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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why this mother has not been prosecuted for the death of child

225 replies

Marmotte3 · 10/10/2015 00:03

www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/he-wouldnt-settle-so-i-had-to-take-him-in-my-hands-while-driving-inquest-31595840.html

The article details the outcome of the inquest - death by misadventure. The father blames the airbag for killing the child but it is clear to me that it is the mother who is responsible for the death.

Maybe I'm wrong, I suppose it's possible there is a separate legal prosecution against her but it doesn't sound like it form the article.

OP posts:
mummymeister · 10/10/2015 00:10

and you don't think that the mother has suffered enough then. clearly you either don't have children or you have never lost a child. just goes to show that when I think people cant really be that heartless, something like this comes along. Marmotte3 - go upstairs to your bathroom and take a really long hard look in the mirror. appalling post. no wonder no one else has replied. do the decent thing. ask admin to remove it.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 00:11

It does seem bizarre that she's not being blamed for it. She would be responsible even if she was just holding him in the passenger's seat, but to decide to hold him when she was driving Shock and not taking any notice of the road either going on what the other driver said.

She's got a terrible punishment to live with though regardless.

Poor little lad.

steff13 · 10/10/2015 00:12

I think she should be prosecuted, but I'm a cold bitch when it comes to stuff like this. She took an unnecessary and illegal risk; there's no reason on earth to take a child out of its carseat in a moving vehicle.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 10/10/2015 00:13

So many legal inconsistencies though around care of children.

She made a poor decision and I am sure she regrets it but should it not be a prosecution, a message to others and the law being applied as it is just because she is already suffering?

ohtheholidays · 10/10/2015 00:14

What an awful thing to have happen.

The accident did from what they've reported happen because of the mother's actions,but I think the loss of her newborn son is enough of a punsihment as it is.I can't imagine she'll ever get over what has happened.

The fact that she removed the baby and carried on driving whilst holding him and was driving on the wrong side of the road would immediately make me think that she wasn't of sound mind at the time.

She could of being suffereing from sleep deprevation or she could have had PND or she could have had a really traumatic delivery,pregnancy or both and could have been suffering from PTSD.

I don't think anyone will ever be able to judge that poor women as much as she'smost probably been judging herself since that awful day.

I hope she and her family are getting all the support and understanding that they need.

MustBeLoopy390 · 10/10/2015 00:14

Yanbu, not a popular opinion but anyone stupid, imbecilic even, enough to hold their baby while driving shouldn't have that baby. It's a shame this ended with his death, poor little guy.

Fevertree · 10/10/2015 00:15

Oh my god horrific! Awful for all involved and do you really think a prosecution will help anyone?!

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 00:15

I've replied mummymeister, I can feel compassion for her and wonder WTF at the same time.

'go upstairs to your bathroom and take a really long hard look in the mirror.'

I presume the OP's an adult, no need to talk to her like a 5 year old (not that I'd ever say such a ridiculous thing to my 5 YO).

Mmmmcake123 · 10/10/2015 00:17

Don't think yabu just to wonder, but on reading the news article, not sure if prosecution of someone who did not have intention would benefit anyone. She could of course be made an example of, but again the fact that it has been nationally reported and even this discussion is example enough. She made a terribly ill judged mistake driving slowly on an avenue that had right of way and is paying the price already, she knows she is in the wrong. I don't think prosecution would help.

mummymeister · 10/10/2015 00:18

yes RJnomaaaaargh lets send a "message to others" and that message should be

Be perfect never do anything without thinking first.
Never make a mistake.
Never be so tired, desperate, unhappy or emotional that you suddenly have a complete brain freeze and do something so stupid it ends in the death of the most important person in your life.

go on, have a little self satisfied nod to yourselves about how perfect you are and how you would never do anything like this ever.

HerRoyalNotness · 10/10/2015 00:19

The only thing we can take from this, is too think before we act. It was a stupid decision on the part of the mother which directly contributed to her sons death.

