To think that going out with the "girls" isn't the B all and end all and that maybe these people need to grow up and stop dumping their kids on people so that they can go out and get drunk!

[Suzi78]

Just that really. I have shall we say aquaintences on Facebook who I've known from various places, work, college, school etc and their posts are full of nights out, holidays, lunches etc and this is all they seem to care about. There are four women in particular, three of whom are single parents (if you can call it that) and the other is married. There Facebook feeds are all about how they can't wait to dump the kids on their fathers at the weekend as they can't wait to go clubbing, to parties, concerts etc etc, but are dreading their hangovers the next day!

Now I know that everyone is entitled to a bit of me time and shouldn't be begrudged a night out but with these women it's every single week! Three of them don't even work so I don't know how they afford to go out every week as well as buying a new outfit, getting their hair done weekly, manicures etc.
As far a I'm concerned (before anyone suggests it, and I know that they will) I'm not jealous, I'm relitively happy with my life and could chose to go out every weekend if I wanted to as I have enough friends who socialise in different circles and I'm always invited to go out, but I work all week, my children go to after school club so weekends are for family time. Now I know that people do things differently and whilst that's all good I don't know how these women can just dump their kids every week not spend any time with them and spend their money on goog out when their kids need things first. I know I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I dot care, I think it's disgrace, a parent is supposed to put her kids before everything (within reason) and clearly these women don't give a damn and would rather spend their time getting drunk on nights out than with their child and spend money on flashy clothes and haircuts rather than on their children, AIBU to think this is kind of sad?

I didn't see anything in the op's post that suggested she hated single parents only that she wondered how they could afford to go out drinking every week and buy clothes etc etc. And by jove she got flamed good stylee!

I have got a bit lost in the sea of vitriol directed at her.

No. The money thing wasn't her point. It's yours though for some reason.

OP's question was about how anyone could want to spend Saturday night away from their DC. But expressed in a massively unpleasant way and without explaining what any of it has to do with her.

Grilled don't let this get to you. Everyone has their battles trying to fit into a society that judges them harshly.

I have a SN son, he behaved like a little shit at football practice today and I was being judged with dirty looks left, right and centre for my 'defective' parenting because he looks so 'normal'. You have to just let vicious, vindictive humans like the OP wash over you. There actually is one such parent at the football practice and I just think really nasty thoughts in my head while she spouts her random BS and ignore, ignore, ignore. Makes me feel better.

Don't think everyone thinks like the OP, I consider myself extremely fortunate to be in a happy marriage but I am not naieve enough to think others have all walked my path. We play the hand we are dealt that is all any of us can do.

""yeah right, keep telling yourself that, no amount of pissing it up with friends, going out every weekend, sleeping with randomers will ever compare to a stable family life, good luck to you all.""

That reflects hatred.

It's as though the OP is accusing SP of choosing to have their relationship end, so they can party.

In my case, I was widowed. I didn't go out drinking when I was married, I had "Mummy" friends, similar to the OP ( but I wasn't judgy).

Then after my life was turned upside down, I made the best of it and went out straight after work, at the weekend. My children were settled in my Mums.

I had a really good time and don't regret any of it, including/especially the sex. Buying a bigger house etc couldn't of been part of my plans, as a single person, so I spent my share of our disposable income on drinking etc.

My children had a wonderful relationship with my Mum (who remained at home until she died, because we all cared for her).

My DDs are now adults and they, or our relationship haven't suffered for me not being sat at home.

None of my DDs will be Girlfriend/Mummy martyrs, they know their worth, whether in a relationship, or single.

I've been happily single for two years, but I'm going to start dating and going out, just before Christmas.

Technically, I'm no longer a LP, otherwise the OP would have my permission to judge me, so she's leaving someone who might give a shit, alone.

Actually I think very few people 'think' (I use the word in the loosest possible terms) like the OP. I'm not even sure the OP thinks as she pretends to. I am convinced this is goady fuckery in action and the idea that anyone is getting upset about it just makes me angry.
OP who the actual fuck do you think you are to post, in public and in a place where you KNOW you'll hit your target, in such a way as to actually upset people? How the fuck dare you? I hope all this has made you happy although frankly I doubt it - people like you will die unhappy. Even if this has all been a big joke to you I want you to remember this when your world comes crashing down around you - and it will. It really will. Meanwhile - fuck you - and I say that on behalf of all the much nicer people who you have upset.

Good point farfrom you are right this is pretty right wing shit even by right wing standards.

£50 would buy me a better night out than £30 I reckon. Will that do you?

How on earth is that relevant to how single parents can afford a night out? £100 would get you an even better night but it still doesnt mean thats what everyone spends when they go out.

Wrt clothes/nails etc. pretty much every single item of clothing i own comes from my sister's wardrobe. She buys gorgeous stuff and some never even has the label off before she passes it on to me. Hair and nails: i go to my local training college. Hair cut £6 (every 3/4 months) nails £4 (i dont get them done though) my tan comes out of a £2.99 St Moritz bottle that lasts a fair while. I also know a lot of hair and beauty people having qualified as a beauty therapist pre kids so if i need an updo or nails for a wedding etc. then i can usually get a friend to do it for me.

