To think that a double standard applies to cock size?

[Babycham1979]

Sorry in advance, this is a thread about a thread. On the sex forum, there was a discussion about whether you can assess a guy's cock size based on any other part of his body (of course you can't).

However, it strikes me that the way women discuss men's dicks would be considered utterly unacceptable if the sexes were reversed. Surely, a big cock is no different to a tight vagina (and a small one, a very loose vagina), but if men regularly and publicly made jokes about, or compared women's tightness/looseness, they'd be strung up from the nearest lamppost.

AIBU?

[MinecraftWonder]

You're really picking at thread Disco.

Someone said they'd seen it on mn. Someone responded 'Nope' and asked for a link.

Which I posted - proving that women have, in fact, discussed in on mn.

[MinecraftWonder]

How upset do you feel about the sort of response women get from men on the internet, by the way?

Um...'not' pretty much covers it. Your question is far too vague. Response from men to women - where? Forums? Articles?

Also, are you going to head over to some gay sites and tell them to stop talking about cock?

Obviously not, and not really sure of your point.

[DiscoGoGo]

OK whatever.



I'm not entirely sure it's me that's picking.

And you're deluded if you still think that the way women talk about men on the net is in any way as bad as the way men talk about women.

[DiscoGoGo]

Oh right. I gave some examples upthread - women like Sue Perkins, Mary Beard, Caroline Criado Perez and so on and so forth. You know, all the women who get men issuing threats of sexual violence to them. In a way that, you know, women don't tend to do towards men.

I expect that some women have done it sometime though, which will totally prove this is a gender neutral problem and women and girls should STFU about it

[KurriKurri]

On a forum with c. 2 million (+) members, you have produced a four year old thread on which 131 people were interested enough to click on it and reply. And many of those were telling the OP not to be so silly and shallow.

Not the most convincing evidence I've ever seen for an argument.

[thehypocritesoaf]

The proposal was that 'most' women discuss their husbands penis size, as opposed to the men who would never dream of doing the equivalent.

And you agree with that mine-craft? Really?

[thehypocritesoaf]

I can assure you I know less than nothing about my friends husbands penises.
I guess it has er never come up.

[MinecraftWonder]

Mmm...and those threats were...what? Laughed about, giggled about by the masses, seen as OK? I doubt it.

Imagine a man complaining on a website that their dw's vagina is too big, followed by pages of general piss taking about women by other men, plus a few suggestions about how the hard-done by bloke with the slack-vagina'd wife could improve sex.

It wouldn't be viewed as 'acceptable' at all. YET, the thread I posted, in direct answer to someone's request for a link got 'PMSL what's so bad about that' type responses. Because it was OK for women to piss take about penises in that way.

This thread was about what is SEEN as acceptable. And IMO, women talking about blokes intimate anatomy IS seen as much more acceptable than the other way.

How many grubby exposes are published in the gutter press, when footballers and the like have cheated on their dw's - and the interviews with the ow frequently refer to penis size, sexual prowess by the man, points she'd give him out of ten even.

Can you even imagine that situation reversed? Seriously? No bloody way, feminist groups would have a meltdown and probably lobby for the bloke to be charged with something.

[thehypocritesoaf]

you honestly think a few silly women who make cock jokes are the equivalent of the non stop barrage of rape jokes, women's body shaming, women's getting old shaming that women undergo everyday?

Fucking hell, you really think that?

[DiscoGoGo]

The OP also positioned women as being worse than men, and minecraft said OP was NBU.

OP said that women on MN can talk about penises yet if men (presumably on other internet forums) talked about women in those types of terms - about their cunts or whatever, they'd be "strung up".

This is patent bollocks and anyone who agrees with it is an idiot.

Male dominated forums are notorious for the topics they get stuck into, and actual sex related threats and so forth are usually issued by men usually to women to shut them up.

Whole dynamic is totally different to how MN works - I have never seen a group of MNers say "hey that bloke's said something I disagree with, com on girls let's go to his twitter and tell him he has a small dick and then hey let's also threaten to rape him to death!".

It's a difference in scale. No it's not nice either way. But how women behave in matters to do with sex is once again not the actual main problem with this stuff.

I think a lot of this shows up that
a. men assume that women talk about men, the way that men talk about women, and that is why they come out with this stuff
b. this is why men don't like places like this where women get together and talk, they are scared of what they imagine they're saying

There is an aspect as well of women not affording enough respect to the mighty penis, and we all know how well that goes down with men ie not at all well.

Its' quite interesting really.

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

Yes, because the way women and their bodies are talked about in the press and online comments sections (er daily fail...) are not revolting, insulting and objectifying at all...

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

That was to minecraft btw

[MinecraftWonder]

Fucking hell, you really think that?

Why on Earth would you think I think that? Can you read?

[ShebaShimmyShake]

I knew if I came back there would be morons telling me that by saying the OP was ignoring the tidal wave of sexist bullshit women face in the public eye, media and streets every single day to pick on a slightly crass discussion on Mumsnet, I was actively advocating harassing men. You can't fight stupid.

It's always like this. Women are objectified and treated like shit every day of the week, in adverts, in mainstream media, in lads' mags, on PUA websites, in rape and death threats on Twitter and the internet in general, on LinkedIn, on the very streets we walk. But it's only when one of them publicises it as an issue, or has a crass discussion on Mumsnet that suddenly the idiot brigade decides there's a problem...and lo and behold, it's the women.

