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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner

152 replies

UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 01:16

Our cleaner has worked for us for about 2 years. She comes for one morning a week. Good worker, no issues, although she isn't left alone in the house for long periods. She doesn't have a key so someone has to be at my house to let her in.

She is self-employed, not agency. I pay her the rate she asks which is a fair bit above the living wage and I also instigated an arrangement whereby I still pay her if I cancel her coming, but I don't pay her if she cancels. We arrived at this after some persuasion because I wanted to give her sick pay plus an agreed number of weeks' holiday pay like a normal British employee (she isn't British), but she wouldn't hear of it - said it would be immoral to take money for time she hadn't worked.

So this week I had to cancel because, unavoidably, I couldn't be there to let her in. I don't do this often. Under our arrangement she still gets paid for this week.

She replied with two texts in her language followed by one in English apologising, saying the others were meant for her daughter and wishing me a good day. The two texts in her language mentioned my name so out of curiosity I had them translated and it turns out her opinion of me is pretty low! I was shocked because I've always tried to treat her well.

I no longer feel like this is someone I want in my home or around my DC, especially for spells when I'm not there. WIBU to give her a month's pay in lieu of notice and fire her?

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheLane · 03/10/2015 01:43

No. YANBU. She made a bad mistake.

KoalaDownUnder · 03/10/2015 01:46

YANBU.

I'll be the first to say I'm dying to know what the texts said.

ohtheholidays · 03/10/2015 01:48

I wouldn't give her a months pay,but I would fire her and no YANBU.

selly24 · 03/10/2015 01:49

What did the texts say?....

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 06:39

Glad to hear I'm not BU. I suspect my mother, who often lets her in while I'm at work, will think I am.

The offensive bits of the texts were, "Can you imagine, she thinks I don't need to work?...But UnderTheF1oorboards, that cow, she could have told me yesterday. Parasite."

It seems she's pissed off because she's already got up and washed her hair by the time I cancelled whereas she could have stayed in bed.

Poor love.

I think she needs to go but will still pay her notice because I do feel a bit bad. She and her daughter have one room in a shared house and she recently had to move further out because she couldn't afford rent in our area anymore.

OP posts:
Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 03/10/2015 06:44

A bit of both I think as I would be pissed off if you'd only let me know on the day of work that I wasn't to come in.

daisychain01 · 03/10/2015 06:48

I wouldn't feel that bad. You treated her decently but her attitude to you stinks. Fancy calling the person who has given her employment a parasite Shock

skinoncustard · 03/10/2015 07:07

If you are happy with her work and she is polite to you when you meet I would keep her.
We all sound off to friends/ family about people, ( I know I do ) . If they heard, I would be mortified . Some of the words in the texts may have been lost/embellished in translation ,( and you really shouldn't have read them.) eavesdroppers never hear/read anything good about themselves and all that !

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 07:08

I can see that Footshuffle and if she'd been with us a few weeks I might have let it go but after 2 years I'd have hoped she knew me well enough not to think I was being randomly thoughtless and start calling me a cow.

The reason was (not that I feel I owe it to her to explain) that DS2 had a GP appointment which i only made at 8:00am that same day. Our GP surgery makes you call up on the day as soon as they open.

Another way she might have reacted was, hurray I have the morning off on full pay so now I can go back to bed like I wanted to.

OP posts:
Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 07:09

Not sure that reading something delivered to my phone and containing my name counts as eavesdropping.

OP posts:
Pseudo341 · 03/10/2015 07:17

Have you got the guts to confront her? You gave her as much notice as you could and she's still getting paid so I really don't think you deserve to be spoken of like that. I think I'd be inclined to let her go and tell her why. I wouldn't want someone cleaning my house if that's what they thought of me.

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 07:17

The person who translated for me was another person from her country who lives in the UK.

OP posts:
itmustbeglove · 03/10/2015 07:18

I could totally understand it if she wasn't being paid but as she is, regardless if she works makes it awful.
I wonder if she's got her wires crossed and thinks she won't get her money?

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 07:21

I don't know if I do have the guts to tell her although I guess it will be fairly obvious. She prefers to communicate by text because she is more confident reading English than speaking, and saying something like that by text is a bit rubbish.

OP posts:
twirlypoo · 03/10/2015 07:23

Do you pay cash on the day and she will have to wait till next week to collect it now? I own a cleaning agency and having to wait for cash can seriously affect some of the cleaners cash flow (I've had people in tears because of cancelled jobs even if they will still get paid)

Can I ask why she doesn't have a key? After 2 years don't you trust her?

skinoncustard · 03/10/2015 07:28

She replied with two texts in her language followed by one in English apologising, saying the others were meant for her daughter and wishing me a good day. The two texts in her language mentioned my name so out of curiosity I had them translated
You knew they weren't for you , so you were a bit naughty/ nosey to see what they said .
I think most people at sometime or other have moaned about their boss, even if they think they are good. It's an occupational hazard of being the boss .
If she is reliable and good at her job why let her go over something like this, good workers are hard to find.

Mermaidhair · 03/10/2015 07:31

If it were me I would let her know that I had the texts translated. Then I would explain why I was letting her go.

Snoopadoop · 03/10/2015 07:31

Do you pay cash on the day and she will have to wait till next week to collect it now?

I was thinking this too. People say thing in texts to family members all the time. I'm not sure she should be immediately sacked for this. You should speak to her.

twirlypoo · 03/10/2015 07:31

Also, thinking about it - did you tell her why you had to cancel or did you just say not to come in? It says above that you had a doctors appointment but added "not that I feel I owe it to her to explain" and that's a bit of a rubbish attitude to have towards someone.

I'm not having a go at you (hey we are all busy) but it could explain why she reacted the way she did?

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 07:35

Either cash on the day or same-day bank transfer, which is what I did this time. If we know beforehand we don't need her (holidays, building work, etc.) we pay in advance.

Usually on the day she comes I'm at work and my parents are at my house looking after the DC so almost every time there is someone here when she comes. She would be alone here for most of the morning though as my parents take the DC out and about. It's not worth giving her a key for the handful of times per year when no-one is around.

OP posts:
OllyBJolly · 03/10/2015 07:41

Bit harsh. I'm sure I've said worse about bosses I've really loved and respected.

If I'd got up to go to work, got ready, perhaps turned down something to go, and then been cancelled at last minute I might have been pissed off. If this was a customer who paid a bit extra, I counted on the cash coming in today and would now have to wait, I'd be angry.

OP - do you pay more than apprx one third on top of min wage? If not you're underpaying (whether self employed or employed)

Badders123 · 03/10/2015 07:57

Parasite?
Fuck yeah, fire her.
Always people who want cleaning jobs and who won't call you horrible names!

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 08:02

I pay her £11ph which is £5.50 above minimum wage and £1.85 above the London living wage. I put it up by 10% when she moved further away and thus incurred higher travel costs to come to us.

She didn't turn anything else down, this is her regular slot.

I'm starting to waver now - there's never been any other problem. We do need a cleaner, I don't want to pay agency rates and I don't really want the headache of finding another. She's worked for 4 of my friends over the years who were happy with her.

I'm a bit surprised that bad mouthing bosses you like is a thing. Surely this is a bit different though? We're not in a office together, she comes into my home.

OP posts:
Badders123 · 03/10/2015 08:07

I would not be able to have her back in my home after she called me a parasite.
But...your call.

VoodooLooloo · 03/10/2015 08:14

I would keep her. I know I've said things in texts about my boss that I wouldn't want him to see. She made a mistake. It happens.
If she's a good cleaner ad you don't want the hassle of an agency then keep her.

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