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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is taking my DC out of school really so bad??

305 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/09/2015 19:51

I'm getting a lot of shit judgement from DH's parents about our holiday plans.

I thought long and hard about it and decided that it would be okay to take them out of school given that my youngest is only in nursery (so not compulsory) and my oldest is only in year one and it will just be the week before Christmas and I don't feel she'll miss anything crucial.

My DH is told when he can have time off and has to take projects when they're offered, which means that often he won't see the kids from Monday to Friday (which I know is common) and pretty horrible.

So we booked a holiday for this time, went for lunch at PIL's after and ended up having a huge row with them over booking it during school time.

I know this can be a sore subject, but a week of essentially watching videos and having carol concerts isn't really as important as getting to spend a whole week with your dad is it?

(Dons hard hat!)

OP posts:
Supermanspants · 19/09/2015 21:50

The children who have the lowest attendance have never had a holiday in their life

Nothing like a bit of generalisation. Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2015 21:52

I do wonder if teachers get fed up with it. The children coming back in and then them having to catch up with what's been missed etc. Or trying to organise group activities/school plays and then to hear they will be one short.

Must be a bit Hmm for them.

Geraniumred · 19/09/2015 21:52

All holidays away are a learning experience. the youngest is in nursery in any case, the other is in year 1 and will miss approximately 23 hours of education at school (taking off time for lunch and breaks). It really isn't a big deal. I worry more about the children who never get to go away, who have never travelled on a bus or train, never mind a plane, or been anywhere at all.

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 19/09/2015 21:54

Or delighted to get rid of them for a couple of weeks depending on the child, sparkling Grin

coffeeisnectar · 19/09/2015 21:55

I think you underestimate how much learning they miss out on in the space of a week.

The week before Xmas is not all fun and games, they still have lessons and your dc will have some serious catching up to do.

But if you are going to go anyway I'm not sure why you are asking.

ilovesooty · 19/09/2015 21:57

I would have thought someone who takes their children out four times in a year would end up in court. If they aren't prosecuted they should be.

coffeeisnectar · 19/09/2015 21:58

The children with the lowest attendance have never had a holiday? Well my two never have holidays, except for a week in a caravan this year but prior to that...none. Dd 1 is 17 and has had 98% or above every year and dd 2 is in year 5 and only had about 7 days off in total in four years. Utter tosh.

EmeraldKitten · 19/09/2015 21:59

Mine are year 1 and year 3 and I'm taking them out for a week in November.

However...it's a holiday I won. Free of charge, completely. I posted a thread about it on here and the replies, if I remember correctly, were almost unanimously 'oh well if you won it, of course take them out'.

People don't bitch and moan and judge because they're truly concerned about the dc's education. They do it because it's a morality stick to beat you with.

Because my holiday landed in my lap and I didn't plan or book it, that clearly made me morally sound as a parent and people weren't nearly as against the dc taking a week off.

Go, enjoy :)

SimonIsAnArsehole · 19/09/2015 22:02

My DS never did any serious lessons, that would need to be caught up, in the week before Christmas, during his first 3 years at Primary. He also found the concerts and stuff tiring, stressful and chaotic.

Go, have a lovely time. Hopefully your school will have a sensible attitude and not pursue any fines.

lljkk · 19/09/2015 22:03

Ironic that DS should get an A in statistics GCSE, right when ( statistically speaking) he was predicted to get no better than a D!

Could have brought home to him the weaknesses of confidence intervals.

Actually just gave him compelling anecdotal evidence that attending school was even less important than he thought, since the hype was so wildly wrong.

Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2015 22:04

Did you win a holiday with specific dates Emerald? Did you not get to choose?
I might have asked for a different date maybe. Sorry don't remember your thread.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 19/09/2015 22:06

Oh yes, all the 'learning experiences'.

Yep, messing about by a pool in a hotel in Turkey for two weeks.

I'm fairly certain children aren't scarred for life if they miss that shit.

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 19/09/2015 22:07

But they aren't scarred for life if they miss school either lilac.

monkeyfacegrace · 19/09/2015 22:07

Ilovesooty I've never even been fined.

I don't understand the issue and neither does the school (off the record of course). Other than being a box ticking issue.

These weren't a week at a time btw, the first one was 2 days, second was 4 days, third was 2 days, fourth was 3 days.

My kids are achieving well above national average, and I can't justify home schooling for the sake of holidays.

Snossidge · 19/09/2015 22:08

I've just applied for a holiday for my DCs, same ages as yours OP, they'll be off Thursday-Monday next week - it was authorised no problem.

Geraniumred · 19/09/2015 22:11

OK, well holidays away are always a learning experience if children have parents who are interested in giving their children a broad education.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 19/09/2015 22:11

Ah, so some schools are happy to submit fraudulent data re attendance?

Wonderful. Must sign my kids up for them. They sound great.

ilovesooty · 19/09/2015 22:12

I see. In my LA you wouldn't be fined for absences of that duration. When you referred to holidays I thought you meant longer. I still don't see why they all have to be in school time though and I imagine the school isn't too happy.

EmeraldKitten · 19/09/2015 22:12

Sparkling, no, I had no choice.

It was just something really generic and simple I entered (name, email, submit) that I didn't really put any thought into... then I had an email a few weeks later to say I'd won Grin

It was for the first week of November and the terms (which were only given to me after I'd won) were really clear - no transfers or exchanges, this particular week or you forfeit it.

Anyway, we decided to go. I'm not much for looking a gift horse in the mouth!

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 19/09/2015 22:14

We have been making noises about going to Australia for a while and it will probably be in term time as if we went in the summer it would be winter there.

I want to hold a koala.

Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2015 22:14

That's really odd Emerald. I will think twice about entering a holiday competition I think. Confused There's loads of weeks that wouldn't be any good.

monkeyfacegrace · 19/09/2015 22:14

They were all tagged onto school holidays, so we could go away for a full week/10 days etc. Some places only had flights for example on a Weds or Sun, so we had to go over half terms + a couple days before iyswim.

angelos02 · 19/09/2015 22:15

Never mind fines. There are such long waiting lists where I live that I think children should be expelled if their parents have such little regard for the school's legal requirements.

Blu · 19/09/2015 22:17

If term time is the only time your DH can get holiday , then of course YANBU.

Take a letter from his employer , and request authorization .

No chance that you will lose their places for one week's absence when you have written a letter!

Shakey15000 · 19/09/2015 22:21

I know DS benefited from our holiday. We had him (he's 8) direct us through the airport, check the flight number/gate etc. He had the phrase book on the plane and was excited about having a bash at the language. He wrote in a diary each day listing one new thing he learnt (Learnt? Learned? Shit, and I never had a day out of term!)

We had a deal to try one new food a day (Greece). He learnt to jump in the big pool and swim across (no mean feet since his motor skills have always been poor). Spent a day with DH riding around the island, map in hand, much needed quality time and I got to piss about on the beach and have a fabulous lunch

Read four books, 3x David Walliams and 1 Diary of a Wimpy Kid and best of all, we stumbled across a village and stopped for a drink. DS got chatting to the elderly owner who told him various bits of history about the village/island and local customs, showed him/us round the church and gave him a souvenir.

That's not to assuage guilt, but seeing as some posters were questioning the possible educational merits of a holiday, I thought I'd put a penny in.

He's been back at school a week, the teacher was fine/lovely and he's "caught up" though it was mainly bits and bobs about where they were sitting and what the coming year's schedule was etc etc.