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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about a man sitting outside my house for the past 5 hours?

296 replies

Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:41

As title.

I was making breakfast before I dashed out to work at 7.55 pm and a car with blacked out windows parks up on the pavement outside. A man sat there with an iPad.

I have just returned home for lunch 5.5 hours later and he is still here, still sat in the car with iPad. I am here on my own for the next few days as DP is away and it is freaking me out. It is a residential street but quiet as we are in the country.

Should I approach him?

OP posts:
lardyscouse · 17/09/2015 14:10

I've done this. Dropped someone off for an appointment and had to wait several hours to pick them back up. No way was I paying parking charges so drove around having a gawp then parked up for ages and played snake.

ChipsandGuac · 17/09/2015 14:12

I don't think I could resist going and asking him what he's doing. I'm just too nosy. And would be dying with laughter that he may be the world's worst private detective!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 17/09/2015 14:13

Call a neighbour and approach him together?

thunderbird69 · 17/09/2015 14:13

If he makes eye contact, why not talk to him? I don't understand why you don't just ask what he's doing

LovelyFriend · 17/09/2015 14:15

I've read lots of these threads over the years on MN but I can't remember how any of them turn out.

We really need a "results of freaky threads" database/spreadsheet.

KissingFish · 17/09/2015 14:15

If you were out for all that time you don't actually know that he sat in his car the whole time do you? He might have returned to his car just before you got home. Unlikely but not impossible.

Don't ring 101, he's only sitting in his car on a public road. It's not illegal.

If you're that worried about coming home late do you have a back door you can leave and return through?

LurkingHusband · 17/09/2015 14:18

I've just checked there is no open wifi around here, there's only 3 networks including ours that come up if you are outside the house and they've all got pass codes.

You can hide WiFi access points, so that they aren't publicly visible. Although if this were the case, it would suggest the man-in-car knows someone quite nearby (as he'd have to know the name of the AP to be able to connect).

Do you have WiFi ? Could you change your AP name to " POLICE MONITORING TEAM" or somesuch ? Or "Fuck Off Strange Car" ?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 17/09/2015 14:21

Approach him with several neighbors (flaming torches optional) and tell him that what he's doing is blatantly illegal and that you've reported him to Ministry of Agriculture.

Take a rubbing of his numberplate and a dump on his bonnet whilst uploading pictures of it to RateMyPoo.

That'll stop the bastard!

KathyBeale · 17/09/2015 14:22

Leave him alone. He's just sitting in his car. Why do you care? I think if he was a baddie he'd have done something bad by now.

pinkje · 17/09/2015 14:25

We had something similar.

We concluded it was the private driver of someone visiting locally who didn't want the executive car sitting outside the true location (I was imagining a mistress of an MP).

Birdsgottafly · 17/09/2015 14:28

My Son in law did this when he was suspended from work, he couldn't face telling his parents untill he knew if he was getting sacked.

Ive known others to do it, whilst they are waiting for a new job to start and can't be bothered sharing losing their job.

DWP investigators also park up.

OP you've got nothing to worry about, if your thinking sex attacker/serial killer.

Unless your playing away and its your DP that's having you watched.

bettyberry · 17/09/2015 14:28

there's a few silly possibilities

He's a private detective spying on your neighbour to find out if they have an affair

He's a copper and one of your neighbours needs monitoring because they are involved in a drug smuggling gang and they are waiting for the right person to show up before they swoop in and get them all.

He's hiding out because he lost his job and doesn't know how to tell the wife.

He is in the middle of some important game tournament.

He is recording a podcast and is waffling on for hours.

Seriously though, If you are concerned call the police. That's what they are there for, To deal with this kind of thing. Even if you just log it with them and his plate no and they leave him to it.

ThereIsIron · 17/09/2015 14:36

How do you know he's "parked outside your house"? He could just be "parked in your street".

TracyBarlow · 17/09/2015 14:40

My giddy aunt, you're phoning the police?! What on earth for? And you've glared at him to make it clear you're not happy. Saints preserve us.

I can imagine the call to the police.

'Officer there's a man sitting in his car in the public street.'

'Is he causing you any issues?'

'No. He is just sitting there minding his own business.'

'Errrrrrr'

If he's a burglar he's not going to sit there for six bloody hours. If he's a PI he's a shit one. Just go about your business and stop worrying about nothing.

slightlyconfused85 · 17/09/2015 14:44

It's a bit weird but I expect innocent as he wouldn't spy on you from outside your house.
My Dh works abroad often and his work arrange a chauffeur service to pick him up and take him to the airport. Sometimes they come hours and hours early and wait on the street as it's more than their jobs worth to be late. Could be something like this.

slightlyconfused85 · 17/09/2015 14:46

Or you could just ask him if he's alrigiht or if there anything you can help him with as you've noticed he's been parked outside your house for several hours. Better now than bein freaked out if he's still there when you get home later

PressTheAButton · 17/09/2015 14:49

I wouldn't worry about it. If he were up to no good then I can't think of any reason why he would be sitting in a car on his iPad .

Maybe if he was still there at night time I would go and speak to him but I still would be worried about it.

rainysunnyday · 17/09/2015 14:58

I really think you ought to just leave him alone. I cannot believe you're going to call the police.

AgentProvocateur · 17/09/2015 14:59

What TracyBarlow said. It's perfectly legal to sit in your car, for however long you want, on a public street.

CluckingBelle · 17/09/2015 15:03

Maybe he's investigating someone for benefit fraud?

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 15:19

If he is still there when I get home later and it's dark, yes I will be phoning 101 as I am alone in the house and won't feel comfortable knowing he's outside. He will know that I'm alone, or have a pretty good idea as he'll have seen no one else coming or going all day.

Maybe one of the other neighbours will have said something to him by then I don't know.

I appreciate I am being paranoid etc and I normally wouldn't care if my DP was around but as i'm on my own, want to be a bit more vigilant.

If he's innocent and kocher, he'll have nothing to worry about if I give 101 his reg no will he?

OP posts:
InimitableJeeves · 17/09/2015 15:23

He could still be using wifi despite the passcodes. An awful lot of people use passwords like "12345" or "password".

SilverBirchWithout · 17/09/2015 15:24

My iPad wouldn't hold it's charge that long, assume he must have an in car charger?

I'm with a PP that suggested he's someone's driver waiting for them to finish their secret assignation. Type of car does suggest that.

Pootles2010 · 17/09/2015 15:28

What do you think he's going to do? Surely if he's looking to rob you, he'd have done it already whilst you were out?

TheStripyGruffalo · 17/09/2015 15:29

Marking my spot, I want to know what happens.