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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to (metaphorically) slap this child?

176 replies

Narnia72 · 06/10/2015 22:16

I take my 3 kids (7,5,3) for swimming lessons all at the same time. Bit of a bun fight, but gets it all out of the way on one evening. However, changing the 3 of them together after swimming when they're cold and tired is always a nightmare. The 7 and 5 year old can dress themselves but they've had an hour of gymnastics before and so I usually help to hurry them up as otherwise it takes forever. The 3 year old needs help and they all need help to wash their hair.

At our swimming pool the changing room is communal. There are lots of individual cubicles, 2 group changing rooms and 1 large family/disabled room with a shower in.

I can't fit us all into the individual cubicles, and sometimes the group rooms are locked. So, if possible, I try to use the large changing room. If it's not available often we end up changing in the public area, not ideal but easier than trying to have children all over the place. Anyway, for the last 4 weeks, this 8 yr old girl has been desperate to change in the big room. The first week she literally raced us to the changing room, I asked her if she'd mind if we used it and she shut the door on us! The next 2 weeks my girls got out a bit early and we got in there before her. She was livid and gave us what I can only describe as an evil eye both times (she was standing with her mum drying her hair where we came out).

This week the girls finished 10 minutes before the main lessons (private lesson ). The room was free so I started changing them then left them there to get my little boy (in group lessons). When I got back she and her mum were standing outside the changing room looking apoplectic. I said "excuse me" and knocked on the door for the girls to let me in. I could hear her practically tantruming outside and the mother saying "well you should have got out earlier." When I came out, they were both standing outside waiting for the room. The girl still dripping wet. As I came out she very rudely said "finally" and flounced past. I said "excuse me, that's a very rude thing to say". I was gobsmacked, both that they'd waited 10 minutes to access a changing room and that she was being so rude. The mum asked me what she said and then replied, quite sarcastically "well she's not good at waiting". Then went into the room. The other mums who saw the exchange were WTF???!

I don't want to compete for a room. If she gets or anyone else gets iin there first we absolutely will manage. I'm not precious, it just makes my life easier. But if she was my child, first of all I'd make her apologise for being rude to an adult, and secondly I'd be explaining that the family rooms are for families who need them and we can manage quite well in an individual cubicle. Child was NT as far as I could see; I am aware that she may have hidden issues. However, tbh she comes across as Verruca Salt! And if you were the mum and there were issues, wouldn't you at least apologise for your child's rudeness if you thought getting them to apologise wasn't going to work?

I feel like nipping in there before they all finish next week and shoving our stuff in, and putting a sign saying "yah boo, sucks to you" on the door. Would that be terribly childish??

OP posts:
Floppy5885 · 06/10/2015 23:07

She just sounds spoilt to me, like her mum

Mmmmcake123 · 06/10/2015 23:19

Slap her (metaphorically of course), go on do it, do it, do it!!!!
One of my DD friends was simply the most annoying ever at that age. Could give loads of examples as she always bombarded everything but one I remember most was her being at my dd's party and b4 my DD had even got the paper off her gift which was some sort of a game, she was declaring like a foghorn, I'm pink, I'm pink, wanted to kill her (oh dear, think I must have issues) but I just said very firmly, 'it's not your birthday, you don't get to choose'. Her mum was my boss at the time which made life hard.

Mmmmcake123 · 06/10/2015 23:23

My point is, you don't know why she is behaving in this way, so either tell mum or the supervisor on shift and let them deal with it. Then sit back and be proud of your lovely ones and how lucky you are that everything is going well Smile

Original poster
Narnia72 · 06/10/2015 23:24

Thanks all. It is slightly disconcerting to be given evils by a random 8 year old, I don't hate her, just think she's being a complete brat and am annoyed that her mum didn't acknowledge she'd behaved badly.

Of course I'm not going to engage in undignified races;if all else fails I'll change them by the mirrors. As I said, it's not a deal breaker. I was just gobsmacked the woman let her child get away with such rudeness. Honestly, I obviously don't know, but from the mum's reaction I really think it was just brattishness. When the child was tantruming the mum was telling her off for not being quick enough, not trying to pacify and stem a meltdown. When the girl was rude the mum was pretty much equally rude. I have a couple of friends with children with hidden issues, and when their children are struggling with their behaviour in public they usually try to calm their children down and are clearly concerned. They don't feel the need to explain, but, as I thought most parents do, take responsibility for their children's behaviour in public.

The long rant was just the result of a particularly hard day today and I was ready to snap before being confronted by this.

