Is taking my DC out of school really so bad??

[MaryPoppinsPenguins]

I'm getting a lot of shit judgement from DH's parents about our holiday plans.

I thought long and hard about it and decided that it would be okay to take them out of school given that my youngest is only in nursery (so not compulsory) and my oldest is only in year one and it will just be the week before Christmas and I don't feel she'll miss anything crucial.

My DH is told when he can have time off and has to take projects when they're offered, which means that often he won't see the kids from Monday to Friday (which I know is common) and pretty horrible.

So we booked a holiday for this time, went for lunch at PIL's after and ended up having a huge row with them over booking it during school time.

I know this can be a sore subject, but a week of essentially watching videos and having carol concerts isn't really as important as getting to spend a whole week with your dad is it?

(Dons hard hat!)

I think it's fine

Authorised absences are for funerals and the like, not for family holidays just because you didn't get one in the summer.

You won'the get it authorised so don't apply. You'll only alert the school to the fact that the kids will be off anyway.

Someone on primary education has just had their family holiday authorised.

They'll probably learn more on holiday than from being at school in terms of new experiences. There will be lots of other years where they are around for Christmas activities and I wouldn't give it another thought.

I don't think YABU. That said, on these threads, I go when people make claims that they're going away for 'off-site education' . It's fine to say you need a break from normal life as a family. I wouldn't do it for a child older than 10 though.

Yanbu, my kids are going to miss the week Tues to Friday before the school holidays and the Tuesday the first day they go back. We are going to lanzarote, my husband is self employed and its the only two weeks of the year he could take off so we are taking it and going away. He also often works seven days a week and so the children spending time with their dad is important. Our headteacher won't authorise it and it will be unauthorised but they don't fine in Scotland yet and my daughters both had 99% attendance last year and should be the same this year minus the holiday.

Of course it's not! Go for it, your valuable family holiday together is AT LEAST as important as a week off school for a child in year 1, especially given your difficulties with taking holidays. Really, what choice do you have? I once worked for an employer whose policies were similar and i do sympathise.
Ignore all the po-faced judgements, the ban on holidays is term time is far more about the school and its position in the league tables than your children's education and the real world.

In fact DH and I are going to live abroad on a long-planned 'big adventure' for a couple of months, but not quite a term, in the new year and if DCs were still at school they would of course be coming, no matter what the school said. We could hardly leave them behind and it would be a really important experience for them too. I wonder what the education authorities could or would do in such circumstances.

An absence is authorised in our school for exceptional circumstances. Holidays are authorised if a parent is on leave from the armed services for example. It's worth applying with written proof of your situation regarding holidays. Please dont use your argument that they won't be missing much when approaching the school though. We all work harder in December then any other time of the year to fit in curriculum based stuff and all the extra Christmassy activities

The school's absence rate is not your problem
Nice attitude.

I took ds out of reception (not sure if it's any different) in the last week of school before Christmas last year. We went to stay in an log cabin.
I rang him in sick for the week.

It was the best week away we have ever had as a holiday including holidays abroad, short and long haul.

Florida, I'm so excited... reading on the dibb it's going to be stupidly busy though!

Thanks, I'm happy with our choice, I just hate PIL acting like we're doing something terrible and that our oldest could lose her place at school? (Which is surely rubbish!)

I have lived overseas where many children are taken out of school during term time for extended overseas holidays and the schools do not bat an eyelid. There is an expectation that the parents will continue with a token home ed but their view is that travel in itself is an education. My dd 9 &5 were out of school for 9 weeks and surprisingly still at the same level as their peers as we kept up with some work.

I think schools here are way to restrictive on working families. Fining people is punitive and bullying IMO.

Ringing them in sick simply teaches them that lying is acceptable to get what you want.

I'll get DH to get a letter from his employer, maybe it will help if they know I'm not lying about the holiday allocation.

OP if you feel that this few days are all the quality time you are likely to get as a family then go for it.

Pils seem a bit strange getting into a row with you. It's nothing to do with them!

"The head won't understand from a professional point of view; they're simply not allowed to authorise term time holidays. It will go down as an unauthorised absence"

Unfortunately slightlyconfused85 is correct. This is from a letter all the parents at DD's school received at the beginning of term:

"Furthermore, government guidelines do not allow us to authorise ‘Leave of Absence’ requests for anything other than exceptional circumstances. BMBC have defined ‘exceptional circumstances’ as terminal illness or bereavement. We will implement these guidelines consistently for all our students."

Although, in your shoes, I would do the same as you.

Maybe your PIL are jealous! It sounds fabulous.

Of course it's important for a child to spend time with their dad, but you're kidding yourself if you think it has no effect at school. They may well be doing mostly fun things during the last week, but there is still educational benefit to them. Year ones at my school would still be doing literacy and numeracy. They also perform the nativity play which the children will have been working on for weeks, and have the fun things that will have been spoken about before the last week. It's always quite sad for the children that have to sit through the preparations knowing they won't be joining in for the big events.

I find the general condemnation of parents taking children out of school very strange. They are your children, they don't belong to the state or to the school. The only time I think it would be wrong is in the direct run up to public exams. For children as small as the OP's it is going to make bugger all difference to their long term progress.

I think it is very sad when families don't get a holiday together, whether it is because of work / cash or lifestyle. My Dad was in the Navy, the time he was at home was unpredictable and we would very rarely have got to go away with him if we were not taken out of school.

YANBU but I used love love love Christmas week at school and would have been sad to miss it. But probably not at year 1, and I don't remember nursery. I think you are doing the best for your family and academic education wise they don't do much that week!

My school are in the process of sending out letters that parents have to read and sign to say they understand about the seriousness of term-time holidays.

Schools are -or should be - taking it more seriously this year. And, tbh, I'd have very little faith in any school that allows holiday on the grounds that you've given.

And lessons will be going on, certainly literacy and numeracy, until at least the day before they break up. It's not a week of pissing about, believe it or not.

Even with a letter from the employer it won't be authorised, heads can't now for a family holiday.

School finished around 3pm so plenty of time after for family time and a weekend away at the end could have been tagged on. That way your DD could have enjoyed the christmas fun with her friends and not have to catch up on work when back.

Maybe the PIL simply care about their schooling, it's ok for them to be worried or maybe they feel it's a band aid for a problem where their son works all hours and is missing out.

lilac- why are term time holidays such a big issue? I realise it looks bad for the school, but otherwise why does it make such a difference?