To think it is rude for guests to dictate what we will eat for Christmas

[shebird]

I just had an email from someone who will be coming to us for Christams asking what I was planning on cooking for Christmas lunch. Then going on to suggest several options of things she would like to have.

This is not for dietary reasons but just purely so that they can have exactly what they would like on the day. This person as never cooked Christmas lunch before and has no idea of the cost and the work involved.

Aibu to give her the number of some local restaurants that are open Christmas Day if she wants to dictate what she would like for lunch?

I'd tell her that you'd already put the deposit down with a lovely local butcher/fishmonger and couldn't afford to lose it if you don't want to do either the starter or main.

The pudding I might consider having a bash at depending on what 'the old family recipe' required, anything beyond my capabilities or budget would be refused on those grounds.

The swan and robins, only if she brings round the prepared birds Christmas eve

Fwiw depending on how much I was into it I might ask people if they had any particular preferences but generally they get what they're given. More than six guests and they get to dictate the beer/wine supply but that's it.

cook everything a month in advance, plate it up, freeze it and microwave it and serve it with a bit of Bisto Best on the day

I'd get a wee packet of smoked salmon from the freezer in IKEA and pass it off as the expensive one- see if she notices. Serve her this only to her, on a special plate with spongebob on it!

But unfortunately the puddings have too many impossible ingredients, so apologise!!

'i'll bear your suggestions in mind.'

fucking pita last time you get invited go jump in the lake

Bloody cheek. I'd reply saying-'Sorry, I won't be doing those as I've got my own ideas, though I'm sure you won't be disappointed!'

Even if I had planned on doing one or the dishes, I wouldn't now!!
If she doesn't like it, she can FOTTFSOF and cook her own bloody Christmas dinner!

She's not invited this year. It's going to cause a shitstorm. In fact I might start a thread...

Oh, please do-this sounds like a thread I need to read!!

How did she phrase these requests, OP?

I'm actually quite cross on your behalf!

I don't think you are being unreasonable, OP, but I also think holiday meals are in a slightly different category than ordinary dinner parties or family meals...

For the latter events it would be beyond the pale for a guest to offer questions or suggestions about the menu, or even to insist upon bringing a dish.

But for many people, dinner at Christmas and Easter and holidays is so fraught with nostalgia, with tradition, etc. and I think many of us have favorite items without which "it just wouldn't be Christmas dinner."

Of course, if one wants total control over having those items, one should cater for oneself at home. But I don't think it's too out of line to hope for one or two of them no matter where the meal takes place. Offering to bring them is about all the gracious guest can do, though, rather than demand them.

Perhaps the gracious hostess would preemptively ask "Are there any holiday favorites that make the Christmas meal special for you? I'll do the best I can..."

There is nothing you could do to macaroni cheese to make it worse.

OP - YANBU.
"Thanks for the email. Great to hear from you, we are looking forward to seeing you. We have xxxxx for Xmas with yyyyy for pudding. It would be lovely if you wanted to bring along the selection of deserts you mention to go with it.

BW a verydisgruntledshebird.

Oh, Auntie Shebird, those are lovely ideas, maybe you can do them next time you're hosting though, we are all set already.

I judge people who say yorkies, roasties and veggies

Oh, so do I. So do I.

OP, I'm single and childfree and it wouldn't enter my head to be as rude as this person.

Being single and childfree doesn't mean having no manners or common sense.

Ditto single and child free but with manners to be polite to someone who is cooking me dinner!!!

If you can't possibly have Xmas without x, y and z then you need to do christmas yourself. End of.

I'm usually just grateful for what I'm given tbh. Though my heart did sink a little when I thought I might be getting frozen pre sliced meat. I wouldn't have said anything though. Can't you just give Auntie Bag a nice bag of pom bears and a glass of something?

Id compromise and agree to a dessert, if it's one that could be done easily and tell her to order the salmon.

The meat would be non-negotiable, and I'd say I'd already ordered it from the butcher.

I would ban the word "trimming" before getting down to roasties and veggies.

Seriously OP, all you need is "thanks but I'm sorted you'll have what your fucking well given as a guest in my house rude aunt X".

YANBU, she has been very rude. If she wants these things that badly she can arrange it somehow.

I don’t know how it would be possible to change the menu for Christmas dinner at this point
I personally have been boiling the sprouts for nearly a month already..
The turkey has been in the dehumidifier to make sure it is dry enough to remove all of the moisture from everybody’s mouths and possibly their entire heads.
and
I have been culturing a special bacteria to see if its possible to overwhelm the one already existing in grandmas beautiful but completely un-washable seasonal traditional (covered in glittery shit) gravy jug so we can have a disease other than salmonella this year..botulisms my odds on favourite..

I have already made both the Christmas cake - (although that may have done a runner having absorbed quite a lot of the left over liqueur from that cupboard of "Coloured booze I should never have brought home from my holiday" ) - now I think of it , it had been getting a bit feisty and seems to have gone all quite in its old biscuit tin now...or it could be pupating..
and the Christmas pudding is also done - I put all of MILs jars of ageing mince pie filling into a cannon ball mould from the 16th century and I have wrapped it in an heirloom muslin cloth (largely clean rag) - we are either going to eat it - or fire it up the chimney..

I cant imagine what could be added at this late stage to improve on this traditional revelry...

What do you mean you don’t want to come......?

I do aunt bessies Yorkshires, they take 3 mins roughly so I put them in whilst dishing up

I can't remember if I said how much I like Aunt Bessie's Dumpling Mix

I love dumplings in stew and I'm not a bad cook, but mine sometimes came out too heavy. Then my mum told me about these. She taught me how to make dumplings but she confessed: 'These are better than mine.'

I found that hard to believe, but it's true. They are perfect. The only problem is I can only get the mix from Iceland and there isn't one near me so if I happen to pass one, I bulk buy.

What I really like about Iceland, apart from the fact that Aunt Bessie's Dumpling Mix is often on special offer, is that no one judges you, even if your only purchase is 10 packets of dumpling mix.

text back
single word
no explanation

CRACKERS

666 that is brilliant!

I think many of us have favorite items without which "it just wouldn't be Christmas dinner."

If you feel like that--you should stay at home and cook them yourself!

I wish someone would send me a demand for Yorkies at the Christmas table
I would have weeks of misunderstanding bemused emails trying to comply with their request -well, the butcher apparently doesn't do yorkies but my neighbour has one, so Ive got a large net....

If you judge someone for having yorkies with turkey
We have yorkies with every roast going (southern plebs).

If I'm hosting I might ask someone if they're okay with X, or if their DC will Y or Z, but anyone who tries to plan my menu for me can take a hike - unless they want to take over.

the butcher apparently doesn't do yorkies but my neighbour has one, so Ive got a large net....
And they're only bite-sized!