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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder at this age gap

159 replies

Phonebox · 05/10/2015 14:56

I've been flirting outrageously with a just-turned 22 year old man. I'm 29. He would like things to get a bit more serious and see me regularly...as a girlfriend, I suppose.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 06/10/2015 02:26

Beautiful DS - dad 22 years younger...

Different race too! :-)

I've always been different to the main stream

Grin
corlette · 06/10/2015 02:51

Not even the derailment about mrdaddypig can distract me from 'saggy at 34'. Shock I was at my best at 34, romping along Australian beaches in my bikini with gay abandon.

OP, if you're happy, he's happy, then there's no more to be said. Age difference doesn't matter between two consenting adults who like each other. It's no one's business but their own.

Actually I've never romped with gay abandon along Australian beaches, I've walked sensibly. But that doesn't sound as exciting, carefree and non saggy does it?

MinecraftWonder · 06/10/2015 08:20

You're something else fullduty. I assume you're on a wind up as no one could possibly be that stupid.

OhBigHairyBollocks · 06/10/2015 08:40

You are something else fullduty Shock I was 18/19 when I first slept with DH. He was nearly 40. Does that make him a controlling paedophile? Shock

KatieLatie · 06/10/2015 08:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Phonebox · 06/10/2015 09:53

Just to lower the tone a bit, we haven't quite shagged yet but my God he is so hard in a way my older partners haven't been. And very energetic. And er, can talk dirty for England.

I'm sold for now Grin

OP posts:
TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 06/10/2015 10:25

Wow, Fullduty I don't understand why your posts haven't been removed yet given what you are calling another member!

I'm pretty sure he didn't 'steal' anything his wife didn't want to give...

SolidGoldBrass · 06/10/2015 16:09

I think that relationships between a young woman and a much older man can go badly wrong in that the two of them can get stuck in a dynamic of him being top dog because he's wealther, more experience, the grown-up in the relationship - and there are some older men (usually the sort who were once nearly successful at something, or are currently doing well in their chosen field but out of luck rather than skill) who will only date young women because young women are easier to impress and/or control. This can also be the case with an older woman/younger man dynamic sometimes.

Having said that, this sort of issue really only starts up if one or both wants to make the relationships serious and longterm. Partners of different age groups are great fun for a friendly fling, as you can each learn something from one another.

fulldutypaid · 07/10/2015 13:44

Because in my eyes that's what he is. Im not sure how many people who have a 16 year old daughter would welcome a much older man embarking on a relationship with her. Im sure they would be horrified.

And what Solid said.

grannycake · 07/10/2015 13:52

I was 24 and my DH 18 whn we got together. That was 34 years ago and we're still together

3phase · 07/10/2015 13:55

I was 27 when I met DH. He was 20. I'm 37 now and he's 30. Still together! Good luck!

Nottodaythankyouorever · 07/10/2015 14:00

Because in my eyes that's what he is

Just because you think it, doesn't make it true!!!

JacquesHammer · 07/10/2015 14:03

Someone being a predator isn't exclusive to age. Hounding someone, controlling them isn't limited to very young women.

As Jorah said in a situation where two ADULTS (as defined by law) meet with a mutual interest, there's an attraction and they get together isn't predatory.

My boyfriend is 12 years older than me. He doesn't suffer from age Grin I'm mid 30s. He's latish 40s

squoosh · 07/10/2015 14:09

though when he's 27 and you're 34 and saggy you might notice it more.

I'm 38 and there's no sag here!

BatTeethKeith · 07/10/2015 14:17

I'm 41. Dh is 30. He hasn't mentioned noticing any sag here either and if he did he would have more sense than to mention it

fulldutypaid · 07/10/2015 19:58

So at 16 this girl was an adult? err ok then :/ I find it truly awful anyone would think that.

If some bloke of 30 odd even tried to date my 16 year old girl I'd chop his bollocks off.

Shutthatdoor · 07/10/2015 20:03

If some bloke of 30 odd even tried to date my 16 year old girl I'd chop his bollocks off.

Well that would probably land you in prison

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/10/2015 20:08

You sound a nice rounded individual fulldutypaid

fulldutypaid · 07/10/2015 20:08

Why are you being so goady shutthatdoor?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/10/2015 20:14

I don't think shutthatdoor is being goady Confused. On the other hand you definitely are fulldutypaid

Shutthatdoor · 07/10/2015 20:16

Why are you being so goady shutthatdoor?

I'may not being goody, I'm stating fact!

Thank you Through

Shutthatdoor · 07/10/2015 20:17

*goady

Strokethefurrywall · 07/10/2015 20:31

I used to vow never to date anyone younger than my brother who was 3 1/2 years younger than me.

Then I moved abroad and met now DH. I was 28, he was 23. Then I married him. Having only a few days turned 36 and him edging his way slowly toward 31, I'd say we're both doing fairly well!

My boobs are still up where they should be, although have deflated from a rather majestic 32E to a 34 D. They're a little sadder than they were, two baby boys sucked the meat right out of them; but the rest of me is doing pretty fucking amazing!

As I said to my mum when I went on my first date with him - "I think he might turn out to be the greatest surprise of my life". And he's still the greatest shag ever...

LemonySmithit · 07/10/2015 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jorahmormont · 07/10/2015 20:49

Arf at fullduty accusing someone else of being goady Grin Grin Grin