My friend always comments negatively about my DD's name on baby name board

[JoanGalt]

One of my close friends is on Mumsnet and I know her username. She doesn't know I know it and I don't look at her threads or search for her or anything.

I was looking at the baby name board and saw a thread about my DD's name so I had a quick look. I saw that my friend had commented, saying how she really didn't like the name. That's fair enough of course but I then did a search for other threads containing that name and she had commented on every single one saying how she hates the name. It's a classic but unusual name like Octavia. She hasn't commented on any other threads unless my name is mentioned and then she says how boring she thinks it is (another unusual name).

I think this is a bit odd really. AIBU?

Whilst I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion on names, I generally find that even if it is a name you wouldn't have chosen yourself, as you get to know a person the name grows on you.

I would also find it very weird that she has commented so negatively and consistently on both your names over the last 3 years. Is she really a good friend to you, because I would tend to agree that this suggests she secretly views you & DD with contempt.

Personally I would do an advance search, if even just on the baby names section.

I don't care if she recognises herself.

I have just done an advanced search on baby name threads and it turns out she doesn't like my name, either of my daughter's names and the names of the DC of another friend of hers. Names she does like are hers, her DC's and her sister's names. She doesn't seem to comment much on other names but I didn't look for long. Advanced searching is time consuming

Oh well, at least we're in it as a family

Just out of curiosity, how many threads are there about those names?
If a small number, it's possible that she just came across them. If a large number, then it would be odd to post in all.

Chances are she doesn't like any names bar hers and of those related to her.

I'd find that a bit weird too. I kind of understand if you have to hear a name a lot, one that you don't really like anyway, it can get really annoying (I don't suppose you pronounce it in an odd way? Like dramatically over-stressing a syllable, or adopting an OTT foreign accent? I'm sure you don't but I can imagine getting extremely irritated by that), but to specifically seek out threads on that name is definitely strange.

well there is only thing you can draw from this

she HATES your DDs name, a lot!

and your families names too! its weird , yanbu

Windy might have a point? Do you insist on the whole name and not like it shortened?

Just a thought

She sounds pretty obsessed about the names if she keeps going on about hating them every chance she gets on here, that in itself is a bit weird. Saying so once or twice, but loads? Not normal.
It's childish but I'd be tempted to comment every time she does it saying 'you know what name is really yuck? insert her name here definitely don't use that one. It smacks of two faced psychos'

i think she is baiting you to see if you are reading / following her on MN being controversial is a way of getting you to challenge her in RL so she knows you are looking at her posts on MN

Maybe she has a strange competitive streak about names. Maybe hers need to be the "best" and she achieves that by looking down on the names of others?

Or maybe that extends to other areas of her life, maybe she likes to think privately that she's made better choices than others, to validate herself IYSWIM? If so then it's probably borne of insecurity, and something she was silly to post publicly as those kinds of negative thoughts are more to do with a difficulty in coping with the world than any hatred of you IYSWIM.

That's just an amateur-psycology stab at working out the thinking behind it though!

It could also be that she feels resentful of you for some reason, imagined or otherwise.

Is she generally competitive or quite insecure?

I do only use her full name but I don't insist on it being said a certain way or not being shortened by others. No one does though.

The other thing I've noticed is that she comments that the shortened version is horrible and the child will be called that.

There are quite a few threads as it's a popular MN name but not in rl.

I'm guessing she thinks I'm a pretentious twat

i think you are reading too much in to it. I really hate the name of the dd of a really good friend on mine - I hate the long name and loathe the shortened name. I've never told my friend . I don't like the name of her second child either (but not as much) - if there were threads about them I would have to comment and I rarely comment on baby names - unless they are about names I have strong feelings about.
BUT I really love the actual children - especially the eldest - but even after 13 years I still can't get over the name choice.

Child is Beatrix for example....she dislikes it because she doesn't like Bea or Trix....

When you have friends with DC with these names you just notice it more.

You know she dislikes the 'shortened version' so it's surely no great shock.

I'd find it quite funny.

To be honest I hate pretentious names and think they can be a hindrance sometimes. Your friend may feel the same. I honestly don't see the problem. Do we all only comment on names that are random to us? That literally no one we know has? It's an anonymous forum, she wasn't to know that you would recognise her post. Most of us say things on here that we might not in real life.

PA route? Start a thread on baby names saying your husband really likes Friendsname for a girl, but you don't and what do people think? You will get plenty of people piling in telling you Friendsname is a bit pretentious/ boring/ naff/ Pornstar/ just really ugly sounding .

Even if she does think the child's name is pretentious or whatever, op has said she also makes a point of dissing the ops name.

I still think she's envious of you, and quite bitter to be keeping it up for years.

Just curious... Are her DDs names mainstream? Or youneek?
Or granny chic? Or what?

I agree with you OP, it is a bit odd & slightly off. She may not like the names but continually commenting negatively about them for so long is strange.

I don't think my DD's names are pretentious at all but very classic, if underused.

Her DC's names are 'granny chic' I guess, like Arthur and Mabel.

I've just sent her a PM to say I've recognised her from a thread so she might want to name change. I don't want to stumble across something like this again.

YABU. My dearest and oldest friend has a lovely son. I love her and her baby is such a good natured boy. I love being with her and her son, I never knew a small child could bring such joy. However, I really hate his name. It's not that unusual but something about it just doesn't 'do it' for me. It has no reflection on how I feel about my friend and her child. I have an internal 'eurgh' when she says it but it's none of my bloody business!

You messaged her?!! She's going to think you are mad.

Whoa you messaged her? That makes you look really bad. Like you are the one thinking about this too much.

I think you are unessessarily offended. Does it matter if she dislikes your kids names!?

Wow, I hope she takes it in good humour.

itching to know OP's friend's mn username to have a nosey