To think my 5yr old and her friend shouldn't be able to wander out of the class room and go wandering for 10 mins without her teacher noticing ?

[ilooklikemrsploppy]

Background : I've took a bit of an instant dislike to DD's teacher but am trying my best not to be the psycho, over protective mother that teachers must come up against all the time. I find her very abrupt and stern for a P1 teacher. On the few occassions I've spoke with her she has also insisted on speaking to me as though I'm also 5 despite being 41. She's early 20's. I know DD can be a handful and is a mischevious wee minx given the opportunity.

Today DD met me at the school gates in floods of tears as her face had been moved down from the green zone (all is good in the world) into the red zone (you lose half your golden time on a Friday afternoon). She mumbled something about going to the toilet with her friend but I couldn't make sense of what she was saying. So I approached the teacher with DD hanging off one arm in floods of tears and DS hanging off the arm moaning about wanting to go home. I asked why her face had been moved and her teacher told me that DD and her friend had decided to leave the class room without asking and went for a wander. Her teacher said that she got a fright and was looking for them before they eventually appeared about 10 mins later. They'd gone to the loo. She said that it was obviously unacceptable for them to do this and she had to know where the pupils were at all times. In between two screaming/crying kids I couldn't think of everything I should have said but when I was driving I thought "how the fuck did they actually get out the class room without her noticing ?" I've been quizzing DS and he says sometimes the class room doors are open, sometimes closed depending on what the teacher is teaching at the time. DD was naughty but AIBU to think that two 5 yr olds shouldn't be able to sneak out a classroom. There was never any chance of them getting out of the building as there is a main door which is a security type door and the janitor sits there.

I seem to be in a minority but I don't think YABU. I'd expect a teacher to know where her pupils are, and I don't think saying she has a busy class is a good enough excuse.

Your DD and her friend were badly behaved and I hope you reinforced that to your DD. However, it's not an either/or situation.

Even if a DC can't get out of a school building, they can still come to harm and it is the school's responsibility to keep them safe.

But it's going to be a long year for you and an unsettled one for your DD if you don't work to overcome your initial dislike of her teacher.

Ilooklikemrsploppy - have you ever tried to keep your eye on 39 children all at once? Have you tried to do that whilst explaining something to a child or group of children, or dealing with one child who is poking another child with his pencil, or mopping up one who has fallen over and is crying, whilst several more are all trying to get your attention?

I have helped out in the classroom sometimes, and there is a LOT going on - it is impossible to watch all of the children all of the time. That is why there are rules about things like asking before you go to the loo. I am sure your dd has been told this rule, and the others on classroom behaviour - but children do forget - maybe she forgot, maybe she was being a mischievous minx and decided to go for a wander - either way, she has had a consequence that has made a real impression on her, and this should help her remember the rule the next time she needs the loo or wants to go exploring.

Yabu. You need to stop your dislike colouring your judgement

Bugger - not 39 children - 30 children. Must proof read better!

Your daughter and her friend were disobedient, were observed and were justly punished.
Hopefully she will learn not to misbehave again, despite your over-indulgent attitude towards her, and your unreasonable dislike of her teacher.

She is concerned with the whereabouts and the safety of the children, and she doesn't want them wandering off which is why she's made it clear to your DD that it is a punishable offence to wander away from the classroom. Shes making a big deal of it so your daughter will in the future learn to stay where she's supposed to be. Isn't that supposed to be what you want?

YABU. It would not have even occurred to me to ask the teacher why my DS had been moved on to red, even if he was in tears. I'd assume he had been naughty and the teacher dealt with as he/she saw fit.

Yes PaulAnka I told her off, explained why it was so important to listen to the teacher and asked her how she thought her teacher would feel if anything g bad had happened to her. The way you're going on I should be giving her 50 of the belt and sending her to bed with bread and water. She's mischievous and gets bored easily but that's something that she/we will need to overcome so that nothing similar happens again. And I was supportive of the teacher when I spoke to her. I thanked her and said that I completely understood why she took the action she did.

Goblin - sorry but feck off with the over indulgent comment. This is the first and only time Dd has ever done anything as serious as this.

APlaceOnTheCouch

But how can a teacher realistically be watching the door at all times, whilst also teaching children - especially if they are at tables, working in groups, or moving around the room?

Heck, there were many a times I didn't see my own one child slip out of the room when she ws smaller, let alone if there were 30 of them!

I teach this age group and it does happen. Very occasionally children take it upon themselves to wander off to the toilet, usually to cause mischief there!

I don't notice instantly, too busy teaching!

Saying your child is bored is not an excuse

Dd in reception - if teacher told me she had done what your dd did I would be sitting down with her and talking about what she did and the fact she must ask a teacher and never wonder out if the class without speaking to the teacher first.
You are angry the teacher didn't notice but it sounds like she did notice pretty quickly. Really not sure why you're angry the teacher for your dd's behaviour.

Bored easily
Minx
Mischievous

It just sounds like your daughter just needs to learn to do as she's told!

The way you're going on I should be giving her 50 of the belt and sending her to bed with bread and water.

Defensive much? I highly doubt anyone else took my comments like that.

You should be pleased the teacher has taken this so seriously. Your DD needs to understand that she can't just wander off whenever she chooses.

Hulababy I take your point (and I have lots of teachers in my family so I'm not completely ignorant of or unsympathetic to the challenges) but ultimately if something happens to a 5-yr-old at school, the school is responsible. Also, we have no idea of the class size and what the teacher was doing. The OP's DD will not be the first or last DC to try to escape or explore, especially in P1.

I see your concern, of course I do, but as previously mentioned teachers can not watch 30 children all at the same time, constantly. It's nye on impossible. She is 5 not a little baby of 2 so therefore should no better, that you do not just wonder out of the class room. You say she is a minx, well that's all very well most children are but you should be instilling in her the importance of following rules, which are there for a reason is safety ect.
I take my hst off to teachers.All the things they have put up with irrate parents oftsed making ridiculous and unrealistic demands, and to top it all off, parents who take an instant dislike them

Know not no

Seeing the consequence that the OP's dd and her friend received may go some way towards deterring other children who consider wandering off, though, APlace. I am not saying that is why the teacher imposed the punishment, but it may be a useful side effect.

P1 is reception, right? I think people are being a tad harsh, she's very young! I do think YABU though, sorry.

So 28 children follow the rules, they must therefore be older? Teacher wasnt harsh,or making an example. She moved zones and loses 10 mins play. Job done.

I think people are being a tad harsh, she's very young!

She is, for sure. I think the harshness is due to the attitude of the OP who dies seem to be very hard on the teacher with no exception that her daughter should be responsible enough to follow the rules.