To be concerned about a man sitting outside my house for the past 5 hours?

[Whitechocolatetoblerone]

As title.

I was making breakfast before I dashed out to work at 7.55 pm and a car with blacked out windows parks up on the pavement outside. A man sat there with an iPad.

I have just returned home for lunch 5.5 hours later and he is still here, still sat in the car with iPad. I am here on my own for the next few days as DP is away and it is freaking me out. It is a residential street but quiet as we are in the country.

Should I approach him?

When my children are invited to parties or events or play dates anything like that it is quite normal for me to sit in the car outside.

They like doing stuff with their friends but because of some issues they have it is easier to deal with if I am incredibly close by, they don't want me in the house because independence is important.

On a few occasions I may have been sat outside in a car for an entire day doing nothing other than minding my own business reading books or catching up on paperwork or admin stuff. It is a perfectly legal activity

I have had nosey fuckers spend a fair bit of time scowling and glaring at me as if I am doing something wrong or am personally offending them and on 3 occasions I have had people walk up to my car and either just open the doors or bang on the window and be hostile and aggressive with me one charming man threatened to smash my teeth down my throat if I didnt piss off from his street.
More times than I can remember I have had people approach me and demand to know what I am doing usually quite rudely and loads say they have called the police,but why anybody feels they are entitled to know what I'm doing I don't know.

If I am on the public highway doing a perfectly lawful activity why is that anybody's buisness?

And why are the people who ask always rude about it.

For what it's worth not once has any police officer said a word about it to me.

How strange. The times I've had to pull over in my car to get an internet link for work, or just to wait out some time, or have lunch and read the paper, I'm always careful to park so as not to be right outside someone's window. e.g. a quite part of a supermarket car park, or spare parking in a housing estate not facing onto any houses. Even then, I'd probably move after a few hours if I had to spend all day there (and not just to charge my computer/phone), but because I wouldn't want to attract attention.

Equally, I'd find someone sitting parked in a car all day outside right outside my home a bit suspicious. It would occur to me that they might be watching comings and goings for a potential burglary. That does happen. And there has just been an unfortunate case involving the killing of a woman in her own home.

Quite likely, this man is simply a bit ignorant of other people's privacy, particularly if he hasn't just moved up the road a bit after being glared at. It would annoy and slightly disturb me though, if it was a quietish road. I would possibly ask him what he was doing, maybe taking someone else with me if he was a bit dodgy looking.

Many many years ago when I lived in New York with exh no.1, I noticed that there seemed to be a rotation of men (the same ones reappearing) hanging out on the stoop of the building across the street. I was sure that they were lookouts and that the building that they were guarding was our building. During the same time period I noticed well dressed (out of character for the area) men going in and out of the basement of our building where the super lived. The super never was available to repair anything (his job) and was always dripping in gold and diamonds (not normal for this part of town). In addition, the very first day I came to the building to visit exh (he had lived there before I came into the picture), I ran into a kid that I had known in elementary school back in California (very weird that I recognized him) and he told me that his first job in NYC was working for a (illegal) bookie because he was good at math. The bookie knew the owner of our building and hooked him up with a rent controlled apartment in the building. I put all of this evidence together and decided that there was a major drug ring being run out of the building. Exh had no end of amusement making fun of my conspiracy theories. Fast forward another year and the super of the building disappears and a new one appears and tells us that the old super and a whole crew of other people had been arrested because they were running a major drug ring out of the basement of the building. Exh never made fun of my conspiracy theories (based on careful observation of my surroundings) after that.

Gotta love MN - scary bad people simply don't exist! There is an innocent explanation for everything and you're a paranoid basket case if you think otherwise. Paedophiles are a figment of your imagination, etc etc.

OP, instincts are there for a reason. It's bloody weird to sit right outside someone's house and look in at them like that. About 6 weeks ago there was outrage on a thread when a man insisted that it's ok to sit next to a lone woman on a train carriage and it's not intimidating.

Yet people come here to shriek and throw insults around because someone feels uncomfortable about a situation that is obviously very strange.

People on MN can be very, very, very naive.

I speak as someone who worked for the police and knew exactly what was going on in the streets around me. There was a weird guy in the flat opposite me who used to stare in my bedroom window. He freaked me out. Turns out he was out on bail appealing a sentence for raping and murdering an elderly lady.

Some airheads on MN have no clue, they really, really don't.

The thing is though, Yourthe1, that mostly scary bad things don't happen. That's why they hit the news when they do. And, for all the reasons given in this thread, it's not that weird or strange for someone to be sitting in a car for long periods. If we all panicked about these things, the police would never have any time to catch the real scary bad men.

