To think that a double standard applies to cock size?

[Babycham1979]

Sorry in advance, this is a thread about a thread. On the sex forum, there was a discussion about whether you can assess a guy's cock size based on any other part of his body (of course you can't).

However, it strikes me that the way women discuss men's dicks would be considered utterly unacceptable if the sexes were reversed. Surely, a big cock is no different to a tight vagina (and a small one, a very loose vagina), but if men regularly and publicly made jokes about, or compared women's tightness/looseness, they'd be strung up from the nearest lamppost.

AIBU?

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

sits here frantically doing her pelvic floor

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

Thing is, I have discussed penis size with my friends, in a casual sort of way. Obviously we discuss other things ( like cars and money), but it has come up. For instance I know my best friends ex FwB was huge, because she mentioned it.
My friends and I have also discussed orgasms and stds. I guess we talk quite openly about a lot of things.
I don't think I have ever had a conversation where one of them has made a joke about a man they have slept with having a small penis. Personally, I wouldn't comment about a boyfriends attributes in a negative way, because I think we should all be kind to one another.
However In the grand scheme of things, while its not nice to slag off anyone because of a body part they can't help, it's a tiny drop in the ocean of mysoginistic abuse and body shaming that is directed at girls and women all the time.
Come to think of it, I can think of occasions when young men I know have made comments about the vaginas of women they have slept with. My friends was hit on by the very nice husband of one of her oldest friends at a party, where he drunkenly told her that sex with his wife was like waving a flag in space. I think she wishes she didn't know that.

[badtime]

but I've never, ever seen a stag party going around with plastic or inflatable vaginas.

False tits though? You've seen that, right? I have.

(btw, I have also never discussed cock size with my friends).

BTW, Minecraft, are you familiar with the psychological concept of 'projection'? It doesn't mean what it seems to mean on MN, but it is what you are doing.

The replies to me are deliberately disingenuous IMO - there's not much you can say in respond if you insist on banging your drum and misunderstanding.

You are the one who is being disingenuous and appearing to deliberately misunderstand. You are focusing on a very specific comparison, complete with made-up data, to show that women are worse than men. Fictitious women gossiping with their equally fictitious friends, a hypothetical argument in a pub, hen parties (but not stag parties) and a few posters on a four year old thread are worse than the objectification of women's bodies that pervades our culture. It is also worse than the harassment, abuse and sexual assaults which many women face just for existing while female.

No-one is saying that objectifying men is okay; anyway, this sort of objectification is harmful to the people doing it as well as those on the receiving end. However, the idea that poor men have this much worse because of a few small-dick jokes, in the face of an entire culture where women are punished for attempting to take an active role is society, while being reduced to an aggregation of body parts is, as they say 'misconceived'.

You are wrong, and you are so wrong that it seems impossible that you don't have at least an inkling of how absurd your views are.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I read the title and wondered what size "double standard" was. Like twice average?

[thehypocritesoaf]

It is astounding that you are trying to pretend that women objectify the bodies of men as much as men objectify the bodies of women.

[thehypocritesoaf]

Utter double standards?

Because a minority of women on a hen night have inflatable cocks, you believe that the majority of women are obsessed with the size of cocks?
Whereas men, such gentlemen, would never pay hundreds to gawp at tits and fanny, or travel to East Europe to see it cheaper.

You've got a really warped view of women- and men.

[Senpai]

I was talking about the mythical bar argument that minecraft was using as a discussion point, senpai, not the history of humour. It's a subtle difference, but an important one. 'Raight' was a joke though... in case of any doubt.

Yes, I understood the snark, and even that the "Raight" was a play on words based on the "Naice ham". I was agreeing with you, and pointing out that you never will hear those because of reasons listened. If you're going to lecture me about "not understanding" your post the least you could do is take the time to understand mine.

