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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being PFB? Watching films at nursery

183 replies

MonkeyPJs · 28/09/2015 09:37

AIBU and PFB? Need a reality check here ... Grin

PFB is almost 4, and at nursery they have decided to have a "film" day later in the week when all of the children watch a film together. I asked what films, they said maybe the Lion King.

Before I could think it through, I asked them not to show the middle section where Mufasa dies. While PFB loves the Lion King, I made the decision not to show that section about a year ago after PFB got very very upset about the idea of me or DH dying, and parental mortality in films (Nemo, Frozen etc) does really affect them. Death is something I get a lot of questions about, and PFB has had nightmares about. I don't want that part of the film shown in a situation where I can't be there to explain it.

I know now I should just watch the whole thing with PFB beside me to explain it, but don't have time before film day.

Am I being terribly PFB? It all just came out to the nursery teacher, and I walked away feeling like that parent .. Blush

OP posts:
ReallyTired · 02/10/2015 11:03

Incidently my son was at home with me until he was three. He did go to full time nursery when he was four. My daughter attend day nusery three short days a week.

Marynary · 02/10/2015 12:54

Nurseries cant give the one on one attention a parent should provide.

Some people actually have more than one child you know...

Iwantakitchen · 02/10/2015 21:34

Marynary you clearly have very positive views about people who work in childcare, you think they are lazy yet you sent your children there and pay for it. Maybe your children were in the wrong after school club if the staff there were lazy and wanted to sit on their arse and do nothing. Charming. Maybe people in childcare would have more respect for parents if parents acknowledged the fact that we work hard. As a childminder I would feel very uncomfortable if a parent I work for would accuse me of being lazy because we watch a movie once a month.

Marynary · 02/10/2015 23:04

Marynary you clearly have very positive views about people who work in childcare, you think they are lazy yet you sent your children there and pay for it. Maybe your children were in the wrong after school club if the staff there were lazy and wanted to sit on their arse and do nothing. Charming.

I didn't have much choice about where to send them as there were no alternative childcare options e.g. childminders in my area.. The only option was the afterschool club (attached to the school) or give up my job. They didn't watch movies once a month by the way. It was a couple of times a week and the children had no choice about whether or not they watched it. The lights were turned off and they were told not to talk.

Maybe people in childcare would have more respect for parents if parents acknowledged the fact that we work hard. As a childminder I would feel very uncomfortable if a parent I work for would accuse me of being lazy because we watch a movie once a month.

Who said anything about once a month. The afterschool club my children went to put on films at least a couple of times a week and the children had no choice about whether or not they watched it. The lights were turned off and they were told not to talk. Why on earth should I respect the staff for working hard..

Iwantakitchen · 03/10/2015 00:31

Why don't you talk to them about it?

ReallyTired · 03/10/2015 00:35

Some people work very hard in child care, but some are as lazy as sin. I feel there are huge issues with finding high quality childcare, particularly for older children. My daughter's school had an excellent after school club where they have a choice of activities. However the head teacher did have to sack an external provider because they used to put on DVDs.

I feel that childcare is far too much of a lottery. I feel that ratios for childcare of older children should be relaxed so that staff can be paid better salaries, but have to have better qualifications. I feel the obligation for after school clubs to follow the EYFS is bureaucratic. After school care needs its own standards that are age appriopiate. I do not understand why afterschool clubs can not ensure that homework is completed when they have ratios of 1 to 8.

I have seen situations both in daycare and after school care where childcare workers chat to each other rather than interact with the children. I am sceptical that the generous UK ratios of poorly paid workers actually help the children. When my daughter attended school nursery it was a real revelation of what early years care should be like. I actually believe that school nurseries achieve a lot more with far fewer staff.

ReallyTired · 03/10/2015 00:37

Sorry my daughter's school still has an excellent after school club run by the school. It is very over subscribed.

Marynary · 03/10/2015 12:39

Why don't you talk to them about it?

What make you think that I didn't? I and other parents complained numerous times to no avail. The manager would always insist that the children didn't have to watch films. It was apparently optional which certainly wasn't true according to my children and their friends. The lights were turned off when a film was on and they were told not to talk.

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