"The thing is though, Yourthe1, that mostly scary bad things don't happen. That's why they hit the news when they do."

Keep telling yourself that.

Nice fatty, calling people on here airheads because they don't agree with you. I go headlong into very inflammatory situations in other people's homes on a daily basis. That doesn't make me any better judge of what this guy was up to than the OP. What I would do in this situation is go and ask the guy what he was up to, rather than working myself up into a paranoid frenzy and bleating about my DP not being at home.

I'm not calling people who don't agree with me airheads.

I'm discussing the fact that that SOME people on MN are naive in the extreme. Fingers in the ears, la-la-la, everything's disney let's belittle anyone doesn't think the same way types.

If people recognise themselves in that description, I'm not bothered if it offends them. I'm really not.

"rather than working myself up into a paranoid frenzy and bleating about my DP not being at home"

As 'nice' seems to be important to you, shall we discuss this ^^ Was that 'nice'? Or is it ok for you to twist the truth to belittle other people?

I have no words to describe the inanity of that argument.

Argument?

God, what a nasty lot some of you are.

YANBU, OP.

sorry by argument, I mean point you are raising.

How have I twisted the truth op? I have asked you repeatedly why you just didn't go and ask him what he was doing and you have declined to answer me. You have mentioned repeatedly how vulnerable you are because your DP is away.

My apologies ignore my last post fatty, I was confused and thought you were the OP.

If she was scared of him being outside then why the fuck would she be comfortable with going up to him and asking him what he was doing?

Do you really need OP to answer that question? It's pretty bloody obvious why she didn't ask him what he was doing.

Some people are more anxious than others. This scared the OP. Big fucking deal. I guess she deserves the stick she got because she got more anxious than other posters might have done.

OP, you were worried and called the police. You have done nothing wrong, except be human who sometimes gets scared over things.

I would have been worried too.

Her anxiety was based on what he could be/was doing, if she had simply asked him her mind could have been put at rest. Instead she ended up ringing the police to report a non-crime which only appeared to agitate her even more. Actually now I written that I think she may need some help with her anxiety.

All of you who say you would go out and challenge the man have clearly never been there
when it happened to me I analysed the risk and chose not to
years later , when I chose to take a photo of suspicious activity, I was very careful
but then I've had my car vandalised and my windows air gunned

most of the posters on this thread have hypothetical bravery
not the real stuff

If you're worried about a suspicious person, call the police. That's what they're there for. They'll decide what to do.

The police would advise you against confronting someone or placing yourself in danger.

Obviously what confrontation or danger means is up to you. Some people would feel happy about tapping on a car window and asking the driver what they were doing and others might not.

For me it's not bravery. It's the refusal to think that every man out there is a paedophile, murderer, rapist. I'm bowing out of this thread now because as I've stated I have come to realise this may be a bit more than everyday anxiety and I wish the OP all the best.

I don't think the OP sounds that anxious. She sounds a bit concerned. She is talking about it on here and has made enquiries about the registration number. None of that indicates severe anxiety problems. I think most people who were reasonably aware of their surroundings would notice such a thing and many would challenge the person in some way or make enquiries about the car, just as the OP has done.

The OP has also says she lives in quite a rural area. Sorry, but who on earth decides to park in a street for that long in a quiet rural area, sit in their car, and not be aware that they might cause the residents some worry over their activities?

Also the blacked-out windows. I'm assuming the front ones aren't illegally blacked out or darkened, because the OP can see who is in the car, but if all the windows other than the windscreen are blacked out, this is illegal.

scarlet
the people sat outside my house were not to the best of my knowledge murders, rapists or paedos
they were certainly very polite when I let them in
it did not make them any less scary
as they went from room to room checking to see if I was telling the truth

luckily they believed what I told them.
I doubt I'd be here posting had they not

ScarletRuby- I'm normally quite well mannered, but seriously, proclaiming to the whole of Mumsnet that I have 'severe anxiety problems' why don't you FUCK OFF!!

Don't worry OP.

Only on MN would you be diagnosed with a more than everyday anxiety problem because you didn't confront a stranger in a car who had been outside yours for hours.

I am not an 'every man is a rapist' person, far from it. It would have made me uneasy though and I may have called the police and logged it because well, it's their job to handle this stuff if they think something needs to be done.

Your post didn't have enough drama so some have to add it in themselves for their own entertainment.

Era please don't inaccurately quote me.