To think it is rude for guests to dictate what we will eat for Christmas

[shebird]

I just had an email from someone who will be coming to us for Christams asking what I was planning on cooking for Christmas lunch. Then going on to suggest several options of things she would like to have.

This is not for dietary reasons but just purely so that they can have exactly what they would like on the day. This person as never cooked Christmas lunch before and has no idea of the cost and the work involved.

Aibu to give her the number of some local restaurants that are open Christmas Day if she wants to dictate what she would like for lunch?

How long is she staying with you?

And yes, what's the suggestions? Oysters and gravadlax, or a GBBO-style meringue cake thing of hundreds of layers? Enquiring minds need to know...

To be honest Gaspode, while your first version is outrageously rude, your second version is milder but equally rude in my opinion - I'd almost be more offended. At least the first one would raise a laugh. Second one is pretendy nice but really just the same -give me what I want!

If a person can't survive without yorkshire pud (or whatever) for one dinner, then he or she should stay home and cook for themselves so they can have exactly what they want.

The only question for the host should be "what can I bring/what can I do?"

OP, I'd reply "yes it is fun designing christmas dinners, isn't it. I haven't finished my menu yet but am looking forward to doing it"

Maybe they're just offering helpful suggestions rather than demanding?

I'm also curious as to what the suggestions are.

I need to know what these items are though if they have requested turkey and sprouts then definitely NU. If they are asking for chicken madras and pilau rice then tell them to bring it along.

There are 15 of us xmas day and they are all close family so I would have no issue with them bringing something along or buying it in advance for me my mum to cook on the day. I usually ask everyone what they fancy for dessert but then everyone chips in for the food as I host every year.

Who is the person asking?

And what have they asked for??

Who the actual fuck is this person, as in what's her relationship to you?

Is she demanding beans on toast then a bag of flumps for pud?

Cherish her.

[santa]

I'd like to know what she wants please

Fuck I'm hungry.

When I was cooking Xmas dinner for 10, one couple said they loved onion rings and yorkshire puds with their dinner, but would bring them. I said fine. No big deal.

I think we need to know what they wanted on the menu...

I think you're being a bit unreasonable if it's just suggestions. Unless it's my mother in which case yadnbu because her suggestions are more like a three lined whip and are invariably expensive and fiddly. She will also often then turn her nose up at it once presented

If it's anything with larks tongues, marron glacé, game or a whole bastard smoke salmon tell her to F off.

Of course I want to make sure that my guests enjoy the day and had no intention of cooking something I know they do not like or cannot eat. She can be quite bossy and gets a bit over excited in the run up to Christmas so perhaps her enthusiasm to have everything perfect has got the better of her.

I just find it a bit U as I know would be grateful if someone cooked me beans on toast for Christmas lunch.

I want to know the suggestions too

your second version is milder but equally rude in my opinion - I'd almost be more offended. .... Second one is pretendy nice but really just the same -give me what I want!

If a person can't survive without yorkshire pud (or whatever) for one dinner, then he or she should stay home and cook for themselves so they can have exactly what they want.

Gosh, really? When I cook for other people, I want to be sure they're going to enjoy what they're eating, just as I also want to make sure I'm going to enjoy it. We don't have Yorkshire pudding with every roast but I've learned from here that a lot of people do and it would be no trouble at all to shove a few ready-made puds in the oven near the end. Similarly, I know lots of people really can't stand dried fruit in any form (poor souls) so unless I was confident that people did like it I wouldn't just provide Christmas pudding.

So if I was cooking Christmas dinner for a lot of people (which, praise be, I'm not) I'd want to put out feelers to make sure that what I was planning to cook would meet everybody's requirements - within reason. I don't see that as particularly outrageous.

I'm tutting at her rudeness whilst also admiring her cheek.

Onion rings? With Christmas dinner?

Does your guest have mental health issues OP?

just find it a bit U as I know would be grateful if someone cooked me beans on toast for Christmas lunch.

I was on board with you until you said that OP, because I really wouldn't. Nuh uh.

There is nothing outrageous in the suggestions themselves, just the fact that she has stated what she wants as if it was pre ordering for a group booking at a restaurant.

The other thing about Christmas dinner is it isn't just a meal, it's all tied up with family memories. If somebody grew up always having pickled beetroot on the table at Christmas dinner and loved it, or if they've always had onion rings from when their children were toddlers and would eat little else, why shouldn't they have it now? Nobody else has to eat it if they don't want to.

Come on shebird tell us what she wants and who she is?

I'm thinking either a younger Sister who wants what she's always had at your mums or a younger SIL who want's what she's always had at your MIL's