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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being PFB? Watching films at nursery

183 replies

MonkeyPJs · 28/09/2015 09:37

AIBU and PFB? Need a reality check here ... Grin

PFB is almost 4, and at nursery they have decided to have a "film" day later in the week when all of the children watch a film together. I asked what films, they said maybe the Lion King.

Before I could think it through, I asked them not to show the middle section where Mufasa dies. While PFB loves the Lion King, I made the decision not to show that section about a year ago after PFB got very very upset about the idea of me or DH dying, and parental mortality in films (Nemo, Frozen etc) does really affect them. Death is something I get a lot of questions about, and PFB has had nightmares about. I don't want that part of the film shown in a situation where I can't be there to explain it.

I know now I should just watch the whole thing with PFB beside me to explain it, but don't have time before film day.

Am I being terribly PFB? It all just came out to the nursery teacher, and I walked away feeling like that parent .. Blush

OP posts:
pippitysqueakity · 29/09/2015 19:50

Mellow did I read that right? You were read a story to explain a teacher's death, but it was the story which bothered you? How did you react to the poor teacher's demise?

strawberrybrulee · 29/09/2015 19:55

www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/the-lion-king They say 6+. YANU. It's not just parental death, it's violent death. Nursery is too young. TBH, they shouldn't be showing films anyway, you don't (or the government don't) pay them to use the TV as a babysitter. Poor.

cashewnutty · 29/09/2015 20:01

Our eldest DD1 died when she was aged 5. DD2 was 3 at the time. Just after she watched Snow white and sobbed her heart out at the bit where Snow white has eaten the apple and 'dies'. She also sobbed whilst watching Hercules at the cinema when they have to pluck Meg out of the underworld. The Lion King was watched and rewatched many times. I think these sad films helped her to deal with her grief in a way she understood and it was very healthy in an emotional sense, even though she seemed bereft at the time of watching. It really is not bad for children to watch sad films. It helps them deal with their emotions in a healthy and age appropriate way.

fulldutypaid · 29/09/2015 20:09

Of course it isnt ridiculous to what to protect your child from anything sad or upsetting, the mere thought of it even hurts us mothers and we want to wrap them up in cotton wool. Unfortunately thats not real life. Death is very much a part of life (if you get what I mean) and they do have to learn about it.

There is nothing wrong with nurserys showing films either. Young children only watch the bits they want to watch.

I havent really come across an under 6 being damaged by the lion king Grin

fulldutypaid · 29/09/2015 20:14

As for putting a film on being something to do with wanting the TV to be an unpaid babysitter, at the end of a long day at nursery... lots are there from 7.30 in the morning, they've had enough of everything else, so putting a film on from about 4.30 is fine.

LadyLonely1 · 29/09/2015 20:19

Cashew sorry about your ddFlowers

bostonkremekrazy · 29/09/2015 22:45

i don't let my 8 and 10 year olds watch the lion king - and some other disney films...we would choose to not let nursery children watch a violent murder - albeit in cartoon form!

we also limit to 60 minutes of screen time per day - so i'd be rather irritated to loose that time so nursery - which i assume you are paying for privately - can have the screen time instead. i use the time to prepare an evening meal in relative peace while the little ones relax after their day working at school/nursery etc.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/09/2015 22:53

A ten year old not allowed to watch The Lion King. I've seen a lot of mental crap on here but that's the best.

DixieNormas · 29/09/2015 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bostonkremekrazy · 29/09/2015 23:05

yep i probably am more pfb....but they also haven't asked in years, if they did i'd still say no Wink these days they have bigger fish to fry!

LucyBabs · 29/09/2015 23:15

I assume the parents who wouldn't want their dc watching a movie at nursery never put a movie on at home for their dc? If you do is that what you're getting child benefit for? To spend downloading or buying movies??? Wink

TheNewStatesman · 30/09/2015 00:18

"I assume the parents who wouldn't want their dc watching a movie at nursery never put a movie on at home for their dc?"

The difference is that a nursery is a professional environment where people are getting paid to look after children. There are also several adults available, and no obligation to do things like get meals cooked etc.

