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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about a man sitting outside my house for the past 5 hours?

296 replies

Whitechocolatetoblerone · 17/09/2015 13:41

As title.

I was making breakfast before I dashed out to work at 7.55 pm and a car with blacked out windows parks up on the pavement outside. A man sat there with an iPad.

I have just returned home for lunch 5.5 hours later and he is still here, still sat in the car with iPad. I am here on my own for the next few days as DP is away and it is freaking me out. It is a residential street but quiet as we are in the country.

Should I approach him?

OP posts:
CheesecakeDreams · 17/09/2015 18:10

He may have weed in a bottle? I imagine cops do it all the time on stakeouts? I would be more worried about a lack of coffee!!

Tigger365 · 17/09/2015 18:10

I suspect that flask wasn't full of tea...

limitedperiodonly · 17/09/2015 18:17

Apparently that's how poor Jean Charles De Menezes got killed.

The officer keeping the real terrorism suspect under surveillance in his block of flats didn't have a wee bottle and used the loo. He came back, panicked when he saw someone with dark skin leaving the building and an innocent man's fate was sealed.

Well, that's what Scotland Yard said, anyway...

HarrogateMum · 17/09/2015 