I am genuinely laughing at the idea that it's not seen as acceptable to make vile comments about women on the internet. Whatever planet/rock you people live on, I want to join you.

Internalised misogyny plus stupid is a nasty combination. You'd think I'd have got used to it by now.

[thehypocritesoaf]

You really think men have got it worse because a small minority of women comment about cock size?

You don't think men do anything unkind about women's bodies at all?

That really is an unusual position to argue.

[DiscoGoGo]

Minecraft I don't really know what to say.

You think that in the world of sexual crime, sexual misbehaviour, disrespect and general unpleasantness, women are worse than men. On the internet, in real life too maybe.

That is honestly quite mad.

Men are all over the internet talking about women's bodies and what they want to do to them and how they'd like to destroy them and all sorts of stuff. I think it might be you who's naive.

[MinecraftWonder]

Male dominated forums are notorious for the topics they get stuck into, and actual sex related threats and so forth are usually issued by men usually to women to shut them up

And that is viewed as acceptable? Just a laugh? Is it really?

No. It's not. I'm not saying male objectifying of women, or talking or piss taking about breasts or genitals doesn't happen.

I'm saying that for women to piss take about mens genitalia (which was the point of the op) is generally seen as more acceptable.

Christ, some even just posted it...paraphrasing but some scathing remark about it only being silly women joking about cocks. Because of course that's nothing AKA 'acceptable' to the masses.

[DiscoGoGo]

Also, I agree with Sheba.

I would also query, if a woman decided to look for threads on male discussion sites, talking about women and their bodies and sex, and she jumps in and says "hold on that's not very nice, you shouldn't do that", what sort of reaction she might expect....

[DiscoGoGo]

Of course it's entirely acceptable for men to talk to each other that way on the internet. And in the pub. And on a building site. And anywhere there are groups of men and they want to, really.

And for the last time, women (almost all of them, almost all of the time) have WAY better things to talk about than men's cocks.

The people most likely to be joking about dick size, IME, are men. The people most likely to be talking about dicks, are men. Women do not care nearly so much about men's cocks as men like to think they do.

[TiggyD]

women (almost all of them, almost all of the time) have WAY better things to talk about than men's cocks. - Was it not Confucius who said "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money"?

[MinecraftWonder]

I disagree that it's viewed as the same Disco.

A couple arguing in a pub. If he shouted at her that she had a slack fanny and flat chest I can imagine that, in the main, the reaction would be .

If she shouted at him that he had a tiny dick and withered balls I can imagine there would still be but also a fair few titters and giggles, possibly even support.

BECAUSE women have been objectified for so long by men, the tide is turning and IMO sexist/objectifying comments by women towards men are minimised as a type of acceptable revenge. The same way that racism today towards white people is generally (not always but generally) seen as more less horrific than the other way around - because of the history. By and large, they're not the marginalised group so abuse the other way is seen as fair game.

[MinecraftWonder]

Seen as less horrific that should be.

[DiscoGoGo]

Well we'll have to agree to disagree minecraft.

I think lots of men would piss themselves laughing at what both the man and the woman shouted, lots of women too, a certain amount of the laughter would be a bit shocked/embarrassed on both sides.

Unless the fight looked like it was going to get physical in which case there would be a certain element of people standing around looking a bit worried.

FWIW women get called fucking ugly bitches, and frigid cows, and that their tits are too big / too small and that their arses are too big / too small, and occasionally get drinks chucked over them or asked to step outside for a fight by men who are unhappy that the women has declined his generous offer to get better acquainted with his mighty penis. Maybe that makes you feel a bit better about stuff.

Oh and of course their actual groins get groped too, sometimes with a comment on what the man feels to his mates.

Oh and when I was at school there was a "thing" about trying to tell if women had pubes or not on the beach by seeing the profile of their groin in their swimming costume. I'd forgotten about that. Yeah totally unacceptable.

[DiscoGoGo]

Withered balls I mean who would even say that.

Women don't come out with this stuff, on the whole.

I have never heard a woman insult a man by saying he had "withered balls". I have literally never heard that phrase before in my life! That sort of comment is, again, men isn't it. Shooting blanks, jaffa, these are all terms that were taught to me by men that they learnt at school to insult each other.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Gotta love the inability to see the difference between piss taking and outright hatred and threats of abuse. Piss taking is of course cruel, crass and wrong, but it's not comparable to outright threats of violence and endless misogynistic portrayals and judgment. NO I AM NOT ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO HARASS MEN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL HIS ANGELS OF EGALITARIANISM.

An immature discussion about cock size on Mumsnet, ffs. That gets people angrier than professional women being harassed on LinkedIn, subjected to rape and death threats on Twitter, being pictured dumped in skips in lads' magazines (you think I'm making this up?), deemed unfit to vote on manosphere websites (you don't believe me?), groped in public (want to know how many times this has happened to me?), endlessly judged on their bodies and clothes no matter how successful they are and what the fuck else. No, I don't care about the silly cock size necro thread. NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'M ADVOCATING HARASSING MEN. APPARENTLY I NEED TO KEEP SAYING THAT.

I do understand why so many women internalise the misogyny though. They know fine well what kind of treatment they can expect if they challenge it rather than appease the twats by saying, 'Yes, women absolutely are xyz but I'M not a typical woman so you can be good to me....'