To dislike the term "full time mum"

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Last time I checked all mums were full time mums, you don't clock off when you go to work.

What's wrong with housewife or stay at home mum or unemployed? When did being a parent become an employment status?

Ah, maybe Cookie can't imagine telling her dh she is opting out of work because he expects her to work and she has no say, preferring to sah.. it would explain the struggle with basic logic.
We shouldn't be too hard.

The thing about financial contribution to the family really depends on your circumstances. If I were to give up work, it would be a massive financial drain on our family, and it would be ludicrous to suggest that I could contribute financially by staying at home. However, for someone whose childcare and commuting costs etc equal or exceed their earning potential, then obviously, their unpaid work in the home makes a contribution that has financial value.

I guess most of us look at these things from the point of view of their own circumstances - it's easy to forget that others may have very different perspectives.

Is it just my perception or are these of sorts thread always started by a working parent? I don't recall seeing one started by a SAHP complaining about what a WOHP calls themselves.

Nah, I've seen plenty of WOHP/SAHP threads started by SAHPs.

About what WOHPs call themseves?

I must confess that I am tempted to start one titled "A WOHP who dumps their child in childcare and abdicates responsibility for X hours a day is not a full time parent no matter how you dress it up" just to see how it pans out :o

I've never seen a thread started by a sahp complaining about what a wohp calls themselves

I'm not contributing financially. I probably could earn more than the cost of childcare (especially taken over the longer term including school years). But that's not the only contribution someone can make to family life and our decision for me to not work suits us all.

soupdragon or how about the term "working parent" is offensive because it implies SAHP just sit on their arse all day.

not read thread but surely for whatever reason out sourcing child care means, someone else is doing that child care?
Where as FULL TIME MOTHER is, doing that child care ALL THE TIME, the actual physical part?

agree never see threads started by the full time mothers

I dislike the term because it reduces the state of being a mother to nothing more than a job title.

Once you have given birth, you are a mother. Nothing and no-one can ever change that. It isn't something that you can choose to do full-time, part-time, or not at all. You are either a mother or you are not.

I'm a SAHM at the moment, despite wanting to work (not financially viable). If asked, I say that I am a full time Mum. I also hate the phrase though!

However, what REALLY got on my nerves was registering at a GP and upon me saying I'm s SAHM they then asked what my DH's job was. I didn't realise that has anything at all to do with my own employment status? And why do they even need to know what my job is anyway? If it's to think about risk factors re. work, they could ask if you are active during the day, or if you have a particularly stressful life. Both could apply to paid and unpaid roles.

Maybe in future I should start saying retired, and if they question it say I married a really rich man and don't have to work anymore.

I think it's the interpretation of the phrase by the person asking "what do you do?" that reduces it to a job title. And again, it becomes their problem, not the full time mother's problem.

Rainbow

I agree entirely, whoever you are you answer with either your job title, list of things you do at home for the dc, or sahm/ full time mum.
There aren't any other options.
Now, since dd has boarded since September I don't give myself a title as retired full time mother doesn't sound right.
Lady of leisure gets peoples backs up, especially if they'd prefer not to work.
I guess you have to say what you want and sod offending somebody.

No - even if the family is financially down if one chooses to stay at home then the parent who stays at home is still contributing financially. They're just doing so less than if they were working.

Ironically, I think we earn more as a family with me not working than if I did, due to me and DS not being UK nationals and therefore ineligible for tax credits etc.

I can't say it's a phrase I've consciously used but most people already know I don't work or don't care enough to ask. If I am asked I would say something like "I'm not working at the moment, but will probably return to nursing when the kids start school."

If I did use the phrase "full time mum" it certainly wouldn't mean I thought i was a better mum, any more than the parents who say their child is benefiting from nursery while they work means I am disadvantaging my children by not sending them to nursery. Most people are too self obsessed to be sensitive to every one else's feelings / interprerations of a phrase all the time!

Agree with above post. I certainly don't use any phrase to compare myself to anyone else.

I don't feel guilty about the fact that I would prefer to work part time. In fact, for me, working makes me a better mother because I appreciate more the time I do have with my DS.

I understand why working parents who would prefer to be at home might, but that's their issue to address. If you look around at the adults near you now, can you tell whose parents worked and whose stayed at home with them? Doubt it.

Oh there are tons of threads started by SAHPs objecting to the term 'working parents' because ya know, looking after kids, cooking, cleaning etc is work.

Cue posters giving lengthy accounts of their days as SAHPs (yawnsville Arizona)...hardest job in the world.

Threads like that run for days...

I don't think I've ever been asked what I do by anyone who didn't already know I worked. By the same measure I don't think I've ever asked someone what they do without already knowing they worked. Maybe I'm in a minority but I'm not actually that interested in how other people spend their days.

I'm not unemployed, as to claim JSA I'd have to be available for work. SAHP is an employment status.

I thought everyone on X-factor was 'doing it for my Nan' who is terminally ill with an awful disease.

So now they're full time mums - awww bless, it's all for their DCs, not in it for themselves.

I believe that too [grump]

I don't really care whether or not the contribution is viewed as financial, tbh. You may or may not be saving money on childcare, taxis, painting and decorating, general DIY, financial advice, cleaning, cooking, gardening, washing, ironing, shopping, clothing, project managing, home care visits for elderly relatives, not commuting, etc. You may or may not be making money for the family as a result of having the time to research ways of investing family savings yourself. You may or may not be improving your family's quality of life. You may or may not be contributing some of your extra spare time to volunteering in the local community. Nobody can tell what you actually do with your time with any of the phrases suggested. If people want to make a snap value judgement of others on the back of a short response to a silly question, then more fool them.