Whoever asked about the metaphorical slap, maybe imaginary would have been a better word. I just didn't want to be accused of potential violent actions! I'm not that out of control...yet....

The suggestion about loudly saying about my girls being grown up enough to use changing rooms on their own is a good one. I may well say it loudly and promise not to trip her up as she sprints to get "her" room Grin

Thanks all, I have found my grip and will be using it next Tuesday.

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 06/10/2015 23:25

I would be delighted that she was someone else's problem. I would also not be hair washing in public pools - it's stressful enough with 3 young kids, why set the level of challenge higher than it has to be?

IguanaTail · 06/10/2015 23:26

When the girl was rude the mum was pretty much equally rude

Well, that's her role model. You're surprised because you don't behave like that. I would be surprised with a rude mother if the daughter was really polite. (Although I have seen it...)

Original poster
Narnia72 · 06/10/2015 23:27

I thought about telling the supervisor today, but thought it was probably overkill. The staff there are fairly apathetic tbh!

OP posts:
Original poster
Narnia72 · 06/10/2015 23:32

Mmmcake - everything is not, unfortunately, going well, which is probably why this wound me up. And sadly, although my children wouldn't be allowed to get away with that behaviour, they're no angels and moaned all the way through getting dressed, which didn't help my mood.

Iguana - I've done it both ways, and it's marginally easier to wash them at the pool if I get the family room. By the time we get home and have tea its 7pm and I'd rather not have bath time on top as they take forever. But will if necessary x

OP posts:
Mmmmcake123 · 06/10/2015 23:42

I hope you achieve a resolution that fits. Wishing you well; a lot of mums wouldn't put up with the hassle. Don't forget to congratulate yourself on doing this for your lo's. Swimming pool changing rooms are a stressful environment Star

Mmmmcake123 · 06/10/2015 23:45

BTW when I said put up with the hassle, I meant some parents don't take their kids swimming as it is often a bit of hard work. Sorry, hope that now makes more sense Confused

PaulAnkaTheDog · 07/10/2015 00:05

Again, what is a metaphorical slap?!

IguanaTail · 07/10/2015 00:06

It's not a real one?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 07/10/2015 00:10

Ok, New meaning for metaphor!

zzzzz · 07/10/2015 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSwallowingHandmaiden · 07/10/2015 00:31

Could your three-year-old accidentally leave a nice steaming poo on the floor of the changing room? Just before the devil child goes in?

anklebitersmum · 07/10/2015 00:38

The mum asked me what she said and then replied, quite sarcastically "well she's not good at waiting".

cue "Or MANNERS." and that'd be on a good day

Nothing more frustrating than a cheeky brat and their Mother on top of an already long day.

I recommend summoning up appropriate images 'Reginald Perrin' style and 'Whooo saaaaah-ing' whilst rubbing ear lobes (not least as you feel so silly you can't help but smile especially when your lot join in ) Grin

IguanaTail · 07/10/2015 00:45

theswallowing - that could well be the start of world war 3!

sandgrown · 07/10/2015 00:51

I had a similar situation with a boy at our,swimming pool. He even started leaving his clothes in the changing room (not allowed) before the lesson. One day I just moved them to one side and he had to wait while I dressed my children. He was just a brat!

zzzzz · 07/10/2015 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoreenLethal · 07/10/2015 07:11

Go to reception and get a key for the group room.

Gwynfluff · 07/10/2015 07:20

Just a thought - if the group changing rooms are locked, it that the only shower available?

If so, I can see she might want to nip in for a shower before you shower 3 kids - assume, as well, her mum wants her to shower after the pool and before bed.

I'd ask for the group rooms to be opened if that's the only shower available. They might even have asked before and been told to shower in the family room.

PeopleLieActionsDont · 07/10/2015 07:22

I think that if your kids come across as rude then as a parent you should explain, if there is a genuine reason. Otherwise people will just consider them to be brattish.
If the mum was nice and polite I'd be more inclined to think the child was not nt. But as the mum is rude as well, I thibk it's more likely that the child is just badly brought up and spoilt.

zzzzz · 07/10/2015 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PennyHasNoSurname · 07/10/2015 07:57

Honestly Id swap to a different day. Gymnastics prior and they dont get dinner that day til 7pm? They must be exhausted! And you.

And no 8yo.

OurBlanche · 07/10/2015 08:10

If a metaphor is a figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance

Then a metaphorical slap is a slap that is not literally applicable to the subject... so it would be a slap OP cannot apply to the proper little madame, in order for her, OP, to resemble an adult withholding said slap.

Is that OK, Paul? Smile

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