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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner

152 replies

UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 01:16

Our cleaner has worked for us for about 2 years. She comes for one morning a week. Good worker, no issues, although she isn't left alone in the house for long periods. She doesn't have a key so someone has to be at my house to let her in.

She is self-employed, not agency. I pay her the rate she asks which is a fair bit above the living wage and I also instigated an arrangement whereby I still pay her if I cancel her coming, but I don't pay her if she cancels. We arrived at this after some persuasion because I wanted to give her sick pay plus an agreed number of weeks' holiday pay like a normal British employee (she isn't British), but she wouldn't hear of it - said it would be immoral to take money for time she hadn't worked.

So this week I had to cancel because, unavoidably, I couldn't be there to let her in. I don't do this often. Under our arrangement she still gets paid for this week.

She replied with two texts in her language followed by one in English apologising, saying the others were meant for her daughter and wishing me a good day. The two texts in her language mentioned my name so out of curiosity I had them translated and it turns out her opinion of me is pretty low! I was shocked because I've always tried to treat her well.

I no longer feel like this is someone I want in my home or around my DC, especially for spells when I'm not there. WIBU to give her a month's pay in lieu of notice and fire her?

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/10/2015 09:52

NMW is £6.70.
£7 is dreadful though. If a SE cleaner is on that, even worse.

PookBob · 03/10/2015 09:56

I think £6.70 is the min wage. I'm in the NW and cleaner provided through an agency.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/10/2015 09:59

That's even worse - the agency will be taking a cut. Do you pay £7 to the agency or is it just the cleaner's portion?

SE - I meant self-employed, not South East.

Katinkka · 03/10/2015 10:00

My cleaner does 3 hours for £20 and she is brilliant. Best I've ever had. She is Russian. I've tried giving her more but there's a language issue and she seems to get offended/confused so I just give her what she asks for and she will get a good tip at Christmas.

catfordbetty · 03/10/2015 10:01

There is nothing the OP has done that deserves being called a "parasite" and the implication of that word suggests more than annoyance at this one cancellation. In the OP's shoes I'd be feeling very hurt. I've never had a cleaner so I don't know the correct way to sack one but she should definitely go, IMO.

PookBob · 03/10/2015 10:03

£7 is the cleaners portion.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/10/2015 10:06

OK fair enough pook

I would bet the full implication of 'parasite' is lost in translation. I understand why the OP would want it translated (curiosity) but I can't help think there is a bit of neediness about this. She's contracted by you to clean your house - not a friend. I would struggle to give a shiny shit about what my cleaner or any of my employees thought of me on a personal level. On a professional level, I always do the right thing but I don't think I'm special or deserving of 100% gratitude and approbation at all times.

You're paying your cleaner below national minimum wage Katinka but she's Russian and doesn't understand so that makes it alright. Hmm

dustarr73 · 03/10/2015 10:09

I would give her a chance to respond,but i dont think calling you a parasite is very good at all.We have all bitched about someone at work but that name she called you implies she doesnt think anything of you.If thats what she really thinks i would have to get rid.

clam · 03/10/2015 10:11

I'm not even sure I understand the "parasite" thing. Isn't a parasite something that leeches off others? How come the cleaner thinks the OP does that?

PookBob · 03/10/2015 10:12

My concern about the rude comments would be the possible lack of respect whilst cleaning. I worked as a housekeeper in hotels for many years and saw some of the disgusting practices of other cleaners. I would be nervous about cooking and eating utensils being wiped with floor cloths. Bathroom sinks and toilets being dried with hand towels so they look shiny. I've seen much worse.

That would be my paranoid thinking :)

XiCi · 03/10/2015 10:16

Parasite? She sounds a nasty piece of work and there is no way she would be getting back in my house after I had read that. No way.
I would explain exactly why and would not pay her anything in lieu of notice either. She is not your employee, you are her client and she has made it impossible for the working relationship to continue by speaking about you like that

PurpleDaisies · 03/10/2015 10:21

Is your friend who translated the text a professional? My good friend does this as a job and we've often talked about how difficult she finds it to convey the sense of what the person has said without using language that has much stronger meaning in English than was meant in the original language. For example I don't like him much might end up translated as I really hate him.

