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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about Star of the bloody day

163 replies

JessePinkman33 · 08/10/2015 19:28

Or rather how can I convince youngest dd in yr4 not to be unreasonable about it?
She's desperate to get it & some kids have had it twice, she's quiet & conscientious (teachers words) but the children who regularly get sent to the headmistress get it for good behaviour on that particular day. So I can see where she's coming from, I hate the bloody thing but I want her to give up caring about it preferably...

OP posts:

Zetetic · 08/10/2015 23:09

I'll tell that to my very respectable mother.

I wonder what happened to those other hamsters.

Zetetic · 08/10/2015 23:10

sorry gerbils.

Mmmmcake123 · 08/10/2015 23:16

The lo with the drug addled parent probably would have told the whole story anyway. It's a tricky one as all pupils are supposed to be given a chance. I was surprised they still did it. The teacher told my friend they were on at least the 9th one that year. I think it was round April or May, don't really get the point

Ilovetorrentialrain · 08/10/2015 23:19

Reni2: 'At 5 many suspected it was bollocks, at 7 every last child knew it was.'

Sums it up perfectly!

Mmmmcake123 · 08/10/2015 23:23

I agree torrential. A lot of parents do go for it tho, maybe it depends on the school. Only a couple of weeks ago I went in to work and a colleague had taken the whole family out the night before to celebrate as one of her four had got star of the day. They are all really good and mum seemed to know it was token/just her turn but they went all out for it anyway

CharityBarnum · 08/10/2015 23:24

Mmmmcake123 · 08/10/2015 23:28

Party on I say

CharityBarnum · 08/10/2015 23:30

Poor little creatures.

In my NQT year I had a hero mentor who raised chicks from eggs on the art table. Amazing. She came in at all times of day and night (driving twenty miles from home) to sort the incubator out. Left after the first OFSTED in the nineties. A real loss to the profession

moveon · 08/10/2015 23:38

I can just about cope with star of the flipping week, but star of the DAY!!

jamtartandcustard · 08/10/2015 23:41

last year my ds barely got it but so far this year he's had it 4 times! very proud mummy. he has AEN and it really boosts up his confidence and makes him want to try really hard at school. i love that there is an award for just working hard and trying his best as opposed to doing exceptional work (there's a head teachers award for exceptional work).
it really does depend on the teacher awarding it though. as i said last year he barely got it at all even though his behaviour and attitude was exactly the same

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/10/2015 23:42

Wow charity I full agree she certainly is a loss to the profession. What a dedicated amazing teacher.
I"m melting now thinking about adorable inquizative mischievous fluffy baby chicks. Oh baby animals. I could eeeeeeeat and squeeeeeeze them.

DontStopBelievin · 08/10/2015 23:47

Well, it must just be all your schools being crap and doing it wrong then, as ours distributes the stars of the week fairly and everyone ends up getting it at some point.

pebbletime · 08/10/2015 23:58

I remember being a parent helper on a school trip to a Country House.
The CHouse employee who was showing us around was given a roll of stickers by the teacher, a specific child was pointed out, and she was told to 'pick him' when it came to questions.
That child, and ONLY that child was given stickers that day.
I queried it (as did the CH person) and the teacher (who had the grace to look embarrassed) said: 'that's what the Head told me to do'.
I asked the Head, who said: 'if you want stickers for your child mrspebbletime then you can buy them in Tescos and supply them to school like Chosenchild's parents did.'
Chosenchild's parents were prominent local people who were on PTA and drove past 3 other schools to get to our 'good' one, thus feeding the (megalomanic) Heads ego.
Chosenchild was a brat with no friends. They were doing him no favours.

LaLyra · 09/10/2015 00:21

The PTA thing was true in one school I worked in. That said it was a dire school in terms of the SMT. The Head was awful, no idea why she wanted to be there because she appeared to despise children and despise teachers.

Another one had a sort of culture for it, mainly with the children of two very vocal governors who were a nightmare. Then a new head came in and all changed. I do think the effectiveness of a lot of reward systems depends on the leadership in the school.

I worked with one teacher who point blank refused to be involved with 'star of the week' and that sort of thing. The Head despaired of her, but her system of gold stars (that she pointed out had been working for many years) actually did work. The only person the children were 'competing' against was their total for the week before so they weren't negatively impacted by the other kids, but could earn more for working better/being nicer etc. It was a good system and worked in her class.

manicinsomniac · 09/10/2015 00:40

Ugh, I hate star of the week (never heard of star of the DAY - what a stress!)

Last September my Year 5 form asked me id we could do star of the week.

I said no because:

they were too old
I only taught a few of them so only saw the majority for a few minutes a day (we have a secondary school style curriculum and they travel around to subject specialists rather than having a class teacher)

3) I couldn't be bothered with it

Fast forward to April and I got an email from a concerned parent. Her child hadn't been awarded Star of the Week yet and she felt that it was only certain popular/clever/well behaved children who were getting chosen and was concerned that I was favouring the girls.

