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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder at this age gap

159 replies

Phonebox · 05/10/2015 14:56

I've been flirting outrageously with a just-turned 22 year old man. I'm 29. He would like things to get a bit more serious and see me regularly...as a girlfriend, I suppose.

Aibu?

OP posts:
MinecraftWonder · 05/10/2015 22:44

Weathergames, we're all ageist, just to different degrees.

How many 90 year old men would you want to get jiggy with? No, thought not.

My age barrier is just lower is all.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 22:53

I disagree with you.

Love is love and lust is lust and age isn't a barrier in that unless you make it one.

MinecraftWonder · 05/10/2015 22:57

I think we'll have to agree to disagree then.

I think most people would have an upper age limit if they were honest - whether that is 50, 60, 70, 80 etc.

And the other way too - at 29, I wouldn't consider going out with a 16 year old, legal as it may be. It would just be ick. If you could birth it, don't sleep with it seems as good a guide as any to me.

Weathergames · 05/10/2015 22:59

I agree to disagree Smile

SaucyJack · 05/10/2015 23:09

Scoff all you like TripTrap.... but don't say I didn't warn you Wink

I'm beginning to get the impression that others are not appreciating an age being put on it, but in my experience 34 does seem to be a turning point between yoof and.... not yoof.

It's not necessarily a bad thing btw. Just looking around at myself and those I've grown up with and we have all definitely become Grown Ups over the past year or so.

Shagging twenty-five year olds is a thing of the past. Along with the Labour Party and free carrier bags.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 05/10/2015 23:17

Ah, but with forewarning I can smother myself in various magical potions from Boots Wink

On a serious note though, it doesn't really matter does it? Ok, it kinda matters to us but in the grand scheme of things is it really that important?

mrdaddypig · 05/10/2015 23:22

im older then my wife we have been together over 10 years im much older actually shes 28 im in my early 50.s

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:25

Im 53 and wouldnt even dream of shagging someone that could be my sons age, its just a yuck. It smacks of me being unable to come to terms with my own age. To date a guy of 48 would be ok. 45 would be pushing it Grin

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:32

mrdaddy, so you are saying you met her when she was 18 and you were probably 45? so you actually took her youth? disgusting.

swimmerforlife · 05/10/2015 23:38

Oh dear I only have 7 months of my youth left, best make the most of it Grin

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:39

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jorahmormont · 05/10/2015 23:45

She was eighteen, fullduty. Why would you call him a paedophile? Hmm

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:47

He said "ish"

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:48

he said "over" 10 years....

jorahmormont · 05/10/2015 23:51

Sixteen is the age of consent - they could have gotten together when she was sixteen or seventeen. He still wouldn't be a paedophile.

I 'met' my DP when I was 13 and he was 22 (as in, we were in the same theatre company and acted on the same stage). Hated him until I was fifteen, we got together when I was sixteen. We've lasted longer than any of my friends who got together with people their own age. If anyone called him a paedophile I'd a) laugh in their faces then b) tell them to fuck off.

fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:53

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fulldutypaid · 05/10/2015 23:55

13 and 22 is still not on... having sex with a minor is still not on... as much as you want to laugh in peoples faces jorah, stop trying to make it right.

fulldutypaid · 06/10/2015 00:00

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jorahmormont · 06/10/2015 00:03

Sorry, should I not have joined the theatre group at thirteen, just in case I encountered any twenty two year olds? Hmm Do you have selective reading or something? I met him at thirteen. We were in a pantomime together. I played the princess, he played the dumb sidekick if I remember rightly, so - if it makes you feel any better - we didn't interact on stage much. I hated him, thought he was a total knobhead (because he told me to shut up when I was talking during rehearsal Grin ). We barely spoke for years.

I don't need to 'make anything right', full, if I - as a sixteen year old, wanted to have sex with a twenty five year old, there is nothing in the law to say I can't, and no reason why I shouldn't.

jorahmormont · 06/10/2015 00:06

According to the law -

"Paedophilia is used for individuals with a primary sexual interest in prepubescent children aged 13 or younger".

So, presuming mrdaddy didn't get together with his partner before she was 14, he is not a paedophile. And, seeing as my DP didn't get together with me until I was sixteen, and we didn't sleep together until I was seventeen, he is not a paedophile either.

fulldutypaid · 06/10/2015 00:07

I have no idea why you keep banging on about you and someone older, but probably because he wasnt vastly older than what has just been pulled up now. I still wouldnt have liked it as your parents probably didnt, hence your reaction.

fulldutypaid · 06/10/2015 00:09

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jorahmormont · 06/10/2015 00:10

I'm "banging on" about it because you suggested that we got together at 13 and 22, which is bullshit as you well know Grin

probably because he wasnt vastly older than what has just been pulled up now

Well, that makes zero sense.

I still wouldnt have liked it as your parents probably didnt, hence your reaction.

They had a funny reaction if they 'didn't like it', considering they let him stay over frequently, but hey.

Anyway, the reason I brought it up is because you're being not only astonishingly rude, but also incredibly dim in calling mrdaddy a paedophile. HTH.

fulldutypaid · 06/10/2015 00:13

He is preying on the young. You can shout and defend all you wish. Im not being rude, Im being a protective mother. Dim? err ok then, still a very young girl.

fulldutypaid · 06/10/2015 00:14

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