The poster got flamed for saying single women shouldn't dump their children on their fathers and go out with their friends. Most responders disagree that the fathers having the children for a couple of nights a week is dumping them and also that while the children are away the single women should be able to let their hair down however they see fit.

Sorry you're getting flamed here OP. I know exactly what you mean.
I haven't read through the entire thread which is not the done thing I realise.

Of course, we all have our own way of living & I don't think that YABU in your opinion.

Haha op. What about the lazy dick fathers who dump the kids five days a week? I imagine they spend even less money on their kids then the feckless single mothers do. Any comments to make about them?

I'm a single parent, it's part of our custody arrangements that ex has the kids overnight once a fortnight. I'm not 'dumping' them on anyone. I don't go out every week because I'm too knackered but after worrying about everything all week like how I'm going to make the pitiful maintenance ex pays me last the month etc, then damn right I want to let my hair down. My kids don't sleep well, so the evenings aren't my own, all week I do everything with them, so I think I deserve some me time now & then.
OP, it must be nice in your perfect little world but try a little empathy.

Just back from The Intern, can't believe this shite is still floating

Your all doing it wrong, if your worried about what a taxi home will cost etc and your taking home a "random"

You don't keep a dog and bark yourself (lowers tone completely).

Taxi Birds? Taxi? Luxury! We had to make do with a thropping over the back of an abandoned Ford Fiesta in Somerfield's carpark!

I used to be one of those parents. As pps have said, what was I supposed to do, stay at home watching shit on tv and eating fried egg sandwiches because I cba to cook for one?

Ha op. What about the lazy dick fathers who dump their kids five days a week?. I imagine they spend less money on the kids than the feckless single mothers do. Anything comments to make about them.

What do you think. The absent parent always gets a fuckin pat on the back and not even a hint of criticism, not just by op and her likes but by the government, too.
Call me Dave and his side kick Gideon contually finding new ways to hound lone parents forcing them into work which may not be suitable. Having them worried sick about the post in case it's a sanction letter, but what they should be doing is hunting down and hounding the absent parent, but no, that will never happen as lone parents like the poor unemployed, sick mentally ill and disabled, they're easy targets and if we don't know after 5years and 5 months that this government can only fight against the vulnerable, we'll never know.
Sorry for the political rant, but it makes my blood bloody boil.

eating fried egg sandwiches because I cba to cook for one? confused

YABVU there is nothing wrong with fried egg sandwiches

Well, well, well Suzi.
Quite the sanctimonious cunt aren't we?

How's that working out for you by the way?

Me, too. On fried bread.

May I suggest that Suzi has a fried egg sandwich, washed down with a couple of bottles of shiraz, a dance around her handbag and a good hard ride.

Then come back and we'll resume the conversation Suze

No need to thank me.

I've just had a fried egg butty

Ah, I have two sides to this.

Firstly, the kids spending time with their dads is not the kids being dumped. It's good for the kids and good for their dads and gives the mums a bit of time too. I don't have that but my severely autistic son goes to a respite centre on a Friday night and comes home 4pm Saturday afternoon. Years ago I was accused of 'dumping' him to go out - I wasn't dumping him, I was having a much needed break and I only went 'out' a few times a year and that was meals or theatre or once or twice an 80's club where I actually just ignored everyone there and danced completely oblivious to everything!! I had music, I was happy however, with being a single mum comes all the stereotypes and people will just decide you're doing something you aren't, because others do. I've never been on the pull in my life!!! Last weekend my son had a heavy cold and stayed home and after an awful week I wanted to 'escape'. Not the drinking kind, I just wanted to leave the house for even 5 bloody minutes and just do something -anything!

On the other hand, I'm with you OP in not getting the need to be out getting hammered all the time. But it's different strokes for different folks. People do what they like, but I don't see the appeal and it must cost a bomb!

But then I may be classed as 'boring' just as you have been - last night I went 'out' for the first time in over 3 years I had tickets to see a musical at the theatre and after originally planning on going out on my own (which was a celebratory moment in one respect!!!!) my 18 year old niece came down from Swindon so got her an extra ticket. Got to the theatre to find it was cancelled so took my niece for dinner. She chose Nandos (which I will never step foot in again -why do people love it so much? Overpriced basic food and it's waay too loud to have a conversation) and after that I was home and in pj's at 9pm after getting that 'I should be home' feeling that I think is related to motherhood and leaves you appreciating your family more. Oh, and I don't drink either. So I'll be joining you on the boring couch, budge up!

Actually, I'll add to that: if it wasn't a loud, young noisy playing with their phones place like Nandos we ended up at, I may not have got the 'I should be at home' feeling quite as early as I did, but possibly so!

Ive never had a fried egg sandwich in my life. I quite fancy one now.