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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about a man sitting outside my house for the past 5 hours?

296 replies

Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:41

As title.

I was making breakfast before I dashed out to work at 7.55 pm and a car with blacked out windows parks up on the pavement outside. A man sat there with an iPad.

I have just returned home for lunch 5.5 hours later and he is still here, still sat in the car with iPad. I am here on my own for the next few days as DP is away and it is freaking me out. It is a residential street but quiet as we are in the country.

Should I approach him?

OP posts:
ScarletRuby · 19/09/2015 23:04

I really don't know where that 'era' came from, but as I said please don't mis-quote me. Where Have I said "severe anxiety problems' and please refrain from the fuck off. You asked if you were BU, I think you are.

Scremersford · 19/09/2015 23:09

Of course OP, if you had, as some posters say you should, confronted the man in his car, you would have been accused of being unduly inquisitive or suchlike. Whereas a simple enquiry on the reg no leaves the man in peace.

Some other mumsnetters would no doubt encourage you to invite man-in-car into your home and put him up for the night (ignoring any protests on his part) in case he is homeless or similar. At the very least, you would have to offer him a cup of coffee and invite him to use your bathroom!

Odd sounding man anyway. Personally, I think its better to be alert and notice these things. Noticing these things, making one call about a reg no and posting about it on mumsnet would appear to be unusual criteria for a diagnosis of anxiety.

Scremersford · 19/09/2015 23:14

ScarletRuby do you think its possible that you may be suffering from anxiety over whether other people have anxiety when they are simply commenting on perfectly reasonable things?

ScarletRuby · 19/09/2015 23:20

I'm off, it's all got a bit 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' in here.

TheoriginalLEM · 19/09/2015 23:25

did he come back?

wowfudge · 19/09/2015 23:35

"More than every day anxiety" - you're a piece of work Scarlet.

It may not be illegal, etc, etc, but it is pretty bloody weird to spend the whole day sitting in a car outside someone else's home - whether you know them or not.

rainbowstardrops · 20/09/2015 08:42

severe anxiety problem?
Jeez, some people Confused

OneBreathAfterAnother · 20/09/2015 09:23

Bloody hell it got weird in here. And there's not even any indication that he came back.

PerpendicularVincent · 20/09/2015 09:55

I hope you're ok, OP. You have every right to feel worried if a situation doesn't sit right with you. I wouldn't be excessively keen on the idea of someone sitting outside my house for so long.

Ignore the unhelpful comments, unfortunately you often get them in AIBU.

Supermanspants · 20/09/2015 10:13

Somewhat surprised at the shoeing you have been getting from some on here. Of course it would be a concern if someone had parked up for that long outside your house. Nothing wrong at all with logging it. No different to the neighbourhood watch schemes.

ArendelleQueen · 20/09/2015 11:13

I don't actually think YABU for calling the police but you posted on AIBU and are unwilling to hear the other views. I'm not talking about the people who are being goady. Then again, this seems par for the course on most AIBU threads these days. Hmm

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 20/09/2015 14:02

I don't mind people telling me I was being unreasonable for logging the call with 101, if that's what they think then fair dos. I do however have a problem with the personal assumptions & insults especially regarding my health. I literally read them like, WTF?! Totally unnecessary. You just don't do that. There's a line & a few posters crossed it.

OP posts:
ArendelleQueen · 20/09/2015 16:33

I don't disagree with you on those who 'diagnosed' anxiety. It's offensive and thinly veiled snipe at people do have anxiety.

ScarletRuby · 20/09/2015 18:41

Actually AndrelleQueen if you're talking about me then no, it's not. It was not a snipe, thinly veiled or otherwise. If you actually read what I said, rather than what other people quoted me as saying was that I realised that there may be a certain level of axiety here and that I would stop commenting because I had realised that there may more here and I didn't want to offend, then me being told to fuck off by the op and people jumping on the bandwagon (along with the misquoting). I don't expect anyone to see passed this and it doesn't bother me, it's just the way AIBU goes.

Scremersford · 20/09/2015 19:27

To be honest, when I read these exclamations of remarkable conditions that others suspect people of suffering from on mumsnet, as you do, I don't think "Gosh, you outstanding diagnose of medical conditions in the absence of a medical degree and proper examination", I think "itching to have Munchausens by Proxy". Then I get a grip and remind myself how bloody silly it is to diagnose people on forums. Seriously, why would anyone say something like that, and repeatedly? Whats to be gained from it? I'm no medical expert, but you certainly need far, far more than what the OP has posted to even consider making a GP apt, and I would hope that a GP would have enough common sense to consider it a complete waste of time, in the absence of many, many other diagnostic symptoms. So I can only assume it makes the accuser feel better about themselves. I don't really want to speculate on this, but its really damned annoying when someone is clearly just having a bit of a moan, sharing thoughts, etc. and you get posters insisting that they suffer from anxiety or whatever.

Remember, the OP lives semi-rurally, and these areas often have neighbourhood watch schemes who would have several people noticing things like this.

ScarletRuby · 20/09/2015 20:08

Jeez, are people actually not able to read here. I have not diagnosed, I said there 'may' be in which case I was bowing out so I didn't offend anybody.

Yourethe1formefatty · 20/09/2015 21:45

"ScarletRuby Fri 18-Sep-15 22:01:35
Oh dear, he's gone. What ever will you do for drama tomorrow.? Maybe you could use the free time to learn how to be a bit more independent."

Posted like a twat.

Got called on it.

Posted like a twat some more.

That's what I can read.

ScarletRuby · 20/09/2015 21:59

If you think that's posting like a twat that's fine. I was merely giving my opinion on what I then saw as the ridiculous behaviour of the op. I have no issue in being called on it because people have opinions, that's why it's called AIBU. What I do have an issue with is being accused of diagnosing stuff and being misquoted.

Yourethe1formefatty · 20/09/2015 22:12

" I have come to realise this may be a bit more than everyday anxiety"

"Rather than whipping yourself into a frenzy and reporting someone who hasn't actually committed a crime"

You do know that 101 is a non-emergency number for discussing concerns with police?

Because you wrote as though you were under the opinion the OP tried to report a crime to the police after 'whipping herself into a frenzy' because her DH was away.

The only hysterical, hyperbolic poster on this thread is you, scarletruby.

ScarletRuby · 20/09/2015 22:17

Oh dear.

PressTheAButton · 20/09/2015 22:20

Scarlet
Lots of posters thought the OP was being OTT but didn't find it necessary to post in such an aggressive and unpleasant way as you have

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