Who is BU? Me or DH (Childs birthday related)

[catgirl1976]

DS will be 4 in November

There are lots of things he would like for a present (thanks adverts )

However, I've narrowed it down to:

1. A bike (big present)
2. Paw Patrol Look Out (fecking over priced for a bit of plastic but he loves Paw Patrol) and
3. A Hot Wheels Robot thingy he keeps seeing on the TV and loves and which would add on to his existing Hot Wheels Track

I mentioned this to DH and he felt it was OTT and DS should just get 1 single present.

I think that's mean. Left to me he would get the 3 things above and then some little presents too (couple of books, new colouring things or some craft stuff etc).

I can wind in the extras (though I think they are fun) but I don't think 3 presents is excessive and I think for a 4th birthday, one single present seems a little bit lame.

I appreciate DH doesn't want to spoil him and I'm not keen on those huge piles of presents you see on boasty Facebook posts, but I think 3 presents is fine.

DH is really adamant that 1 present is enough. I think he's being mean. :(

We can afford the 3 presents listed above so it's not finance worries on his part, just a desire not to "spoil" him.

Who is being U (or mean)?

Has he only ever had one present for birthdays?

Its his birthday not Christmas, I'm with your dh

How much are 2) and 3)?

Personally I would say a bike is a huge present which could be added to with your colouring, crafty stuff. I agree with your DH but am assuming that 2) and 3) are expensive too.

I think it is a bit OTT: I would get one big present and a few smaller presents. After all, Christmas is coming up do it'd not like he would have to wait long for the other things he wants.

No. He's always had a few

DH says he will get loads from GPs, other family members and at his party, which is true but I think coming down on your birthday and seeing a little pile of exciting, wrapped presents is pretty key.

I keep imagining one solitary box in the living room and thinking "Sod off DH"

Sorry: should be
.... Christmas is coming up so it's not ...

For me personally that would be overboard for a birthday. I would buy that amount for Christmas.

I'm on your DH's side too, I think one present - especially if it's a big present like a bike - is plenty, especially for a fourth birthday.

The Paw Patrol thing is about £55 (stupid for what it is) and the Hot Wheels robot thing is about £30

2 presents as a compromise is a good way to go I think

Or 1 and the extras.

We've always done one present for birthdays and a bunch of them for Christmas. I'm with your DH on this.

I'd keep at least one (if not two) of those presents for Christmas/Santa if you celebrate that. We do one present on birthdays (although I have been known to wrap something from the dog)

Ooh. It looks like I am being U!

I will re-think my stance and offer 1 present and some little bits to DH.

Jesus that's a lot to spend on a four year old!

I agree that seeing a little pile of presents is exciting, but I don't think that means that all the presents have to be expensive. I think it's much better if there is one special present, not least because otherwise you are setting up very expensive expectations for the future if you routinely give three big gifts.

A bike + two other big presents AND some small presents? I think you are setting up some very high expectations for birthday presents. How are you going to top this every year? How many presents will he expect by the time he's 10?

I think one big thing and a few little things is a good compromise.

No one's right or wrong, but personally I think kids get a larger number of presents at Christmas so I would as a parent give more for a birthday. What about a compromise: two of the three presents you listed (a bigger and smaller one, probably) and then the other big present for Christmas?

I would save the bike for Christmas tbh

Right. Bike and bits it is.

Then he can have the other two or Christmas.

Thanks MN for showing me the error of my PFB ways :)

DH will be delighted and astounded that MN have found in his favour

Also, they love cheap tat. You could buy five things from the pound shop and wrap them separately to bulk out the pile. He'll then annoy you by loving the tat more than the bike

graceful acceptance op, good show!

One big and a handful of small (books, pens etc) for birthdays around here.

And depending on the size of the party the amount of presents you get from that could be epic. I'm still recovering from DS's 4th birthday. It took a week to open all the presents from the party...

I think the bike plus at least one of the other gifts. A bike can only be used outdoors. Also unless he is already riding well it is actually quite hard work and frustrating to learn ? Plus to play on a bike, he is going to need an adult out with him whenever he wants, its not like he can instantly play with it by himself, unlike the other actual 'toys'.