Who is BU? Me or DH (Childs birthday related)

[catgirl1976]

DS will be 4 in November

There are lots of things he would like for a present (thanks adverts )

However, I've narrowed it down to:

1. A bike (big present)
2. Paw Patrol Look Out (fecking over priced for a bit of plastic but he loves Paw Patrol) and
3. A Hot Wheels Robot thingy he keeps seeing on the TV and loves and which would add on to his existing Hot Wheels Track

I mentioned this to DH and he felt it was OTT and DS should just get 1 single present.

I think that's mean. Left to me he would get the 3 things above and then some little presents too (couple of books, new colouring things or some craft stuff etc).

I can wind in the extras (though I think they are fun) but I don't think 3 presents is excessive and I think for a 4th birthday, one single present seems a little bit lame.

I appreciate DH doesn't want to spoil him and I'm not keen on those huge piles of presents you see on boasty Facebook posts, but I think 3 presents is fine.

DH is really adamant that 1 present is enough. I think he's being mean. :(

We can afford the 3 presents listed above so it's not finance worries on his part, just a desire not to "spoil" him.

Who is being U (or mean)?

I like the idea of christmas better. All kids excited, the anticipation, trying to be good and think of others. All getting gifts and sharing new toys. Helping with decs and concerts. Something we can all share, and join in.

I would say definitely something else you can use and play with, not just a bike for all the same reasons a PP said; need an adult, need decent weather etc.

My 3 are all very different children but all rode balance bikes and rode bikes (no stabilisers) at 3 yrs 10 months, 3 years- the day after his birthday, and 3 years 3 months respectively. I think they're brilliant.

I also think a birthday where it's your special day is great my poor twins

DS's birthday is within a week of Christmas. He has about 3 significant presents from us for both occasions, and some smaller fillers.

Since he turned 4, he gets £2 a week which he saves, mainly to buy Lego, or sometimes for vehicles which controlled buying small nick nacks which were adding up.

I tend to buy outdoor toys around his "half birthday" when there's a better selection and when they're usable. His brother benefits from those as they're sharing rather than personal, and they're not wrapped, it's just a way of controlling what I buy through the year.

And that's I think balance bikes are brilliant, not my dc!!! I think my dc are brilliant of course but I doubt many others would :) I also know loads of 3 year old who bike, don't think they're particularly talented for that reason.

I have always said that they can have a big present - or a party and a smaller present. Ds always opts for a big party with his friends, and this year (7th birthday) got a few bits of football merchandise for his favourite team which came to around £20 and he was over the moon. He loved his party and the gifts that he got from his friends, and the cake I baked (yep, football themed ). He mostly got money from family and he spent it on a new football kit.

He will be getting a lot more for christmas, that is just how we do it. I find the posters who declare this as 'odd' very rude. People just do things differently

Op, we bought ds a new bike earlier in the year though as he desperately needed it and we didn't want to wait until Christmas as we knew he would get lots of use out of it in the summer, so we aren't totally mean

We do more on birthdays. Christmas is about the joy of giving as well as recieving gifts and they hopefully share in each other's new toys as well.

Blimey. Here, my DS recently got a bike for his birthday AND Christmas. He knows that because he wanted a bike, he'll be getting a smaller Xmas present. Finances don't allow more than that.

I would have asked my parents and sibling to buy the other things.

I'm amazed at the number of people saying that they only buy one present. Really ?? How miserable. Possibly ok for an older child who has a concept of value - but for a young child who will just be excited opening anything then I think it's really mean. OP - stick with your original plan. He won't be little and excited by birthdays forever .....

I'm amazed at people saying they give a pile of presents

My ds was four a few weeks ago. He asked for a cement mixer. He didn't want or need anything else. He has fireman Sam tat, Paw patrol tat, a bike and a scooter.

We got him a minion cake on the day of his birthday and he had a party with his preschool friends.

I refuse to buy things just for the sake of it.
My dp thought we should have bought him more but why? Ds was beside himself with excitement when he opened the box with the cement mixer in it

I'm not a believer in a pile of presents. If they were getting a bike that would be the sum total of gifts given!

