Are we doing ourselves any favours with the "I'm hormonal excuse"?

[GruntledOne]

We see only too often on here someone excusing or explaining daft/unreasonable/irrational behaviour on the basis that "I'm pregnant/just. given birth/premenstrual/menstrual/post menstrual, I'm hormonal, I can't help it". Yet there are hordes of women out there handling difficult and/or dangerous jobs day after day with no concessions for the possibility that it could be that time of the month. You don't see female police officers claiming that they don't fancy going on that dawn raid as it's the wrong time of the month, or barristers excusing a bad job because they're pregnant. I've worked with women in a variety of jobs over the years and never been able to tell when they were on their periods unless they mentioned it.

What concerns me about constantly reaching for the hormonal excuse is that it will backfire. It's exactly the excuse employers use for not employing or promoting women, and we are simply giving it credence. So should we maybe all give it a rest?

I've only ever heard this sort of guff from men, tbh.

Really?

why do we have to bring men into this?

It was aimed at people who blame their own feeble and unreasonable conduct solely on their hormones when the reality is that they are perfectly able to control that conduct if they have to, irrespective of what point in their cycle they are at or whether they are pregnant.

My Dsis used to cry when a comical advertisement came on the TV. The reason? Pregnancy hormones. She is far from feeble, she couldn't control it and would get embarrassed about it.

When my mother entered the menopause she suffered from hot flushes and sleepless nights which caused her to be more short tempered than usual.

Neither of them needed "medication" for these normal and natural reactions to what was happening to their bodies. They did talk about them. It is not the fault of women that misogynists exist and we should not have to silence ourselves in order to not hand excuses to misogynists on a plate.

Those reactions might be natural but they are not an inevitable part of being female and they are not shared by all women, pregnant, menopausal, or otherwise.

Yes, hormones are at the route of many medical problems. However women also say 'I'm feeling a bit hormonal' in the same way that they say they are 'having a blond moment'.

You can be sure that the hormone in question isn't adrenalin and the blond isn't Brad Pitt. They are both expressions that describe somebody who by virtue of being female isn't quite able to cope.

pet but that's what the OP is talking about. People using 'i'm hormonal' in a flippant manner to excuse poor behaviour.

You said we should give people the benefit of doubt. Which I would if it was a one off. If the way you act at work negatively impacts others it needs tackling. Which is what I said. How it is tackled is very dependant on the situation.

No they are not shared by all women, but they are really happening to the women reporting them and those women should be able to speak freely about it. If you think someone is lying about their hormones, challenge them on it.

The response to misogyny should never be to silence women.

I don't think anybody on this thread has suggested that anybody shouldn't talk about genuine medical complaints.

Why would I think somebody was lying about their hormones? The problem is using 'hormones' as short hand for unreliable, over emotional and dippy.

The same way that you might suspect that somebody who talks merrily about enjoying housework and being a bit old doesn't actually have ocd, and somebody who describes themself as a bit schizoid because they sometimes change their mind doesn't actually have schizophrenia.

No, I think that when they are using hormonal to describe being a bit emotional/dippy.

People do often use the word hormonal in that sense and it is perfectly clear that that is their meaning.

Equally, when somebody says 'I feel like death warmed up' it is clear that they do not fear that they have just died and then been warmed up.

The GP who says she is easily distracted and impaired by her hormones really scares me. Medical malpractice kills people. A GP who is not paying attention or misprescribes is a danger in the workplace.

Merry, it's not about medical complaints. The OP says that women should not talk about their hormones because misogynists will use this to be misogynists.

how can you tell what the person means? Do they have a duty to divulge private information?

And I repeat that I have managed people who say this sort of shit and when spoken to and offered support admit they are in the wrong and it's not really hormones it's that they are having a bad week/ don't like the person they are snipping at/ to shut down the conversation etc

We see only too often on here someone excusing or explaining daft/unreasonable/irrational behaviour on the basis that "I'm pregnant/just. given birth/premenstrual/menstrual/post menstrual, I'm hormonal, I can't help it".

No she says they should not blame irrational and daft behaviour on their hormones. If your hormones are causing you to behave in a daft and irrational manner, whether you are male or female, that is a medical complaint. It is not just part and parcel of being female.

And yes I do think someone has a responsibility to divulge a medical complaint to their bosses, if it effects their behaviour to the point no one wants to work with them. Because otherwise it would end up with them being sacked. Because we don't tolerate workplace bullying.

How can an employer help and support someone if they have no clue?

No she says they should not blame irrational and daft behaviour on their hormones

Or to be more precise the simple existence of hormones and the fact that they are female.

Obviously irrational behaviour can be blamed on illness and that can be related to hormones, but that is a medical problem not something to just take on the chin.

However women in general are not debilitated by the simple presence of female hormones.

Agree Axekick.

Also, if people think that the feminine condition does mean that women in general have a tendency to irrationality, then really the misogynists are right.

how can you tell what the person means? Do they have a duty to divulge private information?

It's only like that because you keep trying to take the thread back to medical problems. Again it's like you can't have a conversation on mn about certain things, because there are some people who would be reasonable to say it.

Thanks merry!

Bloody cut and pasted the wrong section

I meant to cut and paste the section saying it's like a benefits thread

Merry, what medical treatment would the doctor have recommended for Dsis's crying over an advertisement when pregnant? It was daft, unresonable and irrational and it was caused by hormones.

If it was disrupting her life to the point that she was debilitated or felt that her life was disrupted she was suffering from a medical condition relating to pregnancy.

Plenty of people can't work because of pregnancy related conditions and there is often no treatment except waiting to not be pregnant. However These are medical conditions, not an inevitable part of being pregnant.

And plenty of people male and female cry at advertisements.