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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be concerned about a man sitting outside my house for the past 5 hours?

296 replies

Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:41

As title.

I was making breakfast before I dashed out to work at 7.55 pm and a car with blacked out windows parks up on the pavement outside. A man sat there with an iPad.

I have just returned home for lunch 5.5 hours later and he is still here, still sat in the car with iPad. I am here on my own for the next few days as DP is away and it is freaking me out. It is a residential street but quiet as we are in the country.

Should I approach him?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 18/09/2015 17:50

"'How dare you glare at him, he's done nothing wrong! - from BertrandRussell isn't a million miles away from 'What do you mean, you don't want him bothering you, he's just being friendly"

It is absolutley a million miles away. What a very silly thing to say. The man in the car did not engage with the op at all.

TamaraLamara · 18/09/2015 18:00

'How dare you glare at him, he's done nothing wrong! - from BertrandRussell isn't a million miles away from 'What do you mean, you don't want him bothering you, he's just being friendly!'

So it's fine to glare at all persons minding their own business and not bothering us at All on the off chance that their next step is to start a campaign of harrassment?

Sitting in a car, on a public road, not breaking any laws, not harassing or bothering anyone, looking at an iPad and writing in a notebook in no way equates to being a potential murderer and shouldn't automatically invite hostility or assumptions of nefarious intent.

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 18/09/2015 18:07

He was sitting right outside my house, looking right into my fucking dining room FFS. ALL DAY!!! Yes, he probably was monitoring someone over the road but the fact was, his drivers seat window was exactly parallel to my dining room window and was about a metre away. I don't want some idiot parked up for 8 bloody hours, with blacked out windows, possibly dodgy number plates sitting and potentially staring into my house all day, especially when I'm there in my own. The road is a narrow road too so, actually, he was causing a slight obstruction and had any large vehicle tried to get down the road, they would've had a hard bloody job.

What he was doing, potentially wasn't illegal no (although having fake plates is as far as I'm aware) but it was disconcerning and bloody irritating.

The police said I did the right thing by calling, said it seemed odd and if he comes back again, phone them right away. I doubt they would've said 'you're being a drama queen' but they could have implied it and they didn't, they were really nice and helpful.

Just because YOU wouldn't give a shit, doesn't mean we all wouldn't.

OP posts:
TamaraLamara · 18/09/2015 18:20

looking right into my fucking dining room FFS. ALL DAY!!!

I must have missed this salient point when you mentioned it earlier, in which case I apologise unreservedly.

Though I do recall you saying that 'fake plates' was your own conjecture and not what was said by the police.

Travelledtheworld · 18/09/2015 18:22

chocolate you did exactly the right thing. It was weird.
Ignore the vipers.

TheoriginalLEM · 18/09/2015 18:39

was he there today?

SmugairleRoin · 18/09/2015 18:42

I doubt he was specifically gazing into your window, if he was trailing you for anything he wouldn't park outside your house. But anyway. I'll go join the "wouldn't have given a shit" club in the corner.

gonegrey56 · 18/09/2015 18:44

Just out of curiosity, you could look up the Transport for London pay congestion charge page, and enter the registration number of the car ( as if you wanted to pay the charge) . The system tells you what car make is registered for that particular number . It would be interesting to see what this tells you (and if course you stop the process at this point ).

Ta1kinPeace · 18/09/2015 18:51

gonegrey
THis site is easier for checking numberplates
www.halfords.com/motoring/bulbs-blades-batteries/car-bulbs

Squishyeyeballs · 18/09/2015 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oysterbabe · 18/09/2015 21:44

My uncle had a bit of a breakdown and used to pretend to go to work and sit in the woods all day. Maybe he's just avoiding being at home for some reason.
Anyway, I wouldn't care.

laureywilliams · 18/09/2015 21:44

Or tell us the reg and we'll do it.

TenForward82 · 18/09/2015 21:50

Close the dining room curtains?

Did you actually catch him staring in your window? Because I haven't seen you specifically say that anywhere. I thought he was on his iPad.

FairNotFit · 18/09/2015 21:52

I checked my registration on the Halfords site, Ta1kinPeace - and it doesn't come up, even though it's 100% OK. So try not to worry, OP! Brew

Ta1kinPeace · 18/09/2015 21:57

fairnotfit
have you tried confused.com?

I use them to see if cars I used to own have been scrapped Grin

ScarletRuby · 18/09/2015 22:01

Oh dear, he's gone. What ever will you do for drama tomorrow.? Maybe you could use the free time to learn how to be a bit more independent.

FairNotFit · 18/09/2015 22:02

Doesn't work on confused.com either, Ta1k! I know why this is; it's because it was first registered when new to a member of the British army who was based in Germany, and that's why it doesn't show up on many UK databases.

But it is registered with the DVLA, which is the main thing!!

Ta1kinPeace · 18/09/2015 22:06

fairy nuff
but your car is pretty unusual

scarlett
Have you ever had people sitting outside your door watching your house for several hours.
I'm well along the psychotic scale but I found it well creepy when it happened to me.

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 18/09/2015 22:08

WTF?! 'A bit more independent' ??

You know absolutely nothing about me. I'm perfectly independent, I have horses, I'm on my own in the pitch dark, in the middle of nowhere, late at night entirely on my own all the time in the winter, have been for years and I'm not at all bothered.

Stop thinking you know me after 1 thread.

OP posts:
ScarletRuby · 18/09/2015 22:13

You have said something tithe tune of 'I wish my DP was here' in a number of your posts. What would he do if he was there?

ScarletRuby · 18/09/2015 22:15

Ta1kinPeace No, but if I did I would go and have a chat with him instead of getting myself so wound up!

TenForward82 · 18/09/2015 22:16

peace, unless I've missed it, we still haven't established that he was actually watching her house. Apparently he was on his iPad. Unless he was holding it up taking pictures of the OP's dining room, or blatantly gawping at her through the window, there's no evidence he was even there for the OP.

Ta1kinPeace · 18/09/2015 22:18

scarlet
I decided that was not a good idea because it was a huge black BMW with 4 Mike Tyson lookalikes in it.
They later came and knocked on the door and asked to check my house for want they wanted to find.
I nodded, smiled and squeezed against the wall.
The were polite as they left but I remember every second of it 25 years later.

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 18/09/2015 22:21

Yes, he was staring into the dining room
On a few occasions. Perhaps it was just something to look at or he was aware I could see him from my dining room I don't know, but he definitely looked in on a few occasions. I shut the blinds eventually but even that was awkward as I had to do it right in front of him, cringe. I shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable in my own home.

OP posts:
ScarletRuby · 18/09/2015 22:21

I still would have done it.