Most nurseries manage just fine without putting the TV on.

oobedobe · 30/09/2015 01:35

I agree that Lion King is one of the more mature Disney movies, some DC will be fine with it, other's won't. They should pick a shorter 'preschooler' type of movie like one of the Thomas the Train ones, Tinkerbell or Winnie the Pooh, that would be more suitable for 3 & 4 yo.

I also agree that the nursery putting on TV at all is a bit lazy, fine for an 'event' once in a while (end of term) but every week is too much.

Millionprammiles · 30/09/2015 12:16

"I assume the parents who wouldn't want their dc watching a movie at nursery never put a movie on at home for their dc?"

With the exception of Frozen (once on Boxing Day) no, never. 90 mins of tv is a lot for a 3 yr old. Its a bit different to a group of 9 yr olds going to the cinema together or a family film night for older children.

Long periods of tv time just isn't great for a young child's development. Not sure why a nursery would need to include it. It isn't exactly part of the EY framework.

00100001 · 30/09/2015 14:23

Am I being PFB? Watching films at nursery
VeryPunny · 30/09/2015 14:54

LucyBabs We don't get child benefit, and no, I have never put a film on for my children. Yes, they watch TV, but we're talking something like the Twirlywoos or Something Special, not a feature length film.

TheExMotherInLaw · 30/09/2015 16:37

I think it's lazy teaching, too.
I also think that it is up to you when you introduce that sort of film to your child, and that you ought to be there to sort out any distress.
I remember being annoyed going batshit crazy at dcs junior school when, as an end of school 'treat' they showed Men In Black, which is PG. I'm the parent - I make the choice when it comes to a film, and I had already decided that dd was too young to see it a that point.

00100001 · 30/09/2015 16:45

lazy teaching.

lazy teaching?

its Nursery school! the kids are four.... FOUR!

00100001 · 30/09/2015 16:46

no.... THREE

They are THREE YEARS OLD.

There is no "teaching" going on, there is just play based learning

Jeeepers

TripleRocks · 30/09/2015 16:54

I actually don't think this is PFB. I would have reservations about my DD watching Lion King at nearly 5 but the poor child had nightmares after watching Madagascar so is maybe of a sensitive persuasion!

There's just no need is there? Plenty of other films they could choose

PosterEh · 30/09/2015 17:04

My dd (3.5) has watched a fair amount of Disney films but I think the lion king is too old for her.

Tirinen · 30/09/2015 17:24

I don't think two year olds should be sitting watching films aimed at older kids, where stuff dies, or there's violent fighting. What's the point? Maybe I'm biased as I think the Lion King's one of the dullest Disney films and has no value at all. Plus, they're too young to even sit through a film of that length. They'll be walking around after ten minutes, or being told to sat down. Sounds pretty miserable all round.

NewLife4Me · 30/09/2015 17:29

The child isn't at school, how can it be lazy teaching Grin?

OP, you don't usually get a say in what they do at nursery as you pay them to look after your child in loco parentis during that time.
At nearly 4 there isn't anything wrong with any Disney film, surely.
they need to learn about death in the animal kingdom and Disney seems a good way for this to happen.
I remember mine first cried at Bambi as preschoolers, the second time they saw it they were fine.

PunkrockerGirl · 30/09/2015 17:35

Lazy teaching Confused

ReallyTired · 30/09/2015 18:01

"The child isn't at school, how can it be lazy teaching grin?"

The early years is an important foundation to a whole child's education. It is why there are nursery vouchers for three and four year olds. Its a damn more than baby sitting toddlers.

The UK has a culture of employing really thick/ lazy people on the cheap to do childcare. The low pay of nursery work makes its hard to attract enough high calibre people to work with our youngest children. Other countries have far better pre school provision employ graduates to plan the provision and look after three and four year olds. In many ways Elizabeth Truss is right that three and four year olds would do better with higer ratios, but better qualified teachers.

"There is no "teaching" going on, there is just play based learning

Jeeepers"

Play based learning is real learning and real education. It takes as much skill as secondary school teaching to do it really well.