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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is taking my DC out of school really so bad??

305 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/09/2015 19:51

I'm getting a lot of shit judgement from DH's parents about our holiday plans.

I thought long and hard about it and decided that it would be okay to take them out of school given that my youngest is only in nursery (so not compulsory) and my oldest is only in year one and it will just be the week before Christmas and I don't feel she'll miss anything crucial.

My DH is told when he can have time off and has to take projects when they're offered, which means that often he won't see the kids from Monday to Friday (which I know is common) and pretty horrible.

So we booked a holiday for this time, went for lunch at PIL's after and ended up having a huge row with them over booking it during school time.

I know this can be a sore subject, but a week of essentially watching videos and having carol concerts isn't really as important as getting to spend a whole week with your dad is it?

(Dons hard hat!)

OP posts:
SouthAmericanCuisine · 19/09/2015 22:23

The potential impact of taking unauthorised holiday in school term time is not just a fine.

You could be required to provide medical evidence of any subsequent sickness absence, or have that recorded as unauthorised as well.

If you are unlucky enough that one (or more) of your DCs contracts several illnesses over the course of the year, you could have Education Welfare Officer involvement.

Repeated unauthorised absences can be subject to court action, or de-registration.

The sanctions and punishments for unauthorised absences will continue to become more and more draconian all the while a proportion of parents disregard them.

The government aim is for no DCs to have no unauthorised absence. The reason for this is that statistically, DCs make most academic progress when they attend school.

pannetone · 19/09/2015 22:25

Blackcloud - we are recently back from Australia having cuddled a koala. We went in our UK school summer holidays so winter there. You can only hold a koala in some states (not in NSW, yes in Queensland) so our koala cuddling took place at Cairns Tropical Zoo - and it's actually best to visit tropical Queensland in their winter - it's still hot and it's the dry season.

OffMyAyersRocker · 19/09/2015 22:26

I'll be taking dd home to Aus next Christmas. It will be my first Christmas home in 7 or 8 years. I don't care in the least if it's authorised or not.

And l don't expect dd to fail her A levels either because of it not just because she'll only be in yr 1

EmeraldKitten · 19/09/2015 22:27

I also wonder what some people's children are like, that they truly think there is no educational benefit to a holiday. Do they walk around with their eyes closed and ears plugged?

Mine are like sponges. They can learn something new whilst we walk to the corner shop, never mind when we go somewhere completely new. Possibly with different sights/language/accents/customs etc.

How could it not be educational?

ForChina · 19/09/2015 22:28

It just doesn't seem likely that your DH can only take holiday outwith the (fairly generous) school holiday times so yes, YABU. Also, assuming Florida = Disney then I don't think that's an educational holiday (not that you said it was, but that's how people try to justify it). Holiday during term time aside, I do feel sorry for your kids missing the fun at the end of term. A trip to Florida vs Christmas excitement at home for a nursery child and Y1 child actually sounds way more about you than about the children (who will not really remember this in a year or two).

I think you just want some people to tell you you're perfectly reasonable as your inlaws upset you, so you have achieved what you wanted.

lljkk · 19/09/2015 22:31

DS is sporadically truant, as well as 2 weeks off in term time for hols 16 months ago, & none of that has has happened, SouthAmerican.

We camped in the Grand Canyon, btw. Too hot in summer too cold in winter jolly difficult to get a pitch in holiday dates. And played on the beach a lot & saw a million relatives.

No shortage of school places in this area.

MagicMojito · 19/09/2015 22:32

I don't think the OP is asking if she is unreasonable for taking her kids out of school. She is clearly fine with it ( and I agree fwiw) OP seems to be asking if the pil are unreasonable for kicking off at them over a joint decision they made involving their own children

MidniteScribbler · 19/09/2015 22:36

Why do people even bother asking if they're just going to go ahead and do it anyway?

swimmerforlife · 19/09/2015 22:37

YANBU, another here from the southern hemisphere who will be taking my dc out of school to go back home for christmas in their summer to visit family.

