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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder at this age gap

159 replies

Phonebox · 05/10/2015 14:56

I've been flirting outrageously with a just-turned 22 year old man. I'm 29. He would like things to get a bit more serious and see me regularly...as a girlfriend, I suppose.

Aibu?

OP posts:
TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 05/10/2015 19:53

Minecraft my dad is 87 and my bitch that gave birth to me mother is 55. I'm 33 and they split about 5/6 years ago

OhBigHairyBollocks · 05/10/2015 19:54

I was 19 when I got together with DH. He was 38. Five years later we are married and have a dd, and a ds on the way Smile

Age really is just a number.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 19:54

Well don't knock it unless you've tried it - we don't choose who we fall for.

Makes me feel a bit sad that a significant relationship in my life would be described as "creepy".

BestIsWest · 05/10/2015 19:57

I met DH when I was 21 and he was almost 28. Worked for us.

SaucyJack · 05/10/2015 19:58

Both in your twenties is fine, though when he's 27 and you're 34 and saggy you might notice it more.

Mind you, there's only four years between me and DP but he remembers ha'pennies and I don't which has led to some bewilderment on both sides.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/10/2015 20:11

Saggy at 34?? Cheery thought for the op SaucyJack. It may be him who is saggy at 27.

MinecraftWonder · 05/10/2015 20:11

I think that's a silly thing to say tbh (don't knock it till you've tried it).

I don't need to 'try it' to know i'm not attracted to women. And at 29, I don't need to 'try it' to know that i'm not attracted to men in their mid 40's plus (or late teens/early twenties for that matter). I'm just not.

ReginaBlitz · 05/10/2015 20:19

I got with my oh when he was 21 I was 28 with 3 kids. It's not too young and everyone's maturity levels are different he's more mature than me!Grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/10/2015 20:20

OP, you can't help who you fall in love with and if its mutual it would be foolish not to pursue it for a small matter of 7 years.

Much better to meet in your 20's than when you are say 43 and he 36, and having children are an immediate issue, you're at an age the relationship can just progress normally and see where it takes you.

ReginaBlitz · 05/10/2015 20:21

And as for saggy at 34 really?!

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 20:35

minecraft wow it must be pretty dull having such narrow options - and so ageist?!

My parents had a 10 yr age gap and my gran was 18 yrs older than my grandad - I guess I've just been shown broader horizons and now I'm 40 I am a little older and know not to judge others for their choices.

It's not creepy.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 20:37

And saggy at 34 - just wow Shock

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 20:37

It depends on where you're both at and what you want. Some people are more mature than others no matter the number.

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 20:40

My son was born older than me Grin

OhBigHairyBollocks · 05/10/2015 20:44

Some people probably deem our age gap of 19years creepy.

I am generally not friends with these people Wink

Needaninsight · 05/10/2015 20:46

Nice to know that some people think my marriage is creepy!

I'm 41 and DH is 27. Been together 5, nearly 6 years now.

Neither of us had 'baggage', both sporty, immediate connection. Happy as larry. 2 gorgeous kids. He looks older, I look quite good for my age, we don't look wrong together.

Frankly, anyone who thinks it's creepy can keep their views to themselves Grin

Oh and as for the comment, remember when I was 20 something and you were 6. Thank Christ I'm not married to someone I was at school with, and still living in the bloody past!! I can honestly say, I've never given a thought to how old he was when I was at uni or whatever. I didn't know him then!!! I've only known him as an adult. Each to their own.

SaucyJack · 05/10/2015 20:46

"And as for saggy at 34 really?"

Really. I have to hold them up to wash underneath in the bath.

I would not want to be getting jiggy with a twenty-something at my time of life. I know age is supposed to be a number an'all, but there comes a point where one can't pass for being young any more.

Jeffreythegiraffe · 05/10/2015 20:55

Dh is four years younger than me. I can't say it makes any difference.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 20:57

I have always had to hold them up to wash them - they are a 36 E Grin

MmeGuillotine · 05/10/2015 21:16

My husband is eight years younger than me - we got together when he was twenty one and I was twenty nine and have been together for almost twelve years now. It helps, I suppose, that he is incredibly sensible and mature and I am pathetically immature and, on occasion, really quite badly behaved (thanks to a charmless combination of HPD, Aspergers and dyspraxia) so we balance each other out. Plus we both, allegedly, look much younger than we actually are so I'm not sure anyone realises that there's such a large gap between us.

I've only ever had one boyfriend who was older than me and it was awful. I'm just really not interested in men my own age and they never seem very interested in me either!

jorahmormont · 05/10/2015 21:45

DP is 9 years older than me. Age really is just a number, the 'half your age plus seven' rule is bollocks. Enjoy Grin

Indole · 05/10/2015 21:45

I'm 46 and I'm not particularly saggy. OK, maybe a little saggier than when I was twenty or thirty but, erm, I'd happily take my clothes off in front of a twenty year old if I fancied him and he fancied me (and it wouldn't be weird, what with an age difference that might make conversation hard and just plain feel a bit odd). I'm a size 8-10. I don't diet. I'm quite fit. I'm not especially wrinkly. I think I look great.

Actually, I'd say DH looks older than I do and he is six years younger. He's not saggy either, btw, just wrinklier than me.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 05/10/2015 22:11

Woah, saggy at 34?!?! So on my next birthday am I going to wake up and find everything has gone south? Yeah sure!

SolidGoldBrass · 05/10/2015 22:17

Pah. I am going on a date on Friday with a man 20 years younger than me. I have known him for about a year and we get on very well, probably because both of us are a bit weird. Mind you, if anything comes of it it won't be anything serious because i don't do relationships.

ohtheholidays · 05/10/2015 22:24

My DH is 7 years younger than me and we work,we've been together along time now and we have 5DC.