Partner wants me to pay for petrol

[popmama1]

My OH has a car (that FIL bought him and MIL pays the insurance on) and wants me to pay for petrol if he takes me anywhere in it. Bearing in mind the only time he really drives me anywhere is to the supermarket where I pay for all the food shopping and his fags and then back to the flat where I pay all the electric, gas and rent because he's on a zero hour contract and refuses to even try to get a better job. I was learning to drive before I fell pregnant and don't plan on getting a car until after I have our daughter. We got in a genuine argument over whether I should contribute to petrol or not. He doesn't ask his friends or his family to pay if they go out so why should I? AIBU?

Can I call cocklodger too? I know it's already been said but I think it bears saying again.

Stop giving this man house room. Stop feeding him and giving him cigarettes. You are better than this. Your child will have a better childhood with dad as an occasional presence than as this millstone around your neck.

I can't see why being pregnant stops you learning to drive. This man is not a partner, you need to be self sufficient.

Bin him...

Really?!

Guve him a list of all the bills/expenses including food, rent, and stuff for the baby and tell him he's got to pay half. Then get rid of the cocklodger!

Why are people so keen to get joint bank accounts with people who aren't working hard to do their best for their family? The OP has a child to care for - her boyfriend has parents who seem willing to bail him out. Why should she give him free rein to a shared account?

Good God - does he live on this planet - I agree list of outgoings including his petrol, 50 /50 and if you owe him anything suggest you will pay it and if not suggest he starts earning his keep with something or other.

I think you know he is BU...

I wonder how you ended up in this situation?

What he is paying for? What are you going to do when on Mat leave? Seriously I think this is a protect yourself and your baby while you still have an income coming in.

cough cocklodger cough

I saw your post about his DM, she sounded awful. I guess the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree with her son.

What exactly are you getting out of this relationship from him?

You ask about not having to pay for petrol which isn't reasonable, yet your are paying for everything including his cigarettes. You are enabling his behaviour, don't you see that? YABVVVU to yourself on that.

Why wouldn't you sort out money issues in a relationship before having a child together?

I've nothing positive to say so I will stop there.

Well, at least he's honest about the fact you are keeping him, and that he doesn't see why he can't exploit you for every penny. No mixed messages there, he's a gigolo.

A gigolo is a male escort or social companion who is supported by a woman in a continuing relationship, often living in her residence...The gigolo is expected to provide companionship, to serve as a consistent escort with good manners and social skills, and often, to serve as a dancing partner as required by the woman in exchange for the support. The relationship may include sexual services as well, when he also would be referred to as "a kept man".

Does he have good manners and can he dance? If not, you need to go for the upgrade. You should be getting more out of the relationship than a pregnancy.
Why are you choosing to be in a relationship with him?

And you are still with him because....

I can't see why being pregnant stops you learning to drive. This man is not a partner, you need to be self sufficient

It should be fairly obvious that most people these days know that pregnancy does not stop driving lessons.

I expect the op is quite possibly prioritising her money on bills and preparing for her up coming baby,rather than being a special delicate pregnant flower

@ Can he dance?

What does this man pay for towards your family together?

What does this man do when not working?

Does this man parent?

Is he a good OH doesn't sound so far ?

Imperial, the sooner some women who want a baby can just pick their spermdoner on amazon, the better IMO.
She's pregnant, buying him fags and the baby is already a secondary smoker.
What's she expecting the response to be?
Yes, YABU expecting your kept man to do anything he doesn't want to. He hasn't before, has he? Why should he change now?
Get rteady to be mummy to a baby and a jealous older sibling. Or dump his arse out of your house and save a lot of cash and stress.

I wonder if OP will come back?

I say cocklodger too. Get rid.

Is this serious? What exactly does he pay for?

Why on earth would want to have a child with someone like this? You have bigger problems than having to pay for a bit of petrol, frankly that's the least of your worries.

Any thoughts op?!

This is about the time I lose patience and go for the Advance Search option to see what else the OP has posted about.

Blimey, he really isn't a keeper is he. First thing you do is stop buying his fags!!!!

These threads are so depressing. Why do women keep having children with these wastes of air. When they already know theyre useless at even supporting themselves! Who would think making him responsible for a child is a good idea? Who would inflict that as a parent on their child?

Because they want a baby?
Because any man is better than being alone?
Because their sense of self-worth and esteem is non-existent, and any attention makes them feel valid as humans, even when that attention is corrosive?
Fuck knows why.