I was very

Turned out a group of very dominant dynamic and enterprising little girls had taken it upon themselves to do Star of the Week off their own bat. They made little certificates every week and gave out haribo - and I never knew!!

I hate it even more now!

TheNewStatesman · 09/10/2015 07:02

Isn't handing out stars a bit babyish for Year 4? I would have died of embarassment.

Spartans · 09/10/2015 07:03

Dds first primary had this. Df was really upset when the the child that gave her a black eye (on purpose) got the star of the week for being kind.

I did question it. I was told he got it because he managed not to punch anyone else on Thursday and Friday. She even admitted it was an award to try and encourage the kids that they struggle with. I pointed out that it was an award most kids couldn't get, even though they were told they could. It doesn't encourgae good behaviour. It rewards occasionally behaving themseleves. Personally I find schools who use this as a reward for not being naughty are usually a bit rubbish at dealing with the behaviour in general.

TheNewStatesman · 09/10/2015 07:04

Does it actually encourage the kids with behavioral issues? I mean, it sounds like most of the kids know this is bollocks. So why do it at all?

Greengardenpixie · 09/10/2015 08:49

It actually does encourage kids but stickers or star of the week would be pretty ineffective the higher up in school you go so the reward needs to be appropriate. Awards/rewards can be offered in different ways such as extra golden time or giving children responsibilities etc.. All children inherently wish to please parents/teachers etc.

Unreasonablebetty · 09/10/2015 08:51

I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one who's child feels a bit like they aren't naughty enough, and We both feel kind of let down by the star of the week system.
Last year was a toughie for us, there was bullying and my DD hated school with a passion, each day she would make excuses not to go, she would feign illnesses, she would hide bits of clothing trying to hold off going to school, therefore we were late for much of the time, she refused to read or do homework because she hated school.
This year things are better, things got better towards the last half of the year anyway, but this year she has not been late once, and she reads every night, her homework is done, her spellings and times tables are all practiced and she even has a ks2 book that we found that she's working through at home, which she takes in to show her teacher what she's done.
She is also well behaved, and helpful, she spends much of her time helping teachers.
She is aiming to be a star of the week, because she missed out last year- I told her where she needed to improve. Which she has done, so far the children who have been awarded star of the week are the naughty children who have behaved slightly better.

MythicalKings · 09/10/2015 09:16

I'm a teacher, I've also been a governor and I sometimes used to help out in school.

Every time DS1 or DS2 got one of the awards it was always, "because of who his mum is". Bullshit.

The other kids would hear this at home or the gate and repeat it to DSs.

They got them because they were bright, co-operative, helpful DCs but the cows at the gate always made them feel they were undeserved.

Nice.

MischiefInTheWind · 09/10/2015 09:22

The teacher needs to keep a checklist, the award becomes meaningless if it's not done fairly.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 09/10/2015 09:25

One day towards the end of reception dd's teacher called me over and said that she had been misbehaving in class which was unusual for her and was anything happening at home. I called dd over and asked her. She said that she had noticed that children got to take home manky soft toy at the end of the week if they had been naughty previously but then behaved well. As she hadn't yet had the toy and wanted it she had decided to be naughty for a little while and then be good. The teacher was a bit taken aback but promised that she would be the next person to take it home.

I hate learning/ star/ queen of the week/ day/ decade. Children don't always have a concept of why others might have different abilities, they have little concept of time. Also they don't always remember that they were king of the learning lucky wonderful sun of the gaxaxy and universe for the week in week 2 for packing away the toys well, which is why now in week 8 even though their picture of a spider catching a wasp was just as good as Sammy's picture of a snail eating a leaf it is Sammy's turn. That's even when it is fair and they rotate the awards, let alone when they are used to reward a child for not hitting someone.

I like the idea more of competing against yourself as long as the teacher is able to monitor small improvements in quieter children. House points are ok, at least they are little and often, but even so I can see that my most able & confident child racks up points faster than the others because he makes the teachers notice him and his achievements, even though he doesn't need to put any effort in.

AngryBeaver · 09/10/2015 09:37

Yep, the naughty kids get it a lot. Positive reinforcement. Bit gutting for those kids who actually work really hard and are well behaved!
My kids come to me and tell me that X screamed and had huge paddy in class told teacher he hated them and wouldn't do what he had been asked etc then at assembly, there he is being awarded "most improved pupil" hmmmm. (Disclaimer, I know this particular X and he is an only child whose parents never ever say no!)

AngryBeaver · 09/10/2015 09:42

I've worked in tons of schools (behaviour support) Totally happens. As does giving the main parts to same children. People have favourites. Can't be that hard to believe surely?

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