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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going out with the "girls" isn't the B all and end all and that maybe these people need to grow up and stop dumping their kids on people so that they can go out and get drunk!

438 replies

Suzi78 · 03/10/2015 15:28

Just that really. I have shall we say aquaintences on Facebook who I've known from various places, work, college, school etc and their posts are full of nights out, holidays, lunches etc and this is all they seem to care about. There are four women in particular, three of whom are single parents (if you can call it that) and the other is married. There Facebook feeds are all about how they can't wait to dump the kids on their fathers at the weekend as they can't wait to go clubbing, to parties, concerts etc etc, but are dreading their hangovers the next day!

Now I know that everyone is entitled to a bit of me time and shouldn't be begrudged a night out but with these women it's every single week! Three of them don't even work so I don't know how they afford to go out every week as well as buying a new outfit, getting their hair done weekly, manicures etc.
As far a I'm concerned (before anyone suggests it, and I know that they will) I'm not jealous, I'm relitively happy with my life and could chose to go out every weekend if I wanted to as I have enough friends who socialise in different circles and I'm always invited to go out, but I work all week, my children go to after school club so weekends are for family time. Now I know that people do things differently and whilst that's all good I don't know how these women can just dump their kids every week not spend any time with them and spend their money on goog out when their kids need things first. I know I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I dot care, I think it's disgrace, a parent is supposed to put her kids before everything (within reason) and clearly these women don't give a damn and would rather spend their time getting drunk on nights out than with their child and spend money on flashy clothes and haircuts rather than on their children, AIBU to think this is kind of sad?

OP posts:
AccidentalNameChange · 03/10/2015 18:34

I think she's just hard of thinking.

Liomsa · 03/10/2015 18:35

Suzi, I think the jealousy has emerged nakedly enough now, thank you very much. I personally would take any number of drunken nights out and varied sex over your smug, judgemental, sexist version of 'stable family life'.

fedupbutfine · 03/10/2015 18:35

oh...and why do you assume we're all sleeping with 'randomers'? do you think that being a single parent means we have no moral compass? did you not have a number of boyfriends before your husband? did you not test the waters a bit and work out who you wanted to be with? At no point have I suggested I go out to have one night stands...but I do have sex within a stable relationship and I do strut my stuff on a dance floor...and when single, I have snogged the odd man and shared a bag of chips....why does it bother you?

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:35

Actually less than a tenner because i split a coke between two drinks.

LoveChickens · 03/10/2015 18:37

Oh OP that was really nasty.

Waltermittythesequel · 03/10/2015 18:39

Runalong and have a nice bottle and a 'gab' while your poor, deprived children are left to their own devices then.

I hope you straighten yourself out before SS come calling.

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:39

no amount of pissing it up with friends, going out every weekend, sleeping with randomers will ever compare to a stable family life, good luck to you all.

My family is perfectly stable you idiot. I pity you living in such a tiny bubble. I hope it doesnt pop on you any time soon, you dont sound like you could cope.

KimKK · 03/10/2015 18:40

I think it's far more harmful for a child to grow up with a judgmental nasty mother than it is one who has an active social life.

BlueBlueBelles · 03/10/2015 18:41

Fedupbutfine but single mums are those who have no morals. They're the ones who corrupt married men, and steal them away. They have no morals and sleep around, dropping their knickers at the first chance they get. Whilst people like the OP pearl clutch

FriendofBill · 03/10/2015 18:41

Unmarried mothers?

Have them committed and their children adopted.

BlueBlueBelles · 03/10/2015 18:41

And I used to quite easily go out on £10. Walk to town. Walk back at 4am. Three diet cokes at £1 each. A handful of jäger shots at £1 each. Chip butty on way home.

KittensandKids · 03/10/2015 18:41

I am happier single, if I weren't then I would attempt to change this.

ou are coming across as being a very small minded bitch.

Qwertybynature · 03/10/2015 18:42

Here's an idea. There's a button on Facebook that lets you unfollow people you are 'friends' with. Why don't you use that? Save you having a hernia about people going out and having fun.

fedupbutfine · 03/10/2015 18:43

yeah, bluebluebelles, you're probably right Wink

No morals...none at all!

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/10/2015 18:43

LoveChickens - don't pay any notice. If she's for real, women like that are far sadder than they would ever like to admit. They live their lives being martyrs to their kids and husbands, and when the rest of the world doesn't give them recognition for it, they become bitter and resentful. They are more than able to point out others' flaws, but it's only a reflection of what they feel they have denied themselves (even if it is self imposed). Being 'nasty' is the only way they can react when people point out that their way of living, the life they spend every day convincing themselves is making them happy, isn't perfect or for everyone.

PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2015 18:43

Does anyone else think the op is deliberately trying to be as provocative as possible? All single people are just deluding themselves that they are happy and they would all be better in a relationship? What an absolute load of rubbish.

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:44

Imagine having a husband that prefers to spend his weekends in the pub than with you! Poor OP. If thats stable family life she's welcome to it. I wonder why he isnt lambasted with the same bile as these other parents are getting from OP. I mean he is 'dumping' his kids on their other parent, like these women are. Except the parent he dumps them on is actually drunk while caring for them!

Only1scoop · 03/10/2015 18:44

Agree what a sad and unhappy character you must be to expend so much venom on something totally out of your silly....little....bubble.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 03/10/2015 18:46

"This is the last thing I'll say on this thread, and I say it with every ouce of my body, you "love" being single?.....yeah right, keep telling yourself that, no amount of pissing it up with friends, going out every weekend, sleeping with randomers will ever compare to a stable family life, good luck to you all."

^^

gemdrop84 · 03/10/2015 18:48

I can't see why that's an issue, I spent every Friday and majority of Saturday at my grandparents until I was about 14...I don't understand, is it the going out every week or "dumping the kids" that bothers you? Each to their own, not my cup of tea.

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:50

I get 24 hours a fortnight 'off' from parenting (if Exp turns up) if i want to go half a mile down the hill to the bar and spend a tenner trying to hear my friends talking over the music during those 24 hours then i bloody well will and i'll never feel guilty about it.

laughingatweather · 03/10/2015 18:52

In my experience; people who are happy with their lives really don't give a shit what other people do with theirs.

I'm so sorry OP that you feel your life is unfulfilled and you are unhappy.

Try not to take your dissatisfaction and bitterness out on other people in the future. It's so transparent.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 03/10/2015 18:52

You're not going to like this but you are jealous, why else would you give a shiny shit what other people are doing, and further more. Why would you have started this thread, to rant about their social lives. They're not "Dumpng their kids on you are they... And how the bloody hell can you dump a child on their other parent.
Good God. How very dare a they have the audacity to have a life outside of their children.
You think people are entitled to an occasional night out, well that's very kind of you.Hmm.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 03/10/2015 18:52

*They aren't working so how can they afford it?

What the actual fuck has it got to do with anyone else? hmm*

Nothing at all. I'm just wondering how they manage it while I work and can't afford to have a social life even if I wanted one. But you're response is what I was expecting so thank you for not disappointing me.

ghostyslovesheep · 03/10/2015 18:52

Oh bless you op you are just being daft now - sleeping around isn't the go to hobby of every single harlot woman you know Hmm

and yes I really really am very very happy being single - I have turned down 3 very nice blokes this year alone. I love my little family of 4, our beautiful home and my well paid job - I get a huge amount from being with my amazing, funny, loving and silly friends

I think it's sad some women need a man to validate them - happy family life gets fucked over every day - be very careful your smugness doesn't come back and bite your bum