To dislike the term "full time mum"

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Last time I checked all mums were full time mums, you don't clock off when you go to work.

What's wrong with housewife or stay at home mum or unemployed? When did being a parent become an employment status?

I have no qualms about saying I'm not working to a question which is asking me what work I do.

I don't like the what do you do question so much (probably because of my answer!) but there you go. This is the world we live in.

Waxing or gardening is discretionary expenditure. Once you've got small DC, it is not discretionary expenditure to pay for childcare.

Domestic engineer?
I'm degree educated with 3 young kids Ive taken a 'career break' to raise them and during this time, my DH's career has soared, which luckily enables me to enjoy the childcare years 'at home'. It is exhausting mentally draining work, but I'd like to think of this time as priceless in terms of contributing to a community of unpaid people (being around during the day to chat to the elderly who perhaps dont see another person all day/being around to give my kids that secure feeling of knowing a parent is available for them during the day) However I will be returning to work, as I cant shake the feeling that my invisible role as a mum at home/SAHP is denigrating to the intelligent potential I have to offer society in a paid role. It's a role at home which although I can see the brilliant results of being here to raise our kids, is somewhat demoralising if I have a thirst for meeting intelligent targets and challenges in a structured 'work' environment. Probably not making a huge amount of sense, but I am looking forward to returning to work soon

Only if you're using paid childcare.

The point I was making was in response to tiggy ie that you don't earn £400 by not spending £400 (on childcare - or anything else), and by doing something yourself you don't then earn that amount over and above your paid income. However, by not working you also don't protect your pension or long term earning ability (unless you have sound financial backup in place) - reducing your income further in the long term.

I don't think you earn money by not spending it, but you are providing financial assets to the family if you don't spend on childcare and other work related expenses. This is money you can save or spend in other areas, a huge bonus to the family or your pension.

Only if you're not bringing home more than your outgoings New. If you have a job which pays £1K a month, say - your childcare is £300, your work related expenses are £100 - that benefits the family to the tune of £600 a month. Add your pension contributions etc etc to that and once your paid childcare days are over you're in a much better position financially.

If you find being a SAHM to young children "mind numbing" you clearly weren't putting your mind to it and doing a good job.

Look "work" up in the dictionary and tell me whether you can find any definition of it that requires it to be paid, Itsmine. Unpaid childcare for your own children fits the definition of what work is, just as it doesn't fit the definition of "unemployed."

I suspect there are quite a lot of people who, without government support, would be spending more on childcare than they earn.

SirChengin

Some people have to pay for commutes, running a car, lunch, coffees, collection for colleagues, guilt presents for children, work clothes and accessories and this adds up, sometimes to more than a person earns in the first place.
Sorry to beg to differ but no way would we have been in the position we are if I had worked, we'd be far worse off. However, everybody is different and for some, working will gain them a small profit.

Itsmine

Of course a parent is working if they are doing the same if not a much better job in some circumstances. Some sahp's take the role of educating and caring for their children seriously.

Small profit newlife ?

I make a very large one thanks . And my outgoings before I took on the lecture work (which is my least well paid and something I do for fun) were tiny (as my tax returns will avow).

Yes New - you said "you are providing financial assets to the family if you don't spend on childcare and other work related expenses", and I said, not if you earn more than the cost of childcare and work related expenses (including the ones you mentioned in your subsequent post). It will differ for many families - ie it certainly won't be a 'small profit' and in the long run it will stand you in a far better financial position - but you can't make generalisations that you are providing financial assets by not working.

If you find being a SAHM to young children "mind numbing" you clearly weren't putting your mind to it and doing a good job.

Today the only thing that will amuse DD is running around in circles listening to a two hour loop of Let It Go.

If finding that mind numbing me
means I'm not doing a good job then hey. DD is evidently doomed.

Although to look at the structure of my day as a SAHP vs my 'working' day when I had a really mentally stimulating job, I can see many similarities, namely getting up early all week, showing up (getting kids to school on time, fed, presentable, safely) being present enough of mind to remember 'stuff' - picking up groceries so they have suitable lunches/making sure house is clean...but tbh this is not a CHALLENGE.

And I am not getting paid to look after my own kids. Childcare, 50 hours a week plus domestic stuff I'd be doing ANYWAY after work (picking up groceries after a satisfying day of paid work means the groceries would still get picked up, lunches would still get made, children would still get bathed)

I suppose the difference is that my days are a slower pace, which for now, means I can be a more relaxed person. Relaxed, but in need of mental stimulation.

Plus after a 'career break' raising my kids, I'll be retraining/upskilling at weekends before applying for jobs. I'd like to think of that as a new chapter in my life. Just as many opt out of the workforce to care for children/parents etc - for a short or longer term. We should be free to choose according to how our circumstances are at the time. Nothing is set in stone. Thankfully.

SheGot

Of course some people make a huge profit, but alas some only a small one.
I went for the small one as personally I know more in this category so can relate to it.

SirChenjin.

I wasn't meaning to generalise, of course it's different for different circumstances. likewise you can't generalise that working will in the long term stand you in a better financial position. Ther again it depends what you do with the money you have.

Of course it depends what you do with your money - but in order to spend it you have to earn it, and if you're bringing in more you'll have more to spend/save/invest/whatever. Working = money.

No, working for money=money.

Gosh, I'm lost now, too few grey cells.

I suppose the point I was making is that you can't generalise, yes it's obvious if you work you earn money, but everybody doesn't have to earn their money or work to achieve it. There are various ways that some people gain money without work.
I look at the financial situation of friends and family and different ways work for different people and maybe wouldn't suit somebody else in a different situation.

Not in the context in which I was posting round. Of there are other ways to gain money - benefits (but that's not ideal in anyone's book), inheritance, lottery win, etc. The fact is though, for most people work some sort of paid employment is necessary in order to earn money. If you are lucky enough to have the sort of money that means you don't have to work (and by that I mean both people in the partnership, rather than one working in paid employment to bring in the money) then good for you, but most people have to.

? Are you posting to me, SirChenjin? If so, you are making absolutely no sense. I think your reply would make more sense directed to NewLife, so I shall take your putting the word round in bold as a mistake!

You do not have to work for money to be working as work is merely an activity involving mental or physical effort done to achieve a result. I think or will therefore find that changing a baby's nappy is work regardless of your childcare qualifications or employment status... Since this entire thread has been about semantics, I think you ought to take note of that and choose your words more carefully! It is, after all, apparently not good enough to argue that everyone ought to know what you mean when you use sloppy language. SAHMs are not lazy people who don't work any more than WOHMs are bad parents who only parent part time.

Jeeeeesssss Are we STILL having this fecking conversation????? You want to/need to work - righto. You want to/need to stay home - righto! Who the fuck cares what other people call themselves. If you encounter smug bastards in your real life tell them to bolt.... Make the most of the situation you're in, enjoy it and love your bairns and get on with it. FFS!!!!

Oh, BettinaMC - you need to embrace your inner pedant!

Yes, I was posting to you where I highlighted your name. I then went onto respond to New. Hope that clears up your confusion.