Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about Star of the bloody day

163 replies

JessePinkman33 · 08/10/2015 19:28

Or rather how can I convince youngest dd in yr4 not to be unreasonable about it?
She's desperate to get it & some kids have had it twice, she's quiet & conscientious (teachers words) but the children who regularly get sent to the headmistress get it for good behaviour on that particular day. So I can see where she's coming from, I hate the bloody thing but I want her to give up caring about it preferably...

OP posts:
BlueJug · 08/10/2015 19:48

Hated it too. DS ever got it. Horrible and v unhelpful

BrandNewAndImproved · 08/10/2015 19:49

Mention it at parents evening and I'm sure the teacher will sort it.

crumblybiscuits · 08/10/2015 19:50

YANBU. I still remember getting it the last day of the year as I was the only one the teacher hadn't given it to/didn't like. Blush Horrid memory.

BolshierAryaStark · 08/10/2015 19:51

Yep, have a word with the teacher-this isn't how it should be awarded. Happened last year in DD's class, it's very irritating.

MyCatHasStaff · 08/10/2015 19:55

When DS was in Y4, I mentioned he hadn't had the class award for a while, and he replied that he hadn't been naughty enough...
I work in a school now, and still hate star of the day/week whatever.

goawayalready · 08/10/2015 19:59

yy star of the week is always given to the child who is naughty the prev week or whose parent has helped in the PTA the most one year a child had it twice mine didn't have it once apparently he got missed because he was so quiet

i hate this shit im glad when they hit high school

Thatpoorpig · 08/10/2015 20:00

ThIs is going to sound miserable, and is maybe indicative of my mood now, but...

There are those that get noticed and acknowledged and those that don't. My experience is that this starts with sodding star of the day aged 4 and continues for the rest of our lives.

I think those that go unnoticed/unacknowledged must either find comfort in our own inner happiness and confidence and be comfortable to go unnoticed, or we need to become extraordinary and make ourselves noticed,

Some people just always seem to get these things and often there's no obvious reason why, perhaps it's that charisma thing.

Or perhaps I am being miserable and pessimistic.

Original poster
JessePinkman33 · 08/10/2015 20:02

If I mention it to the teacher she will no doubt get it straight away Hmm and I'll be labelled that parent, I've got through 4 of them without becoming that!
I just want to teach her not to care
Oh god mycat that just sums it up doesn't it Grin

OP posts:
Murfles · 08/10/2015 20:04

Star of the day was something I stopped as soon as I came into post in my present school. We also don't have weekly stars. I prefer to have a house points system which works well and an assembly once a month where achievements are rewarded. Star of the day causes far too much angst for some children in my view.

clam · 08/10/2015 20:06

"is always given to the child .... whose parent has helped in the PTA the most"

That is SUCH a lazy f*ing cliche. Makes my blood boil. It's up there with who gets the main parts in the plays. Absolute bollocks.

CalleighDoodle · 08/10/2015 20:07

Id say something as it is so important to some children. I ensure it is a different child everytime, but they do het it for a real reason (although sometimes i have to search hard for that reason!)

Original poster
JessePinkman33 · 08/10/2015 20:08

I don't think she lacks charisma in fact she's very funny, she's also a champion swimmer & a maths whizz so there's plenty to stand out about. but...she's very good does exactly what she's told & doesn't need telling twice which I'm proud of but yes I suppose doesn't need any extra attention. Perhaps I will try a different tack & tell her those kids need It more to feel motivated. But then isn't that doing them down? Please teacher just get rid of the damn thing

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 08/10/2015 20:08

A male teacher where i worked gave it to the same few children all the time. Why? Because he was too lazy to either keep a record or actually think about it.

Murfles · 08/10/2015 20:09

That is SUCH a lazy f*ing cliche. Makes my blood boil. It's up there with who gets the main parts in the plays. Absolute bollocks.

This used to happen in the school when I came into post.......it was stopped. It does happen.

CalleighDoodle · 08/10/2015 20:10

Honestly gently ask the teacher about it. it might prmot her memory.

SaucyJack · 08/10/2015 20:11

Are you in England?

Give it a chance. We've only been back a month.

But if you were posting this in June, then I'd agree with you.

clam · 08/10/2015 20:14

"It does happen."

I just don't believe that, I'm afraid. I've been teaching for nearly 30 years, and have never come across a single teacher to whom it would even occur. I couldn't even tell you which parents are in the bloody PTA, actually.

BabyGanoush · 08/10/2015 20:16

give it time.

Or tell DD to ask the teacher, in a nice way, like "Miss, i would love to be star of the week one day. What would I need to do to get it? help you more? work harder?"

That's the attitude my DS2 takes, and it gets him places (he asks this sort of thing very nicely, not entitled or demanding, but as a genuine question)

You could tell her if she wants it, she needs to put herself in the teacher's mind.

Maryz · 08/10/2015 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Murfles · 08/10/2015 20:22

I just don't believe that, I'm afraid. I've been teaching for nearly 30 years, and have never come across a single teacher to whom it would even occur. I couldn't even tell you which parents are in the bloody PTA, actually.

I've taught for 26 years. HT for 12 of those. I've seen it in 3 schools over my teaching years. As I said, I stopped it when I came into my present post. It became clear the same children's names were being given awards, parts in shows, monitors positions, and oddly enough, winning class competitions. There was a stony silence from the PTA when things were done fairly. Yes, it happens unfortunately.

KittyLovesPaintingOhYes · 08/10/2015 20:23

Must be doing pta wrong, haven't seen a star in years

Zetetic · 08/10/2015 20:27

Maryz. That is so true. Grin Same happens in secondary school.

The well behaved hard working quiet ones - zilch.

The vocal extroverts or badly behaved but reformed ones gets the rewards.

laffymeal · 08/10/2015 20:32

Every Friday morning we have this scenario.

P7 child comes to the door..."Do you have your Pupil of the Week Certificate for Assembly Mrs Laffymeal?"

Me: "Give me 5 minutes"

Cue frantic running around trying to find the PSA and ask her who's done anything particularly memorable this week.

PSA says "give it to X..they haven't had it yet"

Me: "I need a reason"

PSA ponders..."err, their handwriting was pretty good, how bout that".

Me: "We always say handwriting"

PSA "Er, kind in the playground?"

Me: "That'll do"

Rinse and repeat.

Star/Pupil of the Week is a bag of bollocks OP.

Sighing · 08/10/2015 20:34

Confused It drpends on the teacher awarding it. My daughter (diligent, helpful, bright - a pleasure to teach say all her teachers). Has had star of the whatever about 3 times in 7 years, she's fine with that as they've been for really really working hard. I don't PTA. But last year I worked in the school. Cringingly the head in a parent assembly questioned her teacher why she hadn't put her forward for some random award. I was Blush for the teacher as I knew she was trying to not hand out those awards early in the term ... but the head is the suck up sort. 4 rows of parents glaring at me ffs.

LooseAtTheSeams · 08/10/2015 20:36

It's the same with vivo points in high school. You do a stunning piece of work and get a point. You have a reputation for storming out of class and then manage to sit still for ten minutes and get 50! Luckily DS1 doesn't pay any attention or he might get the wrong idea!
We got star of the week at the end of. Y2. DS2 shared it with the other kid who'd been ignored all year!