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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is taking my DC out of school really so bad??

305 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/09/2015 19:51

I'm getting a lot of shit judgement from DH's parents about our holiday plans.

I thought long and hard about it and decided that it would be okay to take them out of school given that my youngest is only in nursery (so not compulsory) and my oldest is only in year one and it will just be the week before Christmas and I don't feel she'll miss anything crucial.

My DH is told when he can have time off and has to take projects when they're offered, which means that often he won't see the kids from Monday to Friday (which I know is common) and pretty horrible.

So we booked a holiday for this time, went for lunch at PIL's after and ended up having a huge row with them over booking it during school time.

I know this can be a sore subject, but a week of essentially watching videos and having carol concerts isn't really as important as getting to spend a whole week with your dad is it?

(Dons hard hat!)

OP posts:
reni2 · 19/09/2015 20:51

Mine would hate missing the disco, Christmas jumper day, Christmas fair, School Christmas lunch, cookie baking, the Christmas production... it's a fun week at our school. Educationally they wouldn't miss much at our school, but socially it would be very hard.

Muskey · 19/09/2015 20:51

My view on this is always the same (and in this particular instance I do feel for you) take your dc out of school if you want and enjoy yourselves but remember that you might get fined.

lljkk · 19/09/2015 20:58

Tell the school they'll be off & await the £60 fine each.
It really is no BFD.
Don't tell your ILs about it again, they aren't supportive.

Picturesofmatchstickmen · 19/09/2015 20:59

Yanbu, enjoy your holiday, Florida wow! My advice would be, don't try and justify your reasons to anyone. Your child is 6, as for doing literacy and numeracy up until the last day, bollocks! I have three DC , all went to different schools, and that week in year one half are off ill and the rest are having well deserved down time, DVDs, colouring and class parties Smile

monkeyfacegrace · 19/09/2015 21:02

Mine have been out for holidays 4 times this year.

Really couldn't care less.

Holidays are fab. Kids get one childhood, if we want to go on holiday we will.

ilovesooty · 19/09/2015 21:04

4 times? You really couldn't take any of those holidays outside the school term?

FarFromAnyRoad · 19/09/2015 21:04

Just do it OP. We did it every year until GCSEs (before fines etc) - we had no choice because of my work and DH's too. DS is about to embark on his PhD - I'm pretty sure no actual harm was done. Has he grown up to disrespect rules? Not really - he has a healthy scepticism about ridiculous rules but a more law abiding person you'd be hard put to find.
So do it. No harm will come of it and I think a week with parents beats hell out of a week of shit videos and crap school plays!

Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2015 21:06

I personally wouldn't, but it sounds like you have already booked so you will just have to see what happens and pay the fine.

Bunbaker · 19/09/2015 21:07

"Mine have been out for holidays 4 times this year."

That is just taking the piss. Why don't you home educate instead?

Ohbehave1 · 19/09/2015 21:08

What a great attitude. If there is a fine I guess I will just pay it.

It makes my blood boil that some people think the rules don't apply to them. Even more so when they think that money will buy them a get out.

I think the word I am looking for is "entitled"

Shakey15000 · 19/09/2015 21:09

YANBU.

It's only September and DS has had 7 unauthorised days. DH couldn't get any other time off, I'd had major surgery in May and hadn't been cleared by consultant. So he missed the first 7 school days while we took a much needed holiday. I don't feel guilty. He had a 99% attendance last year and is performing well.

Personally I think the last week before Christmas is fine. Yes, there's no denying it's fun and it's certainly my experience that a LOT of DVD's and general winding down occurs.

vestandknickers · 19/09/2015 21:10

You are clearly going to do it anyway, but for what it's worth I agree with your PIL.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 19/09/2015 21:10

This is swiftly turning into 'who couldn't give a shirt what the schools thinks more'.

Attendance dropping below 95% in an academic year affects attainment levels.

Even in Year 1.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 19/09/2015 21:12

I think YABU.
You don't have to go off to Florida for your dh to spend time with your dc. Think how lovely and thrilling it would be for them to be picked up from school by Daddy every day that week, to go home and spend time with him, perhaps going out to pick the Christmas tree, do a bit of shopping, ice skating, have dinner out etc. The memories of that could last a lot longer than any flashy holiday abroad. And I agree with those saying that the last week before Christmas is a difficult week to miss socially.
IMO genuinely educational family travel can be a different matter, but that mainly applies to older children, I think.
Schools weakening their stance on term-time holidays would take the onus off employers to accommodate the leave needs of parents (not just mothers).

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/09/2015 21:13

How is it 'entitled'?

If I get fined, I will have to pay it. That's not entitled, surely that's quite the opposite??

OP posts:
lljkk · 19/09/2015 21:21

What was that recent news story about Xmany days off = Xmany points off the GCSE grade. I can't remember the precise rule, but we worked out that the year DS got an A in stats exam : he should have got a D grade.

If the rule of thumb was any good.

But it's now proven to be pure scheisse.

miaowroar · 19/09/2015 21:31

If you teach your children about rules and boundaries like this by the time they're 9 they will have tattoos, be pregnant, and be Manchester United fans.

Interesting. I must warn my 86-year-old lifetime Manchester United fan father. Hmm

lljkk · 19/09/2015 21:37

Humour, Miaow. Irony, I think it's called. I thought the Brits were good at it.

Supermanspants · 19/09/2015 21:37

Mine have been out for holidays 4 times this year. Really couldn't care less

You sound delightful. Hmm

Etak15 · 19/09/2015 21:38

The worst that could happen is that you will get fined £60 per parent per child per absence, so will be £120. (Don't know if the fines are higher/lower in some areas?)
The school may look at your circumstances and authorise 5 days absense or they may not - if they do put it down as unauthorised absense it's still down to the school as to wether they refer it to lea for a fine, we went away wk following spring bank this yr and although was 'unauthorised absense' they didn't refer to lea and we didn't get fined.
They usually do our school plays and party's beginning weeks of December the last week is spent watching DVDs ( no I know it isn't really they are working hard).
Enjoy your family time, it will be fine.

Ohbehave1 · 19/09/2015 21:40

MPP. you feel entitled to do what you want when you want and as you can afford it you don't care "entitled" to do whatever you want.

You are going to do what you want regardless. I just expect to see the sad face in the DM when you get fined and make a big fuss about it. After all - the rules don't apply to you do they........

Sirzy · 19/09/2015 21:41

Are you going to Florida for a week?

Supermanspants · 19/09/2015 21:42

lljkk
Obviously that does not apply to every child....... they look for an overall correlation/ trend/pattern.
Analysing link between attendance and academic achievement is pretty straightforward.

Wildernessrock · 19/09/2015 21:46

I take mine out 1-2 times a year for long weekends ( so they miss fri and mon). It does not harm their education at all and provides experiences they wouldnt get to experience otherwise. When I had one in school I would just call her in sick but with 2 I have to request, knowing it will be denied. I think the rules are stupid. Holidays in term times don't harm children's education generally. The children who have the lowest attendance have never had a holiday in their life. And it is theses children who don't achieve as they should. For primary age children, holidays are learning experience and should be treated as such.

Whisperingeye1 · 19/09/2015 21:48

Yabu. Many families have the same issues. Even more so when parents work both work full time. Mistigirl the schools absence rate is caused by parents thinking its ok to take children out of school. These are the same parents who will think twice about sending their child to a requires improvement school even though you can't get good without 96% attendance.