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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going out with the "girls" isn't the B all and end all and that maybe these people need to grow up and stop dumping their kids on people so that they can go out and get drunk!

438 replies

Suzi78 · 03/10/2015 15:28

Just that really. I have shall we say aquaintences on Facebook who I've known from various places, work, college, school etc and their posts are full of nights out, holidays, lunches etc and this is all they seem to care about. There are four women in particular, three of whom are single parents (if you can call it that) and the other is married. There Facebook feeds are all about how they can't wait to dump the kids on their fathers at the weekend as they can't wait to go clubbing, to parties, concerts etc etc, but are dreading their hangovers the next day!

Now I know that everyone is entitled to a bit of me time and shouldn't be begrudged a night out but with these women it's every single week! Three of them don't even work so I don't know how they afford to go out every week as well as buying a new outfit, getting their hair done weekly, manicures etc.
As far a I'm concerned (before anyone suggests it, and I know that they will) I'm not jealous, I'm relitively happy with my life and could chose to go out every weekend if I wanted to as I have enough friends who socialise in different circles and I'm always invited to go out, but I work all week, my children go to after school club so weekends are for family time. Now I know that people do things differently and whilst that's all good I don't know how these women can just dump their kids every week not spend any time with them and spend their money on goog out when their kids need things first. I know I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I dot care, I think it's disgrace, a parent is supposed to put her kids before everything (within reason) and clearly these women don't give a damn and would rather spend their time getting drunk on nights out than with their child and spend money on flashy clothes and haircuts rather than on their children, AIBU to think this is kind of sad?

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 03/10/2015 18:19

drinking in moderation isn't a sin whether you have children or not, getting plastered is!

According to who? The children of these awful people are with their grandparents or aunts or whatever so in what world is it a "sin" for their mums to hit the jaegerbombs (are they still a thing?)

BlueBlueBelles · 03/10/2015 18:20

Bravo fedupbutfine

We are single. Not shit on your shoe.

But God, what if we are contagious fedup? What if when we go out drinking in the pub, we bump into OPs husband and in our slaggy drunken ways corrupt him and steal him for our own!???

Waltermittythesequel · 03/10/2015 18:21

it's the norm for a lot of people, drinking in moderation isn't a sin whether you have children or not

Glad to see you've changed your mind, OP and that you realise these women drinking once a week is fine.

Nice chatting with you :)

fastdaytears · 03/10/2015 18:21

we bump into OPs husband and in our slaggy drunken ways corrupt him and steal him for our own!

Sorry but no chance. The OP has Netflix and a lifetime supply of judgypants. She's a keeper.

SassyPasty · 03/10/2015 18:22

OP it's FINE for you to drink at home with your friends.

It's FINE for your friends to drink out with their friends.

It's FINE for anyone to stay home, watch strictly and drink a cup of tea.

It's FINE for anyone to do whatever they fucking well want to do you sanctimonious fool.

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:22

So let me get this straight are we saying that people, including couples are not allowed to ever have a glass or two of wine, beer of a weekend etc in their own homes if there children are playing upstairs or otherwise asleep, safe in their own beds?.......wow!

Now you see what it is like being judged for what you think is perfectly reasonable behaviour. Its not nice is it?

ghostyslovesheep · 03/10/2015 18:23

I'm single and fabulous - heck we all are - I didn't plan for my husband to run off with another woman but I love being single - seriously - and I love my mates and I love getting silly with them

I have never driven drunk so stop dripping that shit into your silly argument to try and make more people support you!

fedupbutfine · 03/10/2015 18:24

But God, what if we are contagious fedup? What if when we go out drinking in the pub, we bump into OPs husband and in our slaggy drunken ways corrupt him and steal him for our own!???

oooh...I know who the OP is now...she's that one in the school playground who with every exaggerated, deliberate movementsgrabs her husband's arm on the school run and pulls him away when she sees me coming....PMSL. Does it really bother you that much, OP?

MissMarpleCat · 03/10/2015 18:24

Never count your chickens op. Lots of lone parents are victims of circumstance, it can happen to anyone my marriage broke down and my now ex h didn't want to fix it to quote fedup.

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:25

drinking in moderation isn't a sin whether you have children or not, getting plastered is!

Do you understand what a 'sin' is? Confused

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 03/10/2015 18:26

I've had a reread of the op.