There is no benefit charging her for manslaughter etc... As she will suffer this for the rest of her life. A life sentence of grieving, self blame and what if's. I wouldn't be surprised if it drove her mad.

Mmmmcake123 · 10/10/2015 00:21

HRHnot I agree

Mermaidhair · 10/10/2015 00:21

Child restraint laws are very strict in Aus. All children must be in the back seat and in an age appropriate restraint until they are 145cm. So my dd was in one until she was 6. I am fairly sure she would have been charged with manslaughter to as it is illegal to drive holding an infant. I understand it didn't happen in Aus but maybe there needs to be stricter laws for you. It seems like a completely unnecessary risk, and there is nothing that can excuse it. Poor baby.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 10/10/2015 00:21

Oh. For fucks sake there's not being perfect and theres putting a child in complete jeopardy.

The fact this has happened makes me think that the risks are not well known enough.

And even disregarding that, ignorance is no defence in law and neither is suffering from your own illegal actions.

May I point out this child suffered a damn sight more than the mother. It died.

TheSwallowingHandmaiden · 10/10/2015 00:22

Oh this woman is just unspeakably stupid and utterly responsible for the death of her child. Prison is pointless but my goodness she is blameworthy beyond recognition Sad

HerRoyalNotness · 10/10/2015 00:26

The child's suffering is over now RJ, the mother will suffer each and every single day, a life of mental anguish.

mummymeister · 10/10/2015 00:26

have you ever lost a child RJ? we have no idea what state this woman was in as this was a newborn. sleep deprivation leading to poor decision making? PND? its not about being perfect. I really worry about people who walk round with the "this could never happen to me" "I would never do this" attitude.

kungpopanda · 10/10/2015 00:28

The woman should be prosecuted. She can't have been in full control of the vehicle. As it happened it was her child that was killed, but it could have been someone else.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 10/10/2015 00:31

Please do not worry about me as there is absolutely no need but I absolutely cannot find any way in which I can absolve this woman from the fact which she committed a criminal act which resulted in the death of her child.

I must agree with mermaid here.

And i am pretty much one of the biggest bleeding heart liberals I know.

mummymeister · 10/10/2015 00:33

Her child is dead. every birthday, every Christmas, every anniversary, every time she sees a child in the street that looks the same, that is the same age hers would have been she will be prosecuted, not by being imprisioned or fined but because she would do anything to go back and change this.

I am just stunned by the complete lack of compassion.

multivac · 10/10/2015 00:33

I absolutely cannot find any way in which I can absolve this woman from the fact which she committed a criminal act which resulted in the death of her child

You poor thing. Well done for trying, though!

MidniteScribbler · 10/10/2015 00:34

She broke the law, a law which exists for a damned good reason. There is absolutely no excuse for taking a child out of a carseat and holding it while you drive. NONE. She alone is to blame and she needs to accept the appropriate punishment under the law.

HorribleMotherCo · 10/10/2015 00:34

I am sure the mother is suffering and I feel sorry for her but what about the child? The child, who was a separate entity with a right to a life just as much as his mother is, has lost his life. She took it away from him by her totally irresponsible, illegal actions and should be punished legally.

Any reasonable person would have pulled over to 'settle' him. This was a not a momentary lapse in judgement.

She should have been done for death by driving without due care and attention at least.

I can't imagine how this baby's sibling who was in car with them will feel about the mother when he's older Sad.

Mermaidhair · 10/10/2015 00:34

I have had pnd, I have had sleep deprivation, I have had traumatic news while driving, I have had 4 kids screaming in the back while driving. You pull the car over and put it in park. You deal with whatever the issue is, then and only then do you start driving again. There is making a small mistake and something horrible happening, and there is making a conscious decision to doing something to put your child in danger and then dying. Mummy , I don't know what your situation is, or if you have lost a precious child. But we are talking about this situation.

DixieNormas · 10/10/2015 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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