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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For being mad at 'date' for his behaviour?

191 replies

Wanshu · 24/09/2015 14:45

Met a guy online. Met up one night and he seemed alright so I arranged date number 2. That one went ok so this brings us to date number 3 ...

We went to cinema and he talked all the way through the movie. People were turning around and I was getting embarrassed. He was actually talking about the movie to be fair but even so! Anyway I said to him politely "let's talk about it later when we leave". He made a stupid "oooo! Ive been told off!" comment and I heard tutting from behind us. So uncomfortable as I hate drawing attention to myself.

So - moving forward we got out (finally!) and as we were leaving he was loudly discussing the plot whilst people were queuing up to see it!! I said playfully "shh you'll spoil it for this lot!" and he did the same "ooo you are miss authoritative tonight!" at this point I was so wound up I just wanted to shout "fuck off!!!" at him (but didn't).

So I admit I may have been a bit tetchy from this point on ...

We walked into our chosen restaraunt were we were told to sit at the bar whilst a table became available. Gladly I sat down. He sat beside me, started raking into his pockets and then dumped a load of change onto the bar and said "what do you reckon we could get with that?" Shock Jesus H Christ. I was mortified. A group of blokes were looking and laughing, he seemed completely oblivious. I said "just put the money away and we'll just order something! if we don't have enough on us they accept card!". I may have been a bit snappy at this point. He looked offended. collected the change and asked what I wanted. I told him I'd buy the drinks and I did so. As we were sat drinking in awkward silence he asked me if he'd done something wrong as I'd seemed quite stand offish and snappy all night!!! Not wanting a full on conversation in front of the bar staff and the group of blokes I said "no, don't worry about it, I just don't like getting money out in public." At this point he said "oh don't worry I'm not skint, I have ... " and then he proceeded to rake a load of £10 and £20 notes out of his pocket and counted them in front of me!!!!! is it me or what??? How embarrassing. So I said "you're doing it again! people are looking! just put the money away and let's enjoy our drinks and food without thinking about money".

Anyway this conversation went on and on ...

Final straw, we sat down and I ordered fajita wraps. He ordered something different. When it arrived my serving was huge and basically it looked like it would be a military operation turning this huge plate of meat and veg into wraps (it was a DIY job!). So I laughed and said "oh wow! where do I start here?!" so he asked what I meant. Hmm. I said "I just don't know where to start. looks nice though doesn't it?" - well he immediately caught the attention of the waitress and asked her to come across before telling her that I wasnt sure how to make the wraps and could she show me how to do it! I mean for fucks sake, I've never felt so ridiculous in all my life. I told her I was fine and could manage. When she'd left I asked him why he'd done that and he said he was trying to be helpful. I told him he'd really embarrassed me and he said I'd been off with him all night and he wished I'd just told him what was wrong.

I can be a moody cow. I'm not denying that but was my frustration warranted on this occasion and AIBU to now be considering calling it all off? We're meant to be going out this weekend and he keeps texting saying how he's looking forward to it and has changed his hours at work for it. The other dates were fine, just the last one which was a nightmare. Am I being harsh?

OP posts:
Starkswillriseagain · 27/09/2015 14:16

I'm far more verbose at home - but nobody's here except the cat, and she thinks I'm talking to her.

At home I avoid the lollies when I'm alone and the characters often get ranted at!

Waltermittythesequel · 27/09/2015 14:22

Whose attention do you think I'm seeking?

The people around you when you're talking, presumably.

Garrick · 27/09/2015 14:22

Grin We should ring each other up for mutual viewing response, Starks!

lorelei9 · 27/09/2015 15:50

Starks "I suck drumsticks during Made in Chelsea and TOWIE because it's enraged me and there's no where to go to get away from it."

what? You're trapped in a secret government torture chamber?!

Garrick - I'm the one who hisses "shut up" with alarming ferocity. Hi there.

Garrick · 27/09/2015 15:58
Starkswillriseagain · 27/09/2015 16:28

Lol we should Garrick.

Lol, No not at all Lorelei, TOWIE and MIC are guilty pleasures of the OH, myself and housemates and if no one is in then I can avoid them easily but if they are all in then I just can't help myself. The problem is that some of them just enrage me so much- I don't understand why I like watching so much!

lorelei9 · 27/09/2015 17:04

Starks - you're a recreational rager then. (sounds rude)

Starkswillriseagain · 27/09/2015 17:26

lorelei9 Lol, oh I am! Love it!

I can't be the only one, can I?

Coconutty · 27/09/2015 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComposHatComesBack · 27/09/2015 18:42

And you say this man is single?

Cel982 · 27/09/2015 18:53

The talking in the cinema would drug me mad, I hate that. Talking about the film on the way out? Pretty normal. And I'm not sure why you got so annoyed at him for counting some change at the bar, or felt that people were laughing at you for this. If the thing with the wraps and the waitress was deliberate, it's kind of hilarious. If not, it's goofy by well-intentioned.
That said, of course YWNBU to call it quits at this stage - I think it's very likely he'll continue to irritate you, and three dates is probably enough to know if there's any future in it.

Cel982 · 27/09/2015 18:54

*drug - drive (??)
*by - but

lorelei9 · 27/09/2015 18:58

Cel982 "If the thing with the wraps and the waitress was deliberate, it's kind of hilarious."

is it just me that finds it...not hilarious?

Trills · 27/09/2015 19:02

He sounds really annoying.

Maybe to some people he sounds OK but nervous or like he has an unusual sense of humour whatever.

Those people can date him if they like.

I would find him massively irritating.

OneDay103 · 27/09/2015 19:05

I think his behaviour would amuse small minds. Very immature and seems like a jerk.

Cel982 · 27/09/2015 20:13

No, fair enough lorelei9, if it had happened to me I would be embarrassed too. I'm just wondering if he had felt a bit humiliated by the OP's (possibly justified) criticisms and was taking revenge. Which, Sue me, I can see some humour in. More likely he's just clueless, though.

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