To dislike the term "full time mum"

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Last time I checked all mums were full time mums, you don't clock off when you go to work.

What's wrong with housewife or stay at home mum or unemployed? When did being a parent become an employment status?

I think I used to say "I'm not working at the moment while I stay at home with the children" or something similar. Hopefully that was acceptable?

It became a bit more of a mouthful when I started working part time, but I would always make sure to finish the explanation off with "... and I go to work for a rest"

Yes, sorry, ilovesooty - I hadn't seen your post when I posted. I think it's a fun idea, though. I also see a problem with saying, "I don't work at the moment," though, as it implies exactly the same thing as "economically inactive" - namely that the only work of any importance in life is paid work.

I hate it too. Someone on Pointless once described herself as a part-time mum meaning she worked part-time. But mums are still mums when they're at work are they not? I thought that was an odd way to describe herself.

"Economically inactive" is a term an economist might use although most o them acknowledge that economic models are inaccurate to the extent that they don't include the value to society of people doing unpaid work. Anyway, none of that is very relevant to some wee lassie on Xfactor who's anyway got 90 seconds to introduce herself and do her turn.

I really think there's a bit of deliberate offence-taking going on if people are getting their knickers in a twist about "full time mum". It's never said smugly - it's usually done with an apologetic shrug of the shoulders as if looking after little children was some kind of long term holiday instead of about 10 times harder than any bloody job I ever had. I don't even get why part time is an insult: I'm a part time statistician*, nobody thinks that on a Monday and Tuesday I forget what a p-value is or that I start thinking you can use two data points to predict a trend. I'm still a statistician.

*Actually I'm currently not as in I'm starting a masters in February and my kids have started Kindergarten so I have actual time off. I guess I am one of the truly "economically inactive" on here! I'm off to play xbox for a while now, and then I might go an have a bath.

What about a part-time solicitor? A solicitor's still a solicitor whether she's at work or not, isn't she? Why are all these "part timers" doing themselves down? They are who they are 24 hours a day.

If person A asks person B what they do, and person B says full time mum, to which person A takes offence, this tells me two things...

1. that person b has no paid work nor uses any childcare.
2. that person A wants to do that.

I'm also truly economically inactive toomuch, I had to quit my job due to a student finance cock-up and can't get it back, so I'm taking time off to finish a few projects while DD goes to nursery before I start my PGCE. Xbox is a major feature here too

I think more and more people are beginning to understand the value of unpaid work, now that childcare costs and care home fees for the elderly and disabled are so expensive.

Zoemaguire has it right.

I say, oh I'm looking after the children full time at the moment. Once they were all in school, if I wasn't working during school hours, I don't know how I'd describe myself. Independently wealthy, maybe.

"Full time mum" just seems like an obvious parallel to "Work full time". "Full time" is a convenient shorthand for "9 to 5, 5 days a week". Maybe people should start calling themselves overtime mums.

No one is saying that the full time lawyer has lost the ability to breast feed or read "Peepo" during the hours she is at work. Equally no one should think that someone who is breastfeeding and reading "Peepo" has temporarily lost the ability to write a legal brief.

minty - same here.

Lets face it, the vast majority of the time you're going to be having a conversation with someone when the question comes up. When having a chat you don't speak in robotic short sentences:

''Hey, Epona, what do you do by the way?''

''I ... am ... a ... Full ... Time ... Mum''

No, i'd say something like:

''At home with mini Epona at the moment - enjoying it actually. I'll probably look for something part time once she starts reception. Cant say i'm looking forward to that though! lol''

If they pushed - ie ''Oh! So you don't work', i might say ''Well, i'm a full time mum'', but to be honest i'd think the person pushing was a bit of a dick by then and wouldn't bother talking to them much more.

I don't know why people get so worked up about it. I work 3 days a week in total, so would not class myself as a full time mum. Some people seem over sensitive about not being perceived as a mum while they are at work. I'm not sure why, I'm happy to admit that on my work days I'm doing something else, worthwhile and that I enjoy, while I pay a childminder to be in loco parentis instead, so I'm not performing the 'mum' duty. There's no shame in that to me.

Mums who do not work outside the home I would see and class as full time mums.

However when children reach school age I don't think the phrase makes much sense as during school hours you are not being a mum/actively looking after your children. Housewife makes more sense to describe that.

