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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why this mother has not been prosecuted for the death of child

225 replies

Marmotte3 · 10/10/2015 00:03

www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/he-wouldnt-settle-so-i-had-to-take-him-in-my-hands-while-driving-inquest-31595840.html

The article details the outcome of the inquest - death by misadventure. The father blames the airbag for killing the child but it is clear to me that it is the mother who is responsible for the death.

Maybe I'm wrong, I suppose it's possible there is a separate legal prosecution against her but it doesn't sound like it form the article.

OP posts:
multivac · 10/10/2015 02:57

I'm confused as to why you feel more needs to happen to this woman, than has already happened.

Mermaidhair · 10/10/2015 02:57

Are you fucking serious?

ALassUnparalleled · 10/10/2015 02:58

She didn't kill anyone precious to anyone else, because it was a 'low impact, low speed collision'- and the only person not protected against that, was her child

What on earth is that supposed to mean? You seriously think she should escape any punishment because she killed her own children?

RJnomaaaaaargh · 10/10/2015 02:59

I suspect not mermaid.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 03:05

'Everyone's 'right to life' has an expiry date.'

What an odd thing to say.

Are you mistakenly thinking Logans Run is a documentary?

multivac · 10/10/2015 03:09

Of course I am serious. The 'right to life' is a John Lewis soundbite. 'Life' isn't a right - it's an accident. If I have a 'right to life', what happens when I'm 97 and my body gives up?

That child didn't have a 'right to life'. Its primary carer had a responsibility to care for it. And yes, she failed, terribly in that. With the worst possible consequences.

What do people, really, want to add to that?

RJnomaaaaaargh · 10/10/2015 03:12

Ducking wijaoedia can put it better than I can.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_life

You only need to read sentence 1.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 03:13

'The 'right to life' is a John Lewis soundbite.'

Hahahahaha Grin

Fuck me hahahahaha

Oh, you are a one multivac.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 03:13

I love Wiki.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 03:14

I think they'd do better changing their name to Wijaoedia though.

Mermaidhair · 10/10/2015 03:15

There is only one thing I would like to add or ask. Have you been smoking weed?

multivac · 10/10/2015 03:16

RJnomaaaaaargh

Ducking wijaoedia can put it better than I can

QED

RJnomaaaaaargh · 10/10/2015 03:18

Multi you have more than proved all you could which is around zero.

Apologies rest for typos.

multivac · 10/10/2015 03:18

I'm not a fan of 'rights' generally; knock yourselves out.

"Every child has a right to be fed, cared for and educated" - lovely. I'm sure someone else is onto it.

"Every human being has a responsibility to ensure that no child goes unfed; uncared for; uneducated" - fuck me. I have to do something...

captainproton · 10/10/2015 03:20

Unfortunately, at least in the UK there seem to be many parents/carers who can't be bothered to strap babies or young children in car seats. I have seen it time and again, at roundabouts, waiting in queues or on the motorway kids roaming around the back seat. Then there are those who for whatever reason use the wrong size seat, or fail to strap a child in tightly.

All this things will likely result in death or serious injury to a small child.

Perhaps they think it will never happen to them. Perhaps because they grew up without seat belts in cars they don't see the point.

Are we going to start prosecuting these people as well? or just the ones who have the accident and kill their child. I am sure the mother will be going through hell, traveller or not.

People still act irresponsibly around their children, dangerous dogs, smoking, not having smoke alarms, really early weaning, poor car safety, hot drinks or boiling kettles/pans in the reach of children. Where do we draw the line?

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2015 03:25

As multivac has no right to be heard I can't for the life of me fathom why anyone's still listening.

multivac · 10/10/2015 03:30

Maybe they're not, AZz. Maybe it's just you and me... in a deep, dark forest where all the rules have got terribly confused...

Mermaidhair · 10/10/2015 03:30

Yes, definitely you should be prosecuting drivers who don't have kids restrained. I googled and it looks like UK has similar child seat laws. Why aren't these parents being prosecuted? It is scary Caotain if this is something you see all of the time.

Canyouforgiveher · 10/10/2015 03:36

Is it just mothers who get all this understanding or do other criminals get it too?

how do you know she wasn't mentally ill? Sleep deprived? Ad infinitum? You have no idea and you knock me sick.

Couldn't you ask these questions that about a lot of crimes for which people are charged and convicted?

I don't see any point in putting this woman in prison but I do think pretending that it was within the range of normal behaviour is ridiculous. I have been distraught/depressed/sleep deprived/angry/stressed and have still never released a baby from his seat.

The woman made a really really awful decision. Many criminals would say the same - I just made an awful decision because I was poor/tired/stressed/from a bad background etc. Why don't they get the same understanding?

How would you feel if she had done this exactly as stated and crashed into your car with your children in it - unrestrained as you were having a bad day - and killed them? Would you be so understanding then?

I don't think she should serve time. I do think saying "this could happen to anyone" is just pure bollocks.

Senpai · 10/10/2015 04:17

She should be prosecuted according to the law, and her feelings shouldn't come into it. By saying she's "punished enough" ignores the fact that this baby was a human in his own right. He was an individual human, not just an extension of mom or her property. He deserves justice according to the law, just like an older child or adult would.

MH issues shouldn't mitigate it either. If she had PND it's her responsibility to get it taken care of at the very least. But even so, this isn't a case of forgetfulness or careless impulse. She had to deliberately unbuckle the baby, take him out, and hold him... while driving.

That's willful determination to put that child's life in danger and it needs to be addressed.

differentnameforthis · 10/10/2015 04:37

PND? its not about being perfect. I really worry about people who walk round with the "this could never happen to me" "I would never do this" attitude.

Can we please stop blaming PND? My friend had horrific PND, not once did she put her child in danger. I hate how it is always trotted out on threads like this, yet if it were the father, we'd want him hung, drawn & quartered. The mother made an horrific error. Yes, she is to blame because the baby may still be alive had she not done it. I know that she is suffering unbelievable pain right now, but that pain is because of a choice she made.

That doesn't make me perfect for pointing that out.

If she was excessively tired, emotional or anything else, she shouldn't have been driving in the first place. She took a massive risk. Her baby died.

She didn't kill anyone precious to anyone else I disagree. There are 2 families to whom that baby was precious. Her family , and the baby's father's family. Or don't those people matter?

Tram10 · 10/10/2015 05:15

This, exactly the reason

It's really sad and horrible but I think part of the reluctance to prosecute is the fact that the lady in question is a Traveller. Anyone who lives in rural Ireland will tell you how common it is for Travellers to drive with their kids up front of the van or car without a seatbelt-I've seen kids on the back of an open truck like it was the 1970s -but there's also a powerful rights lobby which makes people reluctant to get involved in litigation or prosecutions. I wish that wasn't a factor in this story but there's no doubt that it is.

CatMilkMan · 10/10/2015 06:03

Christ alive, I read the first and last page of this thread.

Yanbu OP.

Spartans · 10/10/2015 06:50

She should have been prosecuted. The trauma of her child dying and/or mental health should have been taken into account at sentencing.

A crime was committed. It's not that difficult.

Babytookacupwoo · 10/10/2015 07:03

I think I'd hold back on the assumption she was depressed or sleep deprived. I have been shocked by seeing a couple of people I know do this (not whilst driving admittedly but as a passenger) it's not something I would even think to do but it seems like not everyone is the same and would rather comfort their child then ensure their car safety on occasion