[IrishDad79]

Need I also mention the seemingly endless procession of insufferable hen parties every weekend with their sordid (and seemingly compulsory) array of plastic and inflatable cocks in tow (one in front of my 4yo son in the middle of the afternoon - nice). I'm sure there are stag groups whose behaviour falls well short of acceptable social norms, but I've never, ever seen a stag party going around with plastic or inflatable vaginas. Indeed, most stag groups in Britain and Ireland have to disguise the fact that they are a stag group just to be let in anywhere. Utter double standards.

[elQuintoConyo]

I love cock. But I have never discussed cocks with anyone, ever. I'm not crass.

Why the actual fuck would I tell my friends anything about my dh's cock? I obviously like what it does, I put a ring on it

[MinecraftWonder]

Slugs, I think I just as soon talk to the wall tbh.

The replies to me are deliberately disingenuous IMO - there's not much you can say in respond if you insist on banging your drum and misunderstanding.

[madwomanbackintheattic]

I was talking about the mythical bar argument that minecraft was using as a discussion point, senpai, not the history of humour. It's a subtle difference, but an important one. 'Raight' was a joke though... in case of any doubt.

[LumelaMme]

Do you recall that Page 3 that The Sun used to do? And still does online?
Sure you do.
Do you recall The Sun running the Page 5 Daily Cock, Well-Endowed Willy (!!) from Walthamstow, or Erect Eric, 18?
No, I don't either. Because women's bodies are fair game in a way that men's just aren't. And it pisses me off. Perhaps I'm feeling a tad sensitive because DD was cat-called by some unpleasant youths the other evening, and it clearly bothered her, and having to explain to her that they were being insulting arseholes bothered me. She's 13, FFS: it starts already.

I've been racking my brains, and I can remember exactly one occasion when I discussed a bloke's dick with a friend, and that was nothing to do with its size. On the other hand, I've known men discuss the body of a woman who is in their earshot. I've been goosed and groped: the last man who tried it I threatened to knee in the nuts. He was rather startled.

Men talk way more offensively about women's bodies than women do about men's. That's no reason for women to start behaving like dickheads, but pur-leze don't expect me to accept that poor little men discussing a woman's attributes 'would be strung up from the nearest lamppost'.

[Senpai]

Perhaps I am hanging out in the wrong type of bar? Or the raight type of bar?

Or perhaps size jokes are only a "thing" because men themselves take pride in their size, so jokes about it aren't body shaming men so much as knocking their ego down a peg. It's a subtle difference but an important one.

So a testicle or vagina joke wouldn't be acceptable in the same way, and probably wouldn't be told in even by drunken rowdy friends in a bar.

[madwomanbackintheattic]

On a technicality, although I am familiar with the term 'jaffa' being used to indicate seedlessness, in these here parts in means 'just another fucking adminer'.
As you were.
I can also not fathom the idea that I am ever likely to encounter a slanging match in the pub where the terms 'slack fanny' and 'withered balls' might make an appearance. Perhaps I am hanging out in the wrong type of bar? Or the raight type of bar?

[Senpai]

I'd wager that most women, particularly close friends and sisters, discuss their DH's/BF's cock size amongst each other.

No. We don't.

We make crude jokes about cocks, sizes, and whether a man may or may not have a nice one. We'll even giggle and point at an over modded or loud car driving by and make a snarky remark about botched circumcisions. But it's pretty taboo to discuss the actual size or girth of your partner's penis or how he actually is in bed. As an adult the only time sex talk actually comes up is if you're TTC and want advice, but the man really doesn't come into the talk.

Also... Just in case you were wondering... We don't have pillow fights in our underwear when we sleep over either. Sorry.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Gotta love the inability to see the difference between piss taking and outright hatred and threats of abuse. Piss taking is of course cruel, crass and wrong, but it's not comparable to outright threats of violence and endless misogynistic portrayals and judgment. NO I AM NOT ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO HARASS MEN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL HIS ANGELS OF EGALITARIANISM.

