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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder at this age gap

159 replies

Phonebox · 05/10/2015 14:56

I've been flirting outrageously with a just-turned 22 year old man. I'm 29. He would like things to get a bit more serious and see me regularly...as a girlfriend, I suppose.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 05/10/2015 15:09

If you are single and he is single, then no YANBU.
7 years is not a massive age gap. I have two friends who are married to younger men. One us 7 years older and the other 13 years older.
You will find out if he is mature enough for you. If you don't go for it you never will find out.

WallToWallBastards · 05/10/2015 15:09

You're both adults, the age gap isn't that massive, go for it. No one would bat an eyelid if it was the other way round.

x2boys · 05/10/2015 15:09

Its only seven years if you like him and he likes you why not just see how it goes?

EponasWildDaughter · 05/10/2015 15:50

Isn't the rule of thumb half your age + 7?

So for him that's 28. You pass OP! Grin

EponasWildDaughter · 05/10/2015 15:51

Mind you, some 22 year old men are still very immature.

laffymeal · 05/10/2015 15:55

No that rule would be 18 making the op 10 years beyond it.

LemonySmithit · 05/10/2015 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatTeethKeith · 05/10/2015 17:54

Meh. Dh was 24 when we got together. I was 36. Grin

Indole · 05/10/2015 17:59

I am nearly 7 years older than my husband. We've been together 18 years (since he was 22). YANBU.

Crispbutty · 05/10/2015 18:31

I'm 45 and my long term partner is 33. We have a fantastic relationship and the age difference is not something that we ever think about. It works very well for us.

lljkk · 05/10/2015 18:34

I got together with DH when I was 29 & he was 22.

honeyroar · 05/10/2015 18:41

I'm the bad news! I was with a 21 yr old man when I was 29, we were together for 5 years, bought a house, got engaged, but it failed when I was in my mid 30s and he was still a kid really. I grew up, he didn't (and fair enough really).

BackInTheRealWorld · 05/10/2015 18:44

It depends, is he a good shag?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/10/2015 18:53

Maybe it's a question of mental age, a young or old outlook can really affect how well you get on.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 18:55

I had a 5 year relationship with a guy 15 yrs older than me and a fling with a guy 16 yrs younger than me - it's just a number don't restrict yourself Grin

Therewasanoldladywho · 05/10/2015 18:55

2 people tried to set me up with someone who was 5 years younger then me and I kept refusing, simply because I thought he was too young for me. We ended up getting married after 7 months dating and have a ds and a dd on the way Smile

YANBU just try it, you never know!

MinecraftWonder · 05/10/2015 19:01

Different strokes, but definitely not for me.

Personally I wouldn't like to go out with anyone younger than me.

A year or two maybe, no more. For age gaps of 15 years or more - I can't help it, I just find it creepy. Whichever sexed partner is the oldest.

I can imagine the conversations - 'Hey, remember that time when you were 21 and I was 6?'.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 19:02

I was 30 when I met him - we were both grown adults Hmm

EddieStobbart · 05/10/2015 19:13

My friend has her first DC when she was 34 - her partner was 23. She's 43 now and they are about to have their third. Other friends - one seven year gap, another eight years. In both cases the woman is the older and the relationships are committed (married) with DCs.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 05/10/2015 19:43

8 nearly 9 years between me and DH. Sometimes he will come out with "ooh do you remember when this song came out? It was 2000, I was 18!" And i won't remember because I was 10, and he feels old and cringey. But he's getting the last laugh, I'm going grey and wizened and he looks as fresh faced as he did 15 years ago from photo evidence

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/10/2015 19:47

Two sets of friends have that sort of age gap, that way round. Both sets very happily married and each have a couple of children. I say, go for it, not a problem.

MrsMook · 05/10/2015 19:47

10 years between me and DH. We've been together 14 years. We sometimes get odd looks as he's gone grey early although his face is young, and I'm small and young looking so people assume that the gap is bigger. Having DCs has helped.

Our friends have 14 years between them.

MinecraftWonder · 05/10/2015 19:50

Weathergames, i'm not disputing that.

I can't help how I feel about it...I just personally would find it offputting and can't imagine wanting a relationship with someone so vastly different in age. 15 years plus is a different generation pretty much.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 05/10/2015 19:51

Age is only a number. That said, I don't think I could ever be with a younger man -older yes,that's kinda typical, but men tend to mature slower than women and I see nothing 'manly' in a guy in his 20's at my age.

Although a friend of mine met and married a guy in his 20's and is very happy with him despite worrying about his age to start with.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 05/10/2015 19:52

I've been flirting outrageously with a just-turned 22 year old man.

I thought you were going to say 40, not 29. Why woman that is no age gap at all, my limit was always +-10 years

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