To think my 5yr old and her friend shouldn't be able to wander out of the class room and go wandering for 10 mins without her teacher noticing ?

[ilooklikemrsploppy]

Background : I've took a bit of an instant dislike to DD's teacher but am trying my best not to be the psycho, over protective mother that teachers must come up against all the time. I find her very abrupt and stern for a P1 teacher. On the few occassions I've spoke with her she has also insisted on speaking to me as though I'm also 5 despite being 41. She's early 20's. I know DD can be a handful and is a mischevious wee minx given the opportunity.

Today DD met me at the school gates in floods of tears as her face had been moved down from the green zone (all is good in the world) into the red zone (you lose half your golden time on a Friday afternoon). She mumbled something about going to the toilet with her friend but I couldn't make sense of what she was saying. So I approached the teacher with DD hanging off one arm in floods of tears and DS hanging off the arm moaning about wanting to go home. I asked why her face had been moved and her teacher told me that DD and her friend had decided to leave the class room without asking and went for a wander. Her teacher said that she got a fright and was looking for them before they eventually appeared about 10 mins later. They'd gone to the loo. She said that it was obviously unacceptable for them to do this and she had to know where the pupils were at all times. In between two screaming/crying kids I couldn't think of everything I should have said but when I was driving I thought "how the fuck did they actually get out the class room without her noticing ?" I've been quizzing DS and he says sometimes the class room doors are open, sometimes closed depending on what the teacher is teaching at the time. DD was naughty but AIBU to think that two 5 yr olds shouldn't be able to sneak out a classroom. There was never any chance of them getting out of the building as there is a main door which is a security type door and the janitor sits there.

What's "golden time"?

I can't walk up the corridor without being cuddled at least six times.

Yup, cuddles are fine here as well. I'd be annoyed at a school that tried to say my child couldn't give their teacher a hug.

Its free choice play on a friday afternoon, about half an hour. If nice outside if not its lego.

Half an hour a week of free choice play? For 5 year olds?

That's fucking ridiculous. Glad we don't live in England. Sounds like schools are run like prisons.

Golden time seems like a pretty rotten idea to me. Surely there is plenty of opportunity for play within Reception anyway, without having GT? And better to punish right away, not drag the whole thing out for days.

This child is in year 1, not reception.

Can I just clarify something? In England it's normal for children to go from a predominantly play-based curriculum to one where they get half an hour a week with no transition period? And some of these children will have turned 5 during the endless to them school holidays where they probably spent most of their waking hours playing?

And nobody can see anything wrong with that?

Its not like that. They do play but its based on the learning objective. So letters in sand, counting beads, making chains to 20, water activity etc. The free play is choosing rather set group activity.

So it's closely controlled play then?

There is plenty of play at 5. At our school, there are also plenty of cuddles - but not during carpet time when the teacher is explaining the next activity. That wouldn't be appropriate in reception either.

We are in Scotland. Not sure how different P1 north of the border is compared to the rest of the UK.

....and she seems very optimistic that she's going to go from red to green today do this could be interesting

Wall of shame...oy vey.
In my experience, children respond quite well to the idea of being in different zones on the wall according to behaviour. They get it and it provides motivation.
Society actually needs there to be some element of shame to function well. Shame, or perceived potential shame, is why people conform to the rules of society. People, humans, need to know that certain actions will earn them the respect, or disdain, of their peers. It's tribal. When schools get hung up on not punishing in case of causing shame, and only dealing with errant behaviour in positive ways, thats when bullying flourishes , because the bullies are never effectively dealt with.
This is based on personal experience, and is very frustrating.
OP, I think you already know you were a bit unreasonable, but I'm not going to judge you for having to deal with a wailing child after school. Been there! And five is so very little, it's not the end of the world she will be fine in a few months.
Oh, and you are allowed to not like the teacher. You can't like them all, doesn't mean you will undermine her.
Some teachers really are crap at dealing with parents, and make it clear they would rather not have to.

disappointed not "controlled" play, but lead play.

Like how you might make a game out of counting the cars when you go to tidy up.

Or spotting everything red on a bus journey.

