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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop DDs dance lessons

156 replies

Thisishalloweenfifteen · 10/10/2015 18:18

DD has done a bit of baby ballet and she loves everything about it. Loves the costumes, the other girls, the music and her passion for dance can't be matched.

Unfortunately, even to my doting eyes I can see she's got no talent at all. Fundamentally, she's just the wrong shape - slightly protruding tummy, short legs and long body, no natural sense of rhythm.

I'm concerned that getting older will lead to mocking and that it means she isn't doing something she actually could shine at (can only really afford two extra curricular things at present) - or should I just let her do it as she loves it?

Thoughts? :)

OP posts:
futureme · 10/10/2015 18:20

How old is she? If you're at baby ballet why not just stop and do park/ outdoorsy stuff, swim wtih her, play etc adn try again when she's older if she wants to?

Seriouslyffs · 10/10/2015 18:20

Let her continue. It's exercise and musicality even if she's unlikely to continue.

Hairyfairy01 · 10/10/2015 18:20

Yabu. She loves it, that would be good enough reason to keep doing it for me. Very, very few people actually make it in ballet you know.

Junosmum · 10/10/2015 18:21

Let her do it! It's better for her to do something she enjoys. As she gets older shell work out she isn't any good and will naturally step out of it.

Sirzy · 10/10/2015 18:21

As long as she is enjoying it that's all that matters

GabiSolis · 10/10/2015 18:21

Yes age is key here. If she's very young then it's still a bit of fun and may burn out naturally as an interest as she gets older (experience talking here).

Or if she's that bit older, you could try introducing other things to see if she takes to them and therefore ballet falls out of favour.

lostinabook · 10/10/2015 18:22

How old?

I would say let her do as long as she wants. Dance is great for fitness particularly in girls cores.

My dd exact same body type and is in theory a gymnast at 3.5... She can do it as long as she wants and enjoys it

whatdoIget · 10/10/2015 18:23

I would let her continue if she loves it. And stop criticising her physical appearance too, even to yourself.

Spartans · 10/10/2015 18:24

Yabu of its baby ballet it's not proper ballet. These kids are there to have fun, not prepare for career.

Are you joking? Or has someone suggested you quit?

I just can't believe a parent would consider stopping their small child doing something fun for these reasons

SanityClause · 10/10/2015 18:24

My DD was like that.

She is now, at 16, very petite, and a real dancer's build, and continues to love it. It's still good exercise for her, as she's not madly sporty.

If she loves it, let her do it.

scatterthenuns · 10/10/2015 18:25

Let her continue. If she's got no natural ability, she'll get bored eventually and ask to pack it in.

This is from someone who loved her ballet classes as a little girl, but asked to stop aged 8. Preferred riding my bike!

Original poster
Thisishalloweenfifteen · 10/10/2015 18:27

She's just moved on from baby ballet, which is why I thinking it might be a good time to gently steer her towards something more suited.

OP posts:
Spartans · 10/10/2015 18:28

My dd did ballet from 2 to 7. She is now a champion kick boxer. Ballet actually served her very well. So even I she dose decided she doesn't want to continue nothing will be lost.

Spartans · 10/10/2015 18:28

So how old?

ginnybag · 10/10/2015 18:29

Backing up everyone else. Baby ballet isn't 'proper' ballet. How old is she? If she's,still preschool, it's a bit young to be worrying about anything other than introducing her to music and movement. Let her have fun!

Original poster
Thisishalloweenfifteen · 10/10/2015 18:30

She's 4.

OP posts:
MargaretHale · 10/10/2015 18:32

You should let her do it if she loves it.

Sirzy · 10/10/2015 18:33

She is 4, how good she is at things shouldn't matter at all. What matters is she is having fun!

theycallmemellojello · 10/10/2015 18:38

YABU and tbh I'd examine your own issues about body/achievement/talent/whatever - I reckon you're massively projecting.

Leeds2 · 10/10/2015 18:40

I would let her carry on as long as she continues to like the lessons.

Original poster
Thisishalloweenfifteen · 10/10/2015 18:41

I possibly am projecting, but the last thing I want for her is to be bounding in filled with enthusiasm like a Labrador puppy and knocked back down to earth with a bump by the other girls and their mums Sad

OP posts:
futureme · 10/10/2015 18:42

Oops reread the OP properly embarrased. My comment about giving up and trying again later was because I thought she wasn't enjoying it and it was costing money! Teach me to read a thread this tired. I think baby ballet and all that kind of thing are great if you want to do it but at that age you shouldnt feel they "ought" to be doing that kind of activity.

Of course if she enjoys it her baby body shape isnt at all a reason :( That sounds such an odd thing to post I think I hadn't taken it in. Have yu got some body issues that need exploring?

Original poster
Thisishalloweenfifteen · 10/10/2015 18:43

Future, she hasn't got a dancers build or shape, is what I meant.

OP posts:
RachelZoe · 10/10/2015 18:43

slightly protruding tummy

She's 4 Hmm

If she enjoys it, that's the important thing, again, she's four.

You seem very focused on her shape, god help her. You have no idea how she will physically turn out. One of my sons was very into ballet at a high level, there were all shapes and sizes in his class, boys and girls. Doing ballet classes does not = being a professional ballerina.

You sound horrible to be honest, get a grip.

theycallmemellojello · 10/10/2015 18:43

Hm sorry to be blunt but currently the only person proposing to bring her down is you. It doesn't matter if she's not the best! No one will resent her for it. And if you give her a chance - she might be the best! Following your passion is the best way to achieve things - you never know what one thing leads to.