To dislike the term "full time mum"

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Last time I checked all mums were full time mums, you don't clock off when you go to work.

What's wrong with housewife or stay at home mum or unemployed? When did being a parent become an employment status?

I think what this thread shows is that nobody can parent in a vacuum. We all rely on far more people than we care to admit to help bring up our children. We need money, we need time, we need health, we need resources - we need a functioning society around us where different people take responsibility for different things and things work smoothly. Earning money is not the only way to contribute to society. Enabling others to earn money is another way. Helping others for free just to feel good about yourself is also another way. Never be too smug when you crow about financial independence, because nobody is entirely independent. We need each other. We are all vulnerable.

I quite agree with your last post (although we can do a lot to minimise our vulnerability...) - but what I would add is that (imo) no-one is a full time anything.

Ah, yes,my hat does clear up my confusion,SirChenjin. To avoid further confusion, my last post was not directed at anyone in particular, but a smug soliloquy, because I felt like it!

It didn't come across as smug at all. It actually sounded very sensible

I am a full time human being, but only a part time pedant.

Thank you, SirChenjin.

At the moment I am a full time mum. My DD is 8 weeks old so pretty well all I do is feed and nappy changes with occasional interludes of housework, food shopping and visits to mother and baby groups. I am hoping that the "mum" bit will become less full time so I can get back on top of the cooking (evening cluster feeding is not good for dinner prep!) and serious decluttering followed by studying/cpd for my planned working from home future.

I don't necessarily count baby wearing time as "mum" time as I can do "me" and "house" things then!

Status anxiety? Rife these days. Everyone watching everyone else. Who cares? At the end of the day, if your day to day role (working/raising kids at home etc etc) works for your family unit at that time of your life, then that's all that matters. If it doesn't work well, change it. It's not the 50's. Or 80's.

I don't doubt there are an awful lot of SAHPs of babies and preschoolers who work hard all day long and it's exhausting.

Once they are school age it does change. The SAHPs (all women) in our village would openly admit that they are 'ladies of leisure'. They do very little other than enjoy themselves during the week days.

Walks on the beach, reading, chatting over a coffee, a spot of gardening, catching up with hobbies or exercising. All very nice.

Yes there's some household admin that gets done too, but nothing over and above that which the working parents do. There's no real way of describing that other than being at leisure.

A lovely existence, if that's what suits you. I tried it for a little while and it really didn't suit me. I was unfulfilled and struggled for focus. Now mine are both in school I have returned to full time work from my previous part time consultancy that I did while the children were smaller.