Who is BU? Me or DH (Childs birthday related)

[catgirl1976]

DS will be 4 in November

There are lots of things he would like for a present (thanks adverts )

However, I've narrowed it down to:

1. A bike (big present)
2. Paw Patrol Look Out (fecking over priced for a bit of plastic but he loves Paw Patrol) and
3. A Hot Wheels Robot thingy he keeps seeing on the TV and loves and which would add on to his existing Hot Wheels Track

I mentioned this to DH and he felt it was OTT and DS should just get 1 single present.

I think that's mean. Left to me he would get the 3 things above and then some little presents too (couple of books, new colouring things or some craft stuff etc).

I can wind in the extras (though I think they are fun) but I don't think 3 presents is excessive and I think for a 4th birthday, one single present seems a little bit lame.

I appreciate DH doesn't want to spoil him and I'm not keen on those huge piles of presents you see on boasty Facebook posts, but I think 3 presents is fine.

DH is really adamant that 1 present is enough. I think he's being mean. :(

We can afford the 3 presents listed above so it's not finance worries on his part, just a desire not to "spoil" him.

Who is being U (or mean)?

I do like how open minded you've been :-) we tend to get a present, plus a couple of new t-shirts and books as I love getting books whether new or second hand.
Really is up to you and your husband to compromise but as others have noted you could be settling into a tradition that isn't sustainable so it's good to think now whilst they're still young enough to change it. I always feel a pull between wanting to make them happy and not wanting to spoil them (and then a lurch to spoiling when I see how much MIL has bought!). I read of an interesting study about all/most toys being taking out of a class and when the researchers came back after a month or two the teachers reported the children were engaging in very imaginative play. Anyway, in twenty or so years he likely won't remember what it was anyway but he will remember enjoying the time spent as a family :-) enjoy the day x

Maybe my memories are rose tinted

The reality will be DH moaning about how cold it is, DS refusing to wear his helmet and it pouring down and being minus ten :)

He says he wants a bike but we got him a balance bike last year and it is barely touched. now he's too old for that and wants a "big boys bike with 'staylizas'" apparantly.

My DS got a bike for his 4th birthday so no other 'big' presents, but I did get him more things to open - he too would kill for that Paw Patrol Lookout but I am too tight to buy it! He did get a Paw Patrol sound book thing though and some other little things like that. I do like there to be something of a pile of presents; it doesn't have to cost much, and you can throw in stuff like t-shirts, character bath foam etc that you might buy anyway.

one big present. so one off the list of 1, 2 or 3 and then some of the small bits that add up to ten to twenty pounds.

Can you afford it? And to keep the expectation up in later birthdays?

We can afford it. But I think the second part of that sentence is DHs point - setting up an expectation. And after this thread, I thin he's right

1 big present and some little bits is definately the way I'm going.

It doesn't seem too excessive. It seems like my parents were the norm with one present for birthday and piles and piles for Christmas, whereas my partner had bigger presents for birthdays.

Much more likely to be bloody freezing at Christmas!

That is true! Can't be much worse than November as far as the weather goes though

I don't see a bike as a present, if one rides a lot I see it as a necessity. especially if and when they grow out of them. Kind of like a laptop for school. Not a present.

We've always given and received piles of presents though. Kids don't understand £ value so that wouldnt be my concern as long as it was affordable.

I'd do the three and the little fillers too.

It's not every year he'll need a big thing like a bike.

In what world are birthday presents less important than Christmas presents!?

Would DH allow a helmet, bike lights etc as add on gifts?

I would say a little ott too but I think I know what you are saying about the pile so presents, do you mean you just want to make much/make a fuss of him? We decorate the kitchen with balloons and banners and lay the presents out, you could pick one or two of the big presents and wrap colouring books and crayons, along with balloons and banners it would be lovely without the present side being ott. Maybe pancakes or something nice for brekkie, that's what we do anyway

He's got a helmet slithy otherwise that would be a good idea

I think some crafty stuff, a book or two and some poundshop stuff like bubbles will b exciting to unwrap and not cost more than £20

Does he really want a bike? Or would he prefer one of the other two gifts?

DD is 4. For her birthday she had one big present & a bag (just a standard sized gift bag) full of little bits. Crayons, a colouring book, a ball that lights up when you bounce it etc. etc. etc. Her big present was a play house for the garden.

She was happy enough with that, and actually more thrilled with the Peppa Pig balloon .

For Christmas she is also having the Paw Patrol Lookout thing - but of course it only comes with one puppy! Conveniently, a separate pack of three puppies is available for an extra £20 .

God, they know how to charge for those fecking pups

IMO YANBU. 3 gifts (as long as you can afford them) seems fair enough.

You can still teach him the value of money and to be grateful for his gifts.

Birthdays are more special than Christmas IMO.

I Its his birthday not Christmas, I'm with your dh*

Yeah. Don't celebrate the date that's personally relevant to your child's arrival into the world. Go beserk to commemorate some random bloke's non-birthday.

Birthdays are more special than Christmas IMO

Me too.

I think it's just down to having different preferences and that neither of you ABU. I personally love buying one big present and lots of smaller ones for my DS and do they same for DP but have been told more than once by family members that it's excessive. Perhaps you could compromise by getting the bike and then the little craft bits instead of other biggish presents too?

Also, a bike is a crap Christmas present - they won't be able to ride it safely for months!

I don't understand the idea that a child should get less for their birthday if it's vaguely close to Christmas.
I have one July child and one December child, should one get more than the other due to their birthday and Christmas being opposite ends of the year?