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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is rude for guests to dictate what we will eat for Christmas

243 replies

shebird · 19/10/2015 16:40

I just had an email from someone who will be coming to us for Christams asking what I was planning on cooking for Christmas lunch. Then going on to suggest several options of things she would like to have.

This is not for dietary reasons but just purely so that they can have exactly what they would like on the day. This person as never cooked Christmas lunch before and has no idea of the cost and the work involved.

Aibu to give her the number of some local restaurants that are open Christmas Day if she wants to dictate what she would like for lunch?

OP posts:
ClashCityRocker · 19/10/2015 21:24

Well, yorkies are yorkies.

'Yorkshire puddings' then. Hmmph.

I'm still not going to get any on Christmas Day either way, am I Sad

Jux · 19/10/2015 21:58

Dear Aunt

What lovely suggestions. I was planning making x anyway, but I really won't have time for beef wellington. However, you could order the ingredients online for delivery here on 24th, if you wanted to make it.

It will be a big treat for me to have someone else cook Xmas dinner for me! Then I can concentrate on making sure the children's Xmas is really magical. How lovely of you to think of it.

Really looking forward to Xmas now!
Much love,

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 19/10/2015 22:04

Rollonthesummer I promise I will but I'll have to name change. And it will be so ridiculous I will be accused of making it up Blush. I'll pm you when I work up the courage Wink

rollonthesummer · 19/10/2015 22:06

Ooh-I can't wait!!

StrangeLookingParasite · 19/10/2015 22:42

Being single and childfree doesn't mean having no manners or common sense.

It certainly doesn't, which is fine, since it's not what she said, either.

Crazypetlady · 19/10/2015 23:40

Tell her you will happily pre order the salmon she can pay when she arrives.

lorelei9 · 20/10/2015 00:03

StrangelookingParasite, it was close enough.

Jux, I love your reply!

shadowfax07 · 20/10/2015 00:34

We're hosting Christmas this year, and just had the Great What Meat Shall We Have debate. MIL (who hates Turkey) has remembered her manners and said ''I'm grateful whatever anyone cooks'. SIL and BIL both love Turkey, so I get to have a proper Christmas dinner! DP has suggested roasting a beef joint at the same time as the Turkey, I have calmly (Aaaaargh Angry ) pointed out that there will be no room for the beef, and no room for the Yorkshire puddings either in the oven with everything else in there. Now, if only I could dissuade him from having sprouts everything would be wonderful!

AGBforever · 20/10/2015 00:42

*expatinscotland Mon 19-Oct-15 17:56:06

Hi, I know it's a bit early to be talking about Christmas smile but I thought it might help if I mention that we really, really love having Yorkshire puddings with our Christmas dinner. I know not everybody does so I decided I'd just mention it and I hope it's not too much bother and there will be room in the oven. Aunt Bessie's would be fine and I can bring them if it will help.

Also, I'm afraid none of us are very keen on Christmas pudding so could I just check whether there will be an alternative? Can I bring anything?

Really looking forward to it!

Love

N Ice'

You really think that's an okay thing to write to a host? That is beyond rude.*

Ok, alien estranged from any cultural norms... it's ok to be open about your likes and dislikes here, as long as you frame it respectfully. Why the drama?

Mehitabel6 · 20/10/2015 07:21

I definitely think it is a case of 'smile, nod,ignore'. Since they are not there in person I would just say that you are not even thinking about it until December, but it will be traditional.

I don't serve Yorkshire puddings with Christmas dinner ( unless I was having beef ) and if I did I would make my own.

colleysmill · 20/10/2015 07:58

Hmmmm I'm in two kinds about this. I've cooked Christmas dinner pretty much every year bar two since my dmum passed away and whilst I stick to our family traditions for dinner we have absorbed some of our extended family ones too.

However in our case I do usually (about 6 weeks in advance) ask if there are any special requests and try to accommodate as best I can. So it's evolved over the years to a smaller Christmas pudding and more mince pies, beef as well as turkey and gammon ( I like gammon and as I'm cooking I do it!)

The crime in this house against Christmas is bread sauce and cauliflower cheese. I once had Christmas without them and it just wasn't right. And yes we do yorkshires too but usually courtesy of aunt Bessie!!

SoupDragon · 20/10/2015 08:03

So, she didn't sctually dictate what you should eat, she just made suggestions?

SanityClause · 20/10/2015 09:14

665, surely if you were the neighbour of the beast, you would be at 664 or 668.

I guess you live across the road from it.

CruCru · 20/10/2015 09:19

Oh well done, 665.

SuburbanRhonda · 20/10/2015 09:43

I've always loved Aunt Bessie's dumpling mix.

Then a few weeks ago they "improved" the recipe, swapping the vegetable suet for beef suet.

I'm still in mourning Sad

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 20/10/2015 09:51

Sanity..most people don't notice that..well done ! but actually.. The Beast and I live in a cul-de-sac....or..a dead end as it more appropriately known..which are numbered consecutively..

Haggisfish · 20/10/2015 09:57

There's always time ANC room for yorkshires-aunt Bessie's only take three minutes as you're serving everything else. I'd be gutted to not have Yorkies on Christmas Day.

squoosh · 20/10/2015 10:23

I love Yorkies but they're just a bit of batter. I can't imagine them being pivotal to my enjoyment of Christmas Day.

CrapBag · 20/10/2015 10:50

I have yorkies with all roasts, about 4. One of the best things!

honeyroar · 20/10/2015 10:53

Just reply that you are already stretched in both finances and stress levels cooking a traditional Xmas Meal for 15 people, and say that if people keep adding extras air then becomes too much, so you are going to stick to what you'd planned and are sure everyone will enjoy it. If she really wants the smoked salmon and desserts she still has time to alter her tickets and come over a few days early to source/cook them herself.

LaContessaDiPlump · 20/10/2015 10:55

Heh heh. I'm planning a vegan Christmas for all our friends, to be held at our house.

They have nervously requested that it isn't all vegan please.

THE BASTARDS Grin

honeyroar · 20/10/2015 11:03

Contessa they've time to decide, haven't they! If they don't want a vegan Xmas don't go to a vegan's for Xmas. I'm veggie, but would still do meat for those that eat it.

Don't even know if I will be home for Xmas yet, let alone what I'm cooking if I am!

DartmoorDoughnut · 20/10/2015 11:25

She yanbu DH's aunt is a demanding nightmare!

Unexpected I'm totally looking forward to your thread!

LaContessaDiPlump · 20/10/2015 11:35

I offered to do the big Christmas get-together (5th Dec actually!) for all our friends as we did it 2 years ago (back when I wasn't vegan) and it was great. We barbecued a turkey - it was delicious.

My principles are for me to follow, not everyone else - I won't prepare non-vegan stuff but am happy for others to prepare/bring/consume it in my house. It just amused me that they all had a horrible image of sitting down to a dry nut roast Grin I'm not that dictatorial!

However none of them have demanded any particular food as the op's aunt has done, so they are NBU.

RhodaBull · 20/10/2015 11:36

So glad there are others who hate "yorkies, roasties and veggies".

May I also contribute the horror of someone saying "veje-ta-buls" - pronouncing every syllable instead of swallowing. Vegetables should be said overdone sprouts, not al dente ones.

If you're invited to someone's for Christmas and you accept - eat whatever you are given (vegetarian/food allergies aside). How rude to further bother a sweaty stressed host with a fuss about anything .