Or seeing who can make a breadstick into a T?

they're not chained to desk reciting times tables, or having a teacher rlooming ove them "Play with this toy now. Like this"

I've just asked a friend what her son's experience of year one has has been and she says they get held in at breaktime if they haven't finished their written work (maths/English), that golden time is 20 mins a week and that they get told off/lose golden time completely if they don't sit perfectly still and quiet whilst in the classroom. Her son turned 5 on 29th August. She's considering homeschooling. I don't blame her. It sounds horrible. (And based on PISA scores, doesn't work. Ever likely older kids are disengaged from education.)

At my dc school, all thru Ks1 they had a similar thing to golden time every afternoon-lots of free play.
This is in England. I think lots of play in ks1 is the norm.

Ds was once held back from golden time because he hadn't finished his "work". Further digging on my part revealed that the "work" was in fact a photocopied picture of Jesus that was to be coloured in. (Easter time at a Catholic school! ) But that's a discussion for another day

00100001 in one of my previous roles, I did go in and out of schools, giving talks to pupil. So no, I'm not a teacher but I have spent a lot of time in different schools (rather than only seeing one way of managing a class) and ,as I said, I have lots of primary teachers in my immediate family. They'd all agree P1s are hard work but none of them have lost a pupil yet!

But, I have noticed that in most of the schools I visited, the positioning of the pupils' desks and the teacher's desk made it more difficult for DCs to escape. Also, in the first few weeks, some schools would have older pupils in to help; all of them kept the doors closed; and if it was an open plan class, then they had a chat with the other teachers in the area about managing pupils, etc.

It's not treating the class like a prison. It's acknowledging that for the first few weeks, some new pupils may struggle with the rules.

math I agree with you completely about 'golden time', especially delaying consequences; isolating DCs and the implication that learning definitely isn't fun.

DisappointedOne - this child is in P1, not Year 1 - I believe this is the equivalent of Reception, in Scotland. They certainly don't have a school year called Reception, P1 is the first year of primary school - Primary 1.

They also stay on in primary school until about age 12, and go up to senior school in the equivalent of Year 8 in England - which is called S1 (Senior 1) in Scotland.

I don't properly understand the starting ages in Scotland and how they tie up with England, because we moved up when ds3 was 11, in year 6 in England and he went into P6 here - but year 6 was actually his 7th year of schooling - Reception, plus years 1-6 in England, but his contemporaries in Scotland were just completing their sixth year of school - P1-P6. But as far as I can see, they start at similar ages.

Hopefully someone will come and explain it to me!

disappointed "they get held in at breaktime if they haven't finished their written work (maths/English)"
This is quite normal I gather.

"that golden time is 20 mins a week and that they get told off/lose golden time completely if they don't sit perfectly still and quiet whilst in the classroom."

Well, there's definitely no 'lost in translation' going on here is there, a 5 year old telling a mum something, who then recounts that to you, and you then post it on a board where your position is clearly anti-whatever isn't your education system.

SDTG when DCs in Scotland start P1 (we have no reception year) they are aged between 4.5 and 5.5.

So a DC whose birthday is in December will start school in Aug at age 4.5, but if you have a DC whose birthday is in April then they will be 5.5 by the time they start in August. The cut-off is usually February iyswim

Gosh they are climbing into you OP. I feel for you!

Our family (aunts,great aunts,grannies and cousins) across 4 continents was horrified when one of our little five year olds was excluded from an Easter egg hunt ,had to clean a toy area and as a result was late for school dinner for a similar transgression to your little one.5YEARS OLD!A never to be forgotten punishment.

I can tell you the matriarchs were ready to stampede!!All the way to England!

Thanks, APlace.

Well, there's definitely no 'lost in translation' going on here is there, a 5 year old telling a mum something, who then recounts that to you, and you then post it on a board where your position is clearly anti-whatever isn't your education system.

What made you think that came from the child? It didn't. A group of parents are so unhappy they've already been to see the teacher concerned and the headteacher. So with respect, up yours.

I've took a bit of an instant dislike to DD's teacher but am trying my best not to be the psycho, over protective mother that teachers must come up against all the time.

Do you have to try particularly hard not to be a psycho?