Who is BU? Me or DH (Childs birthday related)

[catgirl1976]

DS will be 4 in November

There are lots of things he would like for a present (thanks adverts )

However, I've narrowed it down to:

1. A bike (big present)
2. Paw Patrol Look Out (fecking over priced for a bit of plastic but he loves Paw Patrol) and
3. A Hot Wheels Robot thingy he keeps seeing on the TV and loves and which would add on to his existing Hot Wheels Track

I mentioned this to DH and he felt it was OTT and DS should just get 1 single present.

I think that's mean. Left to me he would get the 3 things above and then some little presents too (couple of books, new colouring things or some craft stuff etc).

I can wind in the extras (though I think they are fun) but I don't think 3 presents is excessive and I think for a 4th birthday, one single present seems a little bit lame.

I appreciate DH doesn't want to spoil him and I'm not keen on those huge piles of presents you see on boasty Facebook posts, but I think 3 presents is fine.

DH is really adamant that 1 present is enough. I think he's being mean. :(

We can afford the 3 presents listed above so it's not finance worries on his part, just a desire not to "spoil" him.

Who is being U (or mean)?

You have just reminded me DS is 4 in December. I think you are way overthinking this ok I am lurking to get present ideas for DS you caught me

We do one big present and lots of small ones, three seems fine and nowhere near OTT.

We do treats throughout the year though so bikes etc are bought when needed not saved for an occasion.

My DD had a balance bike at 2 but has never ever ridden it. Bought her a bike with stabilisers and she's on it all the time. (Not a present - just bought at the time she needed it.)

DS1 has just turned 4. We got him one big present from us. He got 5 presents from his party

The balance bike was a terrible purchase in hind sight. I wouldn't reccomend one. Not heard a single parent say their child used it!

My 2 come down to a modest but nicely arranged pile on their birthday but only have one or 2 presents from us-the rest are from family and friends.
I don't get why people give more presents at Christmas? Apart from the stocking we buy the same as at birthdays but again, they are lucky to have lots of other people who buy for them so they end up with too much lots

our DS turned 6 few weeks back, we only got him a bike, as he got utterly spoilt then by extended family and school friends, we never really went overboard for his birthday but little bit more for Christmas.

As others said noone is wrong and glad ye reached a compromise!

My friend's boys used a balance bike and both have been riding "proper" bikes without stabilisers since they turned 3! DDjas just turned 5 and still needs the stabilisers really. I guess some kids like them and others don't.

DD gets a fair bit through the year and for her birthday and as little as possible for xmas

Odd - DD never had a balance bike but stabilisers and mastered cycling at just 6. DS mastered the balance bike at 3 and pedals at just 4, never used stabilisers; younger DS good on his balance bike at 2. With a bit of perseverance they are brilliant, especially the islabikes one as it's so light.

If money isn't an issue, I don't have an issue with the gifts you want to give him. It sounds like what we do for the dcs.
For me it's not an issue of number, more about whether he will actually use the toys he is given and these things aren't bought just for the sake of it and look like there are lots of presents.

I actually think that it s easier when they get older to go by the 'one present' rule.

I would never count things he will get at his party from friends as gifts.mthey will be a lot of cheap tat that is unusable. Maybe not appropriate for him probably re gifted.

Re family, it depends what they are going to give him too.

But as a general rule, I think that at age, lots of little things (cheap) go down better than one big present.

Try Ali express for cheaper paw patrol stuff

I don't get this "if you can afford it, what's the harm" attitude.

DH and I could afford to buy our kids pretty much anything they want. We don't, though, because we don't them to be spoiled.

Personally I believe his birthday is far more important than Christmas unless you are a church going Christian who believes the virgin birth story!! Celebrate his special day not the over commercialised rip off that Christmas has become.

Spoil him, it's his birthday ffs, he might only have 80 of them and you're unlikely to be around for 20 of those, Jesus fing Christ has had 1,000s!

If he is having the bike I would give him one of the others as it is an inside present that he can play with straight away even if the weather is not bike-friendly

I think though being spoiled is about buying anything the child wants, whenever they like.

A few gifts for a b'day doesn't go in the 'spoiled' category to me as long as it's useful and the child REALLY wants it (ie not a fad).

Tbh I would much more say that a child is spoiled when they are bought an iphone5 (or 6!) when they are in Y6.
That they have several type of game consoles (wifi, Xbox, etc) when they have very similar use etc....
Have so much stuff in the bedroom that they can't find anything at all or know what they actually have and they are never touched.

But when the games are played with and enjoyed, then I don't have an issue with it.

Fwiw we have this thing in the family where the grandparents ask what the dcs wants and we give them a 'list' that they all sort of stick to so, as a whole, the dcs aren't drowning with stuff (I found that grandparents are much more likely to over the top tbh)

Not a problem for us. PILS sent 1 whole colouring book for DD's 5th birthday.

(One reason I swerved the standard whole class party was to avoid 30 plastic bits of tat though.)

Odd that lots of people would give more for Xmas than birthday. Xmas is everybody's day, birthday is just their own special day.

I would never in a million years give my kids a single birthday present. Not that we spend a fortune but it's so much fun for them to open lots of things. Mine always have one of those apparently 'boasty' piles, but lots of it is cheap, books, clothes etc stuff I pick up in charity shops etc over the months before their birthday. Not sure I would spend that much though but then I've always bought second hand bikes for around £30 so a bike is not such an expensive present in our house.

That amount seems fine to me. I mean if the weather's not great then he won't get to use the bike right away anyway, so it's good that there's another present or two that he can get use out of straight away.

My DD is turning 3 in just over a week and we've gotten her 4 presents, A kids tablet as her 'main' one, then three 'smaller' (cheaper) gifts: Jigsaw puzzle, 4in1 Orchard Games collection and a Doctor's medical kit. After reading this thread, it seems like loads! To be honest though, we don't go crazy with toys and what not throughout the year, she gets the odd one but we tend to save the bigger stuff for birthday and Christmas. My mum however has bought her a bike and god knows what else (she goes overboard with gifts), she will definitely be one spoilt little miss this year

One present?! I am the opposite to everyone on here, I give more for birthdays than I do for Christmas, because Christmas comes with lots of other treats, stockings, special food etc and other people's presents, so I feel like the presents are not as necessary to create the excitement, much like a PP has said above. It's not about the money either, the excitement at that age is the opening of the presents, not really what is inside, so you can give clothes/stationery/craft stuff etc that you would have given anyway.

Kids like opening presents. It's fun. I always have a pile for our kids, and make it feel like a big celebration, though that doesn't mean that I have to spend a lot. Our kids don't have extended family to give them presents though, and when they were little we had fairly small parties, so not too many extra presents. Our children are grown now and not materialistic in the least; lots of birthday presents don't make a child spoiled.

You know, I've never really understood this - even when I was a kid, and more so now I'm a grown up:

Why do people give more/bigger presents on an imaginary friends someone else's birthday than on your own?

I have always spent more and given more to DD on the day that celebrates her own wonderful miraculous birth, than at Christmas - plus at Christmas you have to buy everyone else presents, so it's more bloody expensive.

OP, sorry, but I'd have stuck to my guns and bought that and more for my kid. I think birthdays are far more important.

I don't think it's unreasonable at all. DS's birthday is in December and he always gets more than 1 present. We set a budget that is the same for both kids and is the same for birthdays and Christmas and they get whatever I think they would like within that budget, which always ends up at least 6-7 things. At that age quantity is important too as it makes it special and you always get a book and sweets as 2 of your presents in our house.

I think birthdays should be more important than Christmas!! One present on your birthday is rubbish!!