Am I being PFB? Watching films at nursery

[MonkeyPJs]

AIBU and PFB? Need a reality check here ...

PFB is almost 4, and at nursery they have decided to have a "film" day later in the week when all of the children watch a film together. I asked what films, they said maybe the Lion King.

Before I could think it through, I asked them not to show the middle section where Mufasa dies. While PFB loves the Lion King, I made the decision not to show that section about a year ago after PFB got very very upset about the idea of me or DH dying, and parental mortality in films (Nemo, Frozen etc) does really affect them. Death is something I get a lot of questions about, and PFB has had nightmares about. I don't want that part of the film shown in a situation where I can't be there to explain it.

I know now I should just watch the whole thing with PFB beside me to explain it, but don't have time before film day.

Am I being terribly PFB? It all just came out to the nursery teacher, and I walked away feeling like that parent ..

You know what, I'm sick of the attitude on mumsnet 'kids need to toughen up'. All the posters that seem to think a 4 year old needs to get a grip if they are upset by the lion king, would you listen to yourself? There was a post recently about a woman who's daughter was made to do pe in the pouring rain and got soaked to her underwear. Again the attitude was toughen up, life is hard get over it, I send my toddler out in the rain all the time, man up etc. it just saddens me that this seems to be the prevailing attitude nowadays...so very Tory..what's wrong with being kind and sensitive?? Mumsnet has really changed over the last few years and become so much like this..am buggering off, every time I'm on here it just gets more depressing.

And no you are not BU!!!

I'm just amazed that people believe they have that much say in their kid's nursery and school day. Imagine the amount of micromanaging by parents that would go on if nurseries and schools caved in! There are 20-30 kids, could be up to 60 parents wanting to change things.

I personally feel kids under 10 should be outside in all weathers for a few hours a day, don't want to see much rote learning, don't like tv and have another 25 ideas how to do it differently, but I am aware I'd have to home-educate if I really needed this. Expecting a nursery class of 20 or 30 to change or cancel a movie day for my own little petal would be pfb.

I actually think it's a great idea to have TV for children as a nursery activity. Television is a great aid for kids and can be used with other traditional and more modern methods eg computer/iPads. Even just watching a film gives children ideas on characters and role play.

As for death, it is a staple of a lot of traditional fairy tales. In The Little Mermaid for example, the mermaid must kill the prince with a knife but she elects to let herself fie so that he can live and be happy. A lot of Hand Chhristian Anderson and Grms stories are of this type.

Spoiler alert
Nemos mum dies at the start. Big Hero 6 the brother dies. Aslan "dies". Frozen, Cinderella etc all have significant deaths.

I personally feel kids under 10 should be outside in all weathers for a few hours a day.

But you probably dont want to do it

Small children are at a nursery.
Small children that have been at a nursery from probably 8.00am or earlier are really very tired by 4pm.

A film later in the day is perfect.

Indeed not, fullduty. Neither do I want to practise times tables and phonics or faff around with glue and loo roll in junk modelling, so I am sending them to school instead. Trouble is, now school gets to say what they do, ho hum .

There is a saying that there is bad clothing rather than bad weather. Children would happily play out in all sorts of weather if they have good warm waterproof clothing. Sadly many parents do not provide their children with adequate protective clothing.

The majority of pre schoolers get adequate screen time at home. They don't need more at nursery.

If they watch one movie say, a month is it really 'lazy' teaching? That leaves many hours a week for socialising, playing outdoors, learning, reading, craft etc. It's two hours! The children are not put in front of a tv for hours on end... [Hmm]

We are talking small children here are we not reni? they are done by 4pm, its enough, they dont want to play, they want to be at home... dinner bath bed is the order. So I get the parent works till 6, but the child has had enough, or dont you get that? a film and chill out from 4 is great.

What? We used to have a long list for nursery including but not restricted to wellies, raincoats, shorts, sunhats, sunscreen, 2 sets of spares...

Lazy teaching? from 4pm the child has had enough.. school is till 3.45 for a reason... even then, kids have had enough after 3. I do not understand how you dont get it?

I do get that and I never said nursery should not show a film. I said I'm surprised anybody is under the illusion they do or even should get that much of a say.

What? We used to have a long list for nursery including but not restricted to wellies, raincoats, shorts, sunhats, sunscreen, 2 sets of spares...

I have no idea what you are talking about reni

In response to ReallyTired Thu 01-Oct-15 22:10:41

Actually the EYFS advocates child led learning. Certainly there should be input from parents on what a child is ready to learn and what skills they have mastered at home. Certainly parents should be listened to when planning provision although it's unrealistic to expect parents to completely dictate the nursery day. It is not unreasonable to realise that lion king is not suitable for some pre schoolers.

I choose a nursery that had a no TV policy. The children from that particular nursery have better speech, fine motor skills and are fitter. They used to play out a lot in the garden at pick up time. They had access to the garden whenever they wanted it. Inside they had a choice of activities or a bean bag if they just wanted to rest.

Fulldutypaid

Do you not get it that some children are not couch potatoes who lack energy to play after 4pm? My children at that age would happily play on into the evening. If children are do tired that they need to wind down then lion king is a poor choice. It could potentially give a child nightmares. Why can't the nursery nurses read the children a story? My guess is that it's the nursery nurses who need the break rather than the children.

Children should be at home by 4pm. They are fractious and tired after being at a nursery from 7.30 in the morning. A film and non instruction by adults is a blessing for both!

Anyone that thinks different is projecting their shortcomings and rather ridiculous.

You are very PFB really tired.

Speak for yourself Fully.

There's no need for children to watch a 90 minute film at nursery. TV is not the only way to relax but it will be easier for the staff. I imagine that's the motivating factor.

I do, because i know. I see these little children in a nursery from sun up till sun down. I see ridiculous parents not wanting their children, so why have them? wanting a bloody establishment to give them what the parent won't.

When you have children, they come first! you gave birth, you are responsible for them. YOU downgrade your working life!!!!

Ive been in nurseries for years. SO lets not tell me what I see!

I see parents leaving their tiny children in a nursery from 7.30 in the morning till 7.30 at night because they need to work, they need that big house they need the life style still. Well actually no you dont. Its sad and ridiculous. The ones that shout the most are the ones that dont actually parent properly!

The children are tired and have been listening to our voices all day Littlebear. i dont believe that a nursery should be open from 4pm to be honest. It should be a time for them to at home. Dinner bath bed. How dare you say staff are lazy???? when you probably cant do it for a day!