We give about equal for Xmas and birthdays (which are two days apart in my ss's case!). We tend to go on value rather than number of presents, so if he had been getting something more expensive he would have been told that was all he was getting because it was expensive - kind of teaches them the value of things a bit more? Even if they only then get one present from you it's something special, and they get other things from grandparents etc anyway.

I'm amazed at the number of people saying that they only buy one present. Really ?? How miserable.

What the heck is miserable about it?

The thing is, it isn't one present, is it? They get loads from family as well.

We work on the basis that they get a small b'day present and (starting at 4, ending at 8) a big deal party, and the big gift bonanza is at Christmas, here.

Small is relative, obviously - we buy a decentish lego set, usually.

We make birthdays more special with lots of decorations ... Balloons all over the floor, asda do 3 helium balloons for a fiver.... Party poppers! The excitement for our is walking into the lounge to that ... One big present and lots of little things. £150 budget for a birthday. We have 3 kids. 2 sets of grandparents, 3 aunties and uncles. (4 actually but 1 Pyscho so no Present from her)
Birthdays are special to that child ... Christmas is special to all 3!
I agree on the bike for Christmas though .... That's always when we got a new bike !!!!

I don't think YABU at all but I always like to spoil my boys on their birthdays - they have no family here so we buy from us and on behalf of their extended family elsewhere. I think my DH would be more on the side of your DH, he always thinks I get too much!

The only thing we have always said is a bike isn't a gift, it's just something a child needs as they grow up (along with swimming lessons, clothes, food, books) - so ours have had a bike as and when they have needed one rather than as a birthday or Christmas present. DS2 has never had a new bike, he's always had DS1's old bike when outgrown so it seems a bit mean to give a second hand bike (that he knows used to belong to his brother!) as a birthday present.

We normally buy a big Lego set, some smaller lego sets, books, craft kits, chocolate, outdoor toy of some sort for a birthday, plus do a party / cake / decorations. Christmas they get one big present from us and a few little bits & bobs in a stocking (and gifts from family of course). Budget normally $250 for birthdays, around $200 each for Christmas. They're asking for amazon tokens for books and Skylanders stuff now so the size is going down as the $$ goes up!

I might expand on one present if we were the only ones buying but my kids have three lots of grandparents and three sets of aunts and uncles who buy for them as well, and they each get a present from their sibling (which we buy for them as they're only little).

My kids have certainly never seemed miserable, on their birthday or any other day. Perhaps the poor deprived darlings are simply putting on a brave face?

The reviews of paw patrol look out on amazon say it is a total piece of shit...that is actually a direct quote ...

I would rather have one present I wanted than lots I didnt. Kids know they have to choose wisely. If its expensive others may gift money so they can save up for something. It is easy.to get carried away. That teaches them to expect more.
All saying DC are special, of coarse they are, so are the one gift children.

Yabu - that is too much

Get him, a bike, a no4 helium balloon, bubbles , a book & some sweets .

This is why I rather love being able to buy presents from my family for my boys as well (being overseas) - means I can get them what I want to get them, and divvy them up between givers so DH can't get the arse about "how much they're getting" - still only adds up to 3 parcels, but that's better than one.

Very graceful op. Good work.

I am of the tempted to buy too many pressies camp too!

I would get the bike for christmas and get him the other two for his birthday.
We normally do 1 main present plus a birthday bag full of little bits like slinkys, playdoh tub, crayons and colouring book, bubbles etc.

Why on earth should he be given three expensive presents for his birthday? I absolutely agree with your husband.

A friend sent me this link this morning for the individual Paw Patrol Pups for £2.25 each www.facebook.com/CheapKidsDeals/photos/a.791294460908873.1073741828.769602969744689/962718670433117/?type=3&comment_id=963503367021314&notif_t=comment_mention

Just in case it's any help to anyone. Never bought from that sit before, but she's ordered the whole set so I can let people know if they turn up!