from her ASAP.

Then again, I also take issue with lots of other name-related weirdness that is apparently perfectly ok in MN land (naming your DC the same as your best friend being a good example - fucking odd in any world other than MN!)

No, Manor, not only on MN. In RL people might feel the same but not always want confrontation if somebody says something they disagree with so a non-committal nod will be used. Here we can say it.

Who knew baby names could be so exciting

Err..this is MUMSNET

Has anyone worked out who the friend is yet?

longtalljosie 'jealous'?

Why 'jealous'? as I mentioned earlier I don't like my friend or her DD's names. But I have nothing to be jealous of them for? particularly having to live with those awful names

Meh.

I know a couple of lovely people with sons called Reuben.

I still really detest the name, though, and if someone asked what I thought of it on a thread I'd say so. It wouldn't have anything at all to do with my lovely friends.

Here we can say it.

You see, had the friend commented to this effect once or twice, and indeed on either OP's name or the DD's name, I'd probably agree with you, but she hasn't, she has commented many times on OP and her family's names and apparently no others.

This is unequivocally weird, and I would question the judgement of anybody who thinks otherwise tbh.

Serving I'd love to know who the friend is, too. Not enough to search the baby names board though. I get too het up on there.

I don't care because I really don't think she would care either. I have known her for 20 years and we've had far worse disagreements than this.

I found it odd, I started a thread.

Some of the responses are bizarre and don't really have anything to do with what I've actually said. Hey ho.

I would find this weird and a bit disturbing too, OP - I think motherofallhangovers has made a lot of valid points about her possible feelings and motivation. One comforting thing (as far as you are concerned!) is that she also posts her dislike of the names of another friend's children so this is "general" behaviour, more about her, and not aimed exclusively at you.

At first I thought she was being odd, now I think you're being odd. Why would you message her? Surely she's just going to advance search you and find this post? Where you've allowed people to publicly slag her off for disliking a name..

Commenting against a name on Mumsnet baby names doesn't always mean you absolutely hate the name in a stabby way. Just that people are asking opinions and you're telling them you are not keen on it, wouldn't use it yourself.

You hang around on that board, then you might always comment every time the name comes up. Different if the friend is starting threads to campaign hate for it or searches the name just to comment on it. Which does the OP think is more likely, it's her friend.