3 of these 4 women are single parents who don't work. How do they afford to go out weekly if they don't work? Where are they getting the cash from to afford this? If I were to go out locally I could expect to spend at least £30. Further afield add another £20 in taxes to get me home and back and perhaps a bit more for a kebab cos I'm bound to get the munchies so approx £30 - £50 a week partying. They aren't working so how can they afford it? No single parents I know can afford to be going out every week. As for the married one well if my partner decided he wanted to be going EVERY week on the lash while I stay at home with kids I'd have something to say about it as I'm sure a lot of you slagging off the op would.

KittensandKids · 03/10/2015 18:27

Wow you're a delight OP.

I'm a single parent but my DC don't see their Father. However they go to grandparents every now and then. I stay in every weekend after 2 years of being out every weekend

Is that the answer you want?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 03/10/2015 18:28

You started this thread saying they are getting plastered and should be putting children first yet their getting plastered when their children are not in their care.

You on the other hand are drinking and gossiping and not paying attention to your children while they are in your care.

Yes it's perfectly socially acceptable go knock yourself out! But what's it to do with you if some one goes and enjoys themselves while they don't have the responsiablity of their children oh nothing just like its nothing to do with anyone else should your children have an accident while your not paying attention - only oh wait that actually possiably would be like the hospitals and possiably social services! It's a risk you knowingly take, like the risks of getting plastered these other mums take!

Original poster
Suzi78 · 03/10/2015 18:28

This is the last thing I'll say on this thread, and I say it with every ouce of my body, you "love" being single?.....yeah right, keep telling yourself that, no amount of pissing it up with friends, going out every weekend, sleeping with randomers will ever compare to a stable family life, good luck to you all.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 03/10/2015 18:29

I think the way they afford it is: they start off minding their own fucking business and, well, that's it really...

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/10/2015 18:29

Yes, but OP think of it this way. If (goodness forbid) a child had an accident whilst at home. If you were out at the pub, and had left your child with a sober, responsible adult (like grandparents, or your husband, ex, whatever), no one would think anything of it. Now if it had happened whilst you were at home, but had a couple of glasses of wine - how would you take him to the hosptial? How would you feel, knowing that you very likely smell of booze (even not being drunk), and how would you like it that the hosptial would very likely make a note of the fact you smell of that little bit of wine you were drinking with your friends, whilst also childminding? Techincally, you could find yourself in trouble, whilst a parent on a 'night off' wouldn't have that worry, because they were sensible enough to leave their children with a fully sober adult.

LemonPied · 03/10/2015 18:30

Off you fuck then OP.

KittensandKids · 03/10/2015 18:30

ODFOD

Supermanspants · 03/10/2015 18:30

They aren't working so how can they afford it?

What the actual fuck has it got to do with anyone else? Hmm

fedupbutfine · 03/10/2015 18:31

keep telling yourself that, no amount of pissing it up with friends, going out every weekend, sleeping with randomers will ever compare to a stable family life, good luck to you all

so I'll say it again....how, as a single parent, do I get myself a stable family life if I don't got out and meet people?

AccidentalNameChange · 03/10/2015 18:32

One adult families can't constitute a 'stable home life'?

OP you really DO need to get out more you know Grin

Supermanspants · 03/10/2015 18:32

This will be deleted but....
Based on your last post OP why don't you just fuck off you miserable, sanctimonious, self righteous twat

Now that DOES feel better

MissMarpleCat · 03/10/2015 18:33

Op you appear to be projecting a lot of anger onto others.....are you sure you're really as happy as you assert?

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/10/2015 18:33

Yeah, flounce off again why don't you, back to your boring husband, boring friends and boring life. Glad you're done boring the pants off everyone on here, though I'd get those judgypants of yours removed from your backside before people in real life realise what a bore you are, and find more interesting, open minded people to hang around with.

SurlyCue · 03/10/2015 18:34

If I were to go out locally I could expect to spend at least £30. Further afield add another £20 in taxes to get me home and back and perhaps a bit more for a kebab cos I'm bound to get the munchies so approx £30 - £50 a week partying. They aren't working so how can they afford it?

A tenner gets me two drinks out locally. I will usually have a drink or two with friends before i go out. No taxi as i can walk home, always prefer a cup of tea and toast when i get home rather than shitty takeaway full of drunks. Just because it costs you £50 doesnt mean its the same for everyone.