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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about a man sitting outside my house for the past 5 hours?

296 replies

Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:41

As title.

I was making breakfast before I dashed out to work at 7.55 pm and a car with blacked out windows parks up on the pavement outside. A man sat there with an iPad.

I have just returned home for lunch 5.5 hours later and he is still here, still sat in the car with iPad. I am here on my own for the next few days as DP is away and it is freaking me out. It is a residential street but quiet as we are in the country.

Should I approach him?

OP posts:
OneBreathAfterAnother · 17/09/2015 13:43

I'd imagine he's pretending to be at work or something, and he'll probably leave at 5/6pm. If he's in an out-of-the-way residential street, he probably doesn't think he's doing any harm playing with his iPad in his car.

I'd leave him be, especially as you're on your own for a few nights. If you can see it, you could make a note of his number plate somewhere, but I really don't think it'll be necessary. It's far, far more likely that he's hiding out from his wife/employer than that he's up to no good.

ALemonyPea · 17/09/2015 13:43

Don't approach. Maybe call 101 and speak to the police, log your concern. They might do a drive by. Do you have the license plate?

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:46

Yes logged the license plate this morning.

I am out for dinner tonight and will be back on my own late- I really am anxious about coming back on my own after this.

Yes, him hiding out from employer etc has crossed my mind. It doesn't really put me at ease though

OP posts:
MaxPepsi · 17/09/2015 13:48

He's probably using someone's wifi to search for a job/look at porn/run his business

I wouldn't approach him but my DH would do as he takes great offence to people parking outside our house usually because they do it so ffing badly, not because he's the parking police

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 17/09/2015 13:49

This is mumsnet so you should really be taking him a flask of tea and asking him if he'd like to use your loo.

More seriously, presumably you don't live in a detached place in the back of beyond so I'd stop stressing and just keep an eye. Unless you see him eating a donut because then he's clearly on a stake out!

TheBunnyOfDoom · 17/09/2015 13:50

I bet that he's lost his job and is pretending to go to work everyday because he doesn't want to tell his partner.

I wouldn't worry too much, he's not doing any harm just sitting there, but it might be worth logging it with the police just in case.

VulcanWoman · 17/09/2015 13:54

It's not possible to use others wifi is it, you need the password don't you.

chaosagain · 17/09/2015 13:54

Or he may be a benefit fraud investigator. Probably unlikely but on my mind as I read an article about them watching people's houses to see if there's the number of declared adults in the house..

Thumbcat · 17/09/2015 13:57

I knew someone would suggest calling 101 Grin It's the MN standby. OP unless you're involved in international espionage I'm sure you'll be fine.

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:58

It's a nice car, expensive. As snobby as it sounds id be more worried if it was an old rust bucket.

My other thought was PI/ Police?! Argh, I don't know. But to sit outside someone's house for nearly 6 hours isn't right? What is he doing about the toilet etc?!

I think I might ring 101 & log it.

OP posts:
AttitcusFinchIsMyFather · 17/09/2015 13:58

He is using someones open wifi.

claraschu · 17/09/2015 14:00

Is it illegal to sit in a car? Why do people get worried by something like this? If he were casing a joint planning a robbery, surely he would be more discreet.

ArendelleQueen · 17/09/2015 14:00

My friend does private investigator work. He spends a lot of time sitting in a car, probably looking suspicious to the neighbours.

Hey, maybe he's investigating you! Grin got any secrets?! Wink

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 14:02

I've just checked there is no open wifi around here, there's only 3 networks including ours that come up if you are outside the house and they've all got pass codes.

TBH, if it was a Saturday and bustling and my DP was around I would think it odd but wouldn't be bothered, however I know I am here on my own the next couple of days so yes, I am a bit disconcerted when a random bloke parks himself outside my house for the day.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 17/09/2015 14:03

If you go out and take a photo he might buggar off. He could be an insurance or benefit fraud investigator.

That would make me wary too. If someone did that outside our house they'd be blocking the drive so I'd be having words after 10 mins.

0ddsocks · 17/09/2015 14:05

If he was spying on you he'd probably not park directly in front of your house, more likely a few doors down

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 14:06

Surely to make yourself seem less suss you'd change location half way through the day or every couple of hours so neighbours don't get too suspicious?! We are in the countryside, there are loads of fields/ woodland etc he could park up in!

OP posts:
thunderbird69 · 17/09/2015 14:06

If he is literally outside your house, why not wander out and catch his eye/knock on the window and ask if he is lost?

ivykaty44 · 17/09/2015 14:06

He might be playing games on iPad or watching films that have been downloaded?

We had similar about five years ago, white small van parked up at 7:30 each morning for a few days right outside my house. So II phoned police as I wasn't happy about it. The police logged it but got back to me saying it was OK.

Neighbour tapped on his window and told him she was going to leaflet the street a warning as he might be casing houses....he wasn't seen again

I think ( from what police didn't say) he was a private detective, though not very undercover or private

Oh and as I could see in his van from upstiars when I opened dds curtains - he had his own flask

Owllady · 17/09/2015 14:07

Yes go out and take a photo...
Chances are its nothing to do with you though

DontDrinkandFacebook · 17/09/2015 14:07

He might be using a BT hotspot rather than someone else's WIFI. Perhaps his car is his mobile office for a few days and he is sick of sitting in Costa Coffee. Your street might just be a quiet and convenient place to sit for a few hours.

or he's an investigator of some sort.

Owllady · 17/09/2015 14:08

Lol @ had his own flask

Original poster
Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 14:08

I'm going to go to work now again and come back before going out to dinner, if he's still here when I get back I'm falling 101, I don't care if it makes me paranoid.

The awkward thing is I have to walk past him AGAIN on my way back out, each time I've glared at him & made it obvious I'm not happy and each time he's just looked at me.

OP posts:
ReedBunting · 17/09/2015 14:09

You can use other people's secure wifi without needing the password -if you are a bt customer then you can use other bt customers' wifi whilst out and about. We have people stop outside our house for a few minutes or so every week, but not for hours. Log your concerns with 101.

ivykaty44 · 17/09/2015 14:09

If you do want to pick up WiFi on an ipad or tablet you can use the hotspot from your own mobile phone