Whilst I don't find the rules ridiculous as many people do take the piss in going to Costa Del Sol in June for no other reason than it's cheaper, I think their should be a lot more leniency where you cannot get time off work, weddings abroad etc.

BrandNewAndImproved · 19/09/2015 22:39

If it's only a week don't bother applying for authorised holiday. Ring Monday morning and say dc have a stomach bug and ring again Wednesday saying s/he is still not well and you've caught it to and as dh is at work you won't be able to take him.

I think they don't fine you for 5 days anyway but I'd rather just pull a sickie.

lljkk · 19/09/2015 22:40

I think sometimes in the moment when people start threads on AIbu they are still open-minded, and weirdly enough it takes (what they see as) just a few poorly thought out arguments that really convinces them they aren't BU.

anyway, MMojito is right, OP wants to know if the plan is so bad that ILs should have kicked off like that.... I'm voting YANBU to OP.

SofiaAmes · 19/09/2015 22:40

If all you are worried about is education, then stop worrying. I missed lots of school from trips abroad and illness all the way through from elementary to high school. I still managed to get a good education and excellent exam results and get into one of the best universities.

If you are concerned about keeping up appearances and following rules, then that's another thing (which I can't advise on because neither is in my skill set).

BrandNewAndImproved · 19/09/2015 22:40

Or viral tonsillitis that's easily a week off and by the time Christmas is over dc won't be going back to school excitedly blabbing to the teacher about it.

ilovesooty · 19/09/2015 22:51

So BrandNew you think modelling lies to your child is ok?

leghoul · 19/09/2015 22:56

the law changed did it not? heads cannot now authorise term time holiday unless something extremely unusual occurs. This will be recorded as unauthorised absence - fines will ensue and worse, quite possibly the Education Welfare Officer which will kick start a lot of aggro with the school and for your life that will long outlast a week's holiday. I don't agree with it, no, but unless you're homeschooling then you need to be aware what the consequences are.

BrandNewAndImproved · 19/09/2015 22:59

Sooty I do as it happens Smile

Maybe they'll grow up to be great politicans

ilovesooty · 19/09/2015 23:02

Oh well. If the truth means little to you that explains your attitude I suppose.

BrandNewAndImproved · 19/09/2015 23:05

Or yours sooty, you don't get to take the moral high ground by acting like a superior jobsworth sort of person and trying to get me to justify myself.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 19/09/2015 23:10

My ds would prefer to be in school for the week, rather than have to see his dad!
SATS. 11+. Spelling tests. Anything please.

No, at the ages of your two, I can't see their entire futures being messed up for a week before Christmas. Is it a full week? We usually break up on something daft, like a Wednesday.

Ohbehave1 · 19/09/2015 23:19

Mistigirl. There are plenty of kids that don't see much of their dads because they work long hours and are away from home.

They would still see loads more of their dad and as has been said, would have the fun of dad picking the, up from school if they didn't go away.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/09/2015 23:29

It isn't a full calendar week but they will miss 5 days of school, and we'll go say for 9 nights.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/09/2015 23:29

Away, not say

OP posts:
Ohbehave1 · 19/09/2015 23:33

I suppose answering the op - yabu. Your PIL have every right to be concerned about the education of their grand children.

miaowroar · 19/09/2015 23:42

Haha lljkk irony right back at you Grin

starlight2007 · 19/09/2015 23:44

I think YABU posting on AIBU on about term time hols on MN...I have never in RL met anyone openly against term time holidays.

Funnily enough my DC went on 3 school trips as shockingly they can learn something out of the classroom.

I agree with the poster who said education is about more than reading and writing.

I have not long come back off holiday ( school holiday time) the things he learnt are mostly about confidence and who he is. His swimming has come on immensely..

Emmerald I remember a thread not sure if it was yours where someone won a holiday term time and I remember lots suggesting poster should of checked dates of holiday before booking