'I'm not working atm, i'm at home with the dc' would probably be what i'd say.

'Full time mum', 'stay at home parent' and the like - they're terms that I only hear on mn and people don't tend to label themselves in that way in RL IME.

People often do that in RL too I find, if their job title could be open to interpretation. They'll say 'Oh I work at X hospital' rather than 'i'm an admin assistant' or 'I work at Barclays' rather than 'I'm a customer service advisor'.

And to the OP I would say, don't put women in the position where they have to justify the fact that they're not earning and then you won't hear this phrase.

This.

It used to be only professionals who defined themselves by their job title whether they were actually in work or not.
The landed gentry defined themselves by family name and connections.
Everyone else was just plain old Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms who may or may not have had a job.

If I am ever on X factor I am much more likely to define myself by my musical credentials rather than my profession / family rearing set up or employment status.
If I am on bake off I will be showing off my brownie badges.
If I am on gardeners World I will be talking about my inability to be hard enough to thin my seedlings.
If I am on University Challenge I will be playing down my education lest I embarrass myself.

In MN land I may use the accepted SAHM term if the fact that I don't outsource childcare is relevant to the parenting / lifestyle issue under discussion. In these cases it would usually be equally applicable to use the term FT Mum. Neither of these terms define me nor how I spend my time.

I dislike it. It makes being a mother sound like a paid employment.

It reminds me of those awful Take a Break style magazines, where the people in the articles are always described as "unemployed plumber/sales assistant/engineer" On that basis I am an unemployed cook, cleaner, bum wiper, decorator, laundry assistant, driver and counsellor - no one has ever paid me to do it.

Additionally I have seen it a lot on FB where people have put it in to the "occupation" section.

So it does come up in RL.

But cheesy isn't asking people what they do for a living just normal/uncontroversial conversation?

I had a fascinating touchline conversation with a man yesterday who invents apps. Something about which I knew little. He was also very interested in my work.

Just polite interesting conversation between two strangers.

I have one friend who tells people she is a "Full time yummy mummy".

Her kids are all at school. I just laugh inwardly because what she really is, is a full time instagram-er.

On dd's birth certificate I'm a "Full time Mother" I think. I wouldn't generally describe myself as such, I say "I'm at home with the kids". I think perhaps those who say "I'm a full time Mummy" are a bit sensitive about not working and those who give a shit are a bit sensitive about working.

The purpose of language is to make yourself understood surely? If someone said "I'm a office admin assistant" I wouldn't think of them as a Part time parent...no one would. Of course you're still a parent when you work but can you imagine a conversation going..

Ms X- "What do you do?"
Ms Y-"I'm a full time Mum."
Ms X- "Did you leave your job at Barclays? I thought you worked with so and so"
Ms Y- "No I do that too. I don't cease my parenting responsibilities as soon as I enter my place of work you know."
Mrs X- "Erm....ok. That's me told".

It would just be odd.

I'm not unemployed though. Neither is my dad, he's retired. Neither is my nephew, he's a student. It isn't a case of employed/unemployed.

I'd draw a line at "Full time Yummy Mummy". I'm really not friends with anyone like that!!!!

cersei I know a woman who calls herself a full time mum though she has one in university and one at boarding school!

I think the trouble is that none of the labels we use really fit, without further explanation. I work what is considered full time at my job, but I spend a lot more hours a week with DS, yet I am not a full time Mum.

SAHM's do not generally spend all their time at home, WOHM's do not spend all their time at work. Everyone's situation is different, and most people have several different roles in their lives. As well as a Mum I am a Daughter, Sister, Aunt, etc, but none of those roles seem to be expected to define me.

Having no job, parent or not, means a person is not in employment so is unemployed

Anyone who describes a SAHP as unemployed should describe themselves as a full time obnoxious twat.

When at home with children who are of nursery age, you are effectively earning the cost of childcare. By not paying out £x000 a month, you are increasing the money in the family pot by that much. If you are doing a job that you would otherwise have to pay someone to do you are not fucking unemployed and nor are you not contributing to the family finances.

those who think that parenting only refers to childcare would not refer to themselves as "full-time parents" once their dc have started school, so what do they call themselves then?

I am a lady of leisure and on call mother.