An immature discussion about cock size on Mumsnet, ffs. That gets people angrier than professional women being harassed on LinkedIn, subjected to rape and death threats on Twitter, being pictured dumped in skips in lads' magazines (you think I'm making this up?), deemed unfit to vote on manosphere websites (you don't believe me?), groped in public (want to know how many times this has happened to me?), endlessly judged on their bodies and clothes no matter how successful they are and what the fuck else. No, I don't care about the silly cock size necro thread. NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'M ADVOCATING HARASSING MEN. APPARENTLY I NEED TO KEEP SAYING THAT.

I do understand why so many women internalise the misogyny though. They know fine well what kind of treatment they can expect if they challenge it rather than appease the twats by saying, 'Yes, women absolutely are xyz but I'M not a typical woman so you can be good to me....'

[DiscoGoGo]

Withered balls I mean who would even say that.

Women don't come out with this stuff, on the whole.

I have never heard a woman insult a man by saying he had "withered balls". I have literally never heard that phrase before in my life! That sort of comment is, again, men isn't it. Shooting blanks, jaffa, these are all terms that were taught to me by men that they learnt at school to insult each other.

[DiscoGoGo]

Well we'll have to agree to disagree minecraft.

I think lots of men would piss themselves laughing at what both the man and the woman shouted, lots of women too, a certain amount of the laughter would be a bit shocked/embarrassed on both sides.

Unless the fight looked like it was going to get physical in which case there would be a certain element of people standing around looking a bit worried.

FWIW women get called fucking ugly bitches, and frigid cows, and that their tits are too big / too small and that their arses are too big / too small, and occasionally get drinks chucked over them or asked to step outside for a fight by men who are unhappy that the women has declined his generous offer to get better acquainted with his mighty penis. Maybe that makes you feel a bit better about stuff.

Oh and of course their actual groins get groped too, sometimes with a comment on what the man feels to his mates.

Oh and when I was at school there was a "thing" about trying to tell if women had pubes or not on the beach by seeing the profile of their groin in their swimming costume. I'd forgotten about that. Yeah totally unacceptable.

[MinecraftWonder]

Seen as less horrific that should be.

[MinecraftWonder]

I disagree that it's viewed as the same Disco.

A couple arguing in a pub. If he shouted at her that she had a slack fanny and flat chest I can imagine that, in the main, the reaction would be .

If she shouted at him that he had a tiny dick and withered balls I can imagine there would still be but also a fair few titters and giggles, possibly even support.

BECAUSE women have been objectified for so long by men, the tide is turning and IMO sexist/objectifying comments by women towards men are minimised as a type of acceptable revenge. The same way that racism today towards white people is generally (not always but generally) seen as more less horrific than the other way around - because of the history. By and large, they're not the marginalised group so abuse the other way is seen as fair game.

[TiggyD]

women (almost all of them, almost all of the time) have WAY better things to talk about than men's cocks. - Was it not Confucius who said "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money"?

[DiscoGoGo]

Of course it's entirely acceptable for men to talk to each other that way on the internet. And in the pub. And on a building site. And anywhere there are groups of men and they want to, really.

And for the last time, women (almost all of them, almost all of the time) have WAY better things to talk about than men's cocks.

The people most likely to be joking about dick size, IME, are men. The people most likely to be talking about dicks, are men. Women do not care nearly so much about men's cocks as men like to think they do.

[DiscoGoGo]

Also, I agree with Sheba.

I would also query, if a woman decided to look for threads on male discussion sites, talking about women and their bodies and sex, and she jumps in and says "hold on that's not very nice, you shouldn't do that", what sort of reaction she might expect....

[MinecraftWonder]

Male dominated forums are notorious for the topics they get stuck into, and actual sex related threats and so forth are usually issued by men usually to women to shut them up

And that is viewed as acceptable? Just a laugh? Is it really?

No. It's not. I'm not saying male objectifying of women, or talking or piss taking about breasts or genitals doesn't happen.

I'm saying that for women to piss take about mens genitalia (which was the point of the op) is generally seen as more acceptable.

Christ, some even just posted it...paraphrasing but some scathing remark about it only being silly women joking about cocks. Because of course that's nothing AKA 'acceptable' to the masses.