Lots of posters are focussing on the word "parasite". Just beware that this is a translated word that might not accurately convey what the cleaner actually said.

Collaborate · 03/10/2015 10:26

It's not a question of firing her, as she's not your employee.

Whether you have to give her any notice depends on the agreement you have with her.

I'd think that I wouldn't want her cleaning my house any more given the level of hatred disclosed in those texts. YWNBU to have read them.

PookBob · 03/10/2015 10:27

Ok, then let's focus on "that cow".

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 10:32

To clarify re. the wages and the key:

When she started with me two years ago I asked how much she wanted and she said £10/hr. Her choice. That's now £11.

When she started with me I said I would take whatever time slot each week suited her. It so happens that the time slot she chose is one when there is pretty much always someone at home, so she doesn't need a key.

OP posts:
merrymouse · 03/10/2015 10:37

I'm trying to think of a way in which parasite could have a sense which is positive and friendly.

"My client is a lovely cute flea"?

scarlets · 03/10/2015 10:44

She clearly has a chip on her shoulder. Find someone else.

LastOneDancing · 03/10/2015 10:44

If you were pissed off with someone for a minor inconvenience which meant you'd be paid for doing your own thing that morning instead of cleaning, what kind of text would you send to your DH/friend?

'I'd probably say 'FFS I could gave had an extra hour in bed if they'd told me earlier. So annoyed' or whatever.
So that's the level of animosity I'd see as reasonable in return. 'Parasite' shows real contempt I think.

Also why are people so boggled by the fact that Op got it translated? If I had easy access to a translator and my name was in there of course I'd want to know what was being said! I find it weird that you wouldn't.

Original poster
UnderTheF1oorboards · 03/10/2015 10:50

I don't get the parasite bit either and I'm not too bothered; the overriding issue is that clearly

TondelayoSchwarzkopf obviously she's not a friend, I barely see her, but I believe I treat her fairly, professionally and respectfully. I don't think the same on her side is too much to expect. I don't expect friendship from any professionals I deal with (I don't have any work colleagues on facebook even though we all get along just fine) but I do expect civility. As I and others have said, the trust issue is greater when she's in my home.

I've had fraudulent activity on my credit card before. If it happens again will I suspect her, knowing she thinks I'm a cow? She could get personal info like that if she really really wanted to. If I get to the point of hiding all that under the floorboards because I don't 100% trust her then she needs to go.

You're right that I should give her right of reply though. I shall muse upon how to phrase it.

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 03/10/2015 11:09

I can understand translations being lost on some words.But to me there is no nice way of saying parasite,its not a term of endearment.If he had said some other word that could be construed differently i might give her the benefit of the doubt.

Oldraver · 03/10/2015 11:25

I would sack her as well.... give her notice by text in her own language

DanglyEarrings · 03/10/2015 11:41

I cannot for the life of me see what her problem was if she got paid anyway, it's just plain strange of her!

cruikshank · 03/10/2015 11:59

This thread is really funny, especially when you just know that most of the people on here are thinking 'Does my cleaner really think so little of me too?' ... to which the answer is, well, yes, probably. Smile

SilverNightFairy · 03/10/2015 12:03

We have had the same lovely cleaning woman for eight years. She is amazing and always adds special touches around the house on the days she is here. She brought a friend to help her clean one day,on a day I also had a friend visit. When my friend and I were at lunch she told me " Silver, Maria thinks you keep a lazy, sloppy house" Friend happened to be Spanish speaking and overheard the comments my cleaner made to her friend. Sadly, Maria had a point. She continues in our employ to this day.

Not saying your situation is the same, Op. You must be comfortable with the people in your home. I think we have all made comments and observations to family and friends we would not want our employer's privy to.

daisychain01 · 03/10/2015 12:04

Under - IMO I would be inclined to start afresh. To my way of thinking, my cleaner is a trusted person and I would not like her to have that mentality. And no I wouldn't take to slagging off my boss or calling them names, very unprofessional. Any issue should be addressed and sorted out, not resorting to name - calling.

Maybe she needs to be taught the English expression "don't bite the hand that feeds you!"