to tell my husband he is being "fucking silly"?

[Oakmaiden]

Because I did. And now he is stroppy because I was rude to him. But he was being fucking silly - and actually saying that was a lot milder than what I wanted to say.

Oh. You want context. Really? You can't just all agree with me?

We are overdrawn. Hooray. 3 days after payday. Which is unsurprising since I have been out of work for 3 months, and it is only just starting to pick up now. Dh never checks the accounts, but since I have worked out we have £90 to last until next Friday (not counting bills, which are all covered - this is food and spending money) I thought I had better let him know. In case he decides to buy himself something. So I let him know. I also said that it was not going to be a problem, because we have food in the house and as long as we aren't extravagant then we have money to get enough to last us.

I hate having to discuss money with him, though. Because he always overreacts. So he keeps texting me saying "he feels sick thinking about it" etc. And then the corker "Maybe I should just stop eating".

I bloody hate the way he has to overreact about these things and turn everything into a bloody drama. Maye I should just stop eating. I measn, ffs, that is supposed to be helpful?

I think saying "Don't be fucking silly" was quite mild, actually.

I now await your agreement. I am only posting so you can all vindicate my point of view. Obviously.

Yes, fucking silly is right. He needs to be an adult.

So vindicated.

YABU. Really, it's your own fault for marrying a thirteen-year-old.

Unless he's not actually a stroppy over dramatic teen, in which case he's being a total gobshite and yANBU.

Consider yourself the queen of Reasonable Land.

God what a man child. Why is he being silly.

It's not an ideal long term solution but as you've said things are picking up then he needs to get on board and be an adult about it.

Yep, he's being bloody ridiculous.

Even if you had no food in the house and only £90 to last a week he'd still be fucking ridiculous.

Hmm, I'm torn because on the one hand that is a bit silly, but on the other I think that sort of reaction/behaviour can be down to fairly serious anxiety/depression. I'm wondering if he's secretly feeling extremely anxious about the financial situation, maybe worried about his own job?

But no, not terribly helpful

Oh my god. What a drama queen!!! You should text back 'oh, okay then, that makes sense'.

Fucking silly is rather calm of you.

Vindicated, he sounds like hard work

I'm inclined to agree with you he's being a drama llama, you've made it clear that everything is under control and you just have to spend on essentials and not fripperies for just over a week, I'd be telling him to stop being silly and calm down too.

Big girl's blouse isn't he?

He needs to get a grip, is be tempted to say 'OK you'd that then' and watch the rest of the house eat all the food we do have if it makes you feel better', he'll soon change his mind when he's hungry tonight!

Wow what a baby. YANBU.

I think he inherited it from his mother. Being weird about money. And oh SO jealous of those who have more.

You know - it's just stuff. We won't starve. He (and the children) think we are "poor" because we don't do the expensive holidays, lots of gadgets and stuff. But actually, while we do live rather "hand to mouth", we have a lot more than most.

Stuff is nice. But not at all important.

Does he always bleat like a child? How deeply attractive you must find that. Yeuch.

YANBU!

He does have lots of good points. I just hate the "Woe is me" thing.

Reading the other posts I'm starting to feel a bit silly about my own. I do still think it's worth considering though: that sort of over the top screw everything mentality is one I recognise myself when I'm going through a tough patch and struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

But I realise the armchair diagnosis isn't really helpful at this moment OP and I understand how freaking frustrating it is. My DH used to react a bit like that when something goes wrong: the dishwasher breaking don for example, and it meant that I would dread telling him because the reaction was so fucking annoying

YADNBU. I'd have said "Oh that's even better, if you stop eating I'll have more food for two weeks so I can buy a pair of shoes with that 90 quid. Thanks darling"

Oh bugger, forgot to add it turned out that there was a reason for him being so anxious about money that I wasn't aware of, hence my suggestion that there may be more going on in his brain than drama llamaing.

Pathetic!

But you cannot really be "fucking silly", you can only be "quite silly" or "a bit silly" imo

Silly is quite a mild word

I think "fucking ridiculous"covers it nicely

Or just "do fuck off"

That is to your dh btw, not you!

YANBU, he is BU.

When he suggested he stopped eating you should have said 'actually that's a good idea' and left it at that. I don't think it'd have taken him long to start talking seriously about it.

Don't Buy - Genius!!!

Bugrit - it was worth mentioning, but I don't really think it is it. He has always been like this. And it does make me anxious, too - not because we can't cope with £90 (or whatever) for 8 days, but because he reacts so annoyingly.

Although I am willing to accept he probably finds the way I shrug and say "It's just money, it'll all work out OK" fairly irritating too.

I think it's just differing attitudes, although the idea of starving himself was indeed silly. The idea of living hand to mouth thou and limited funds being a regular thing thou sounds a horrible way to live and would give me serious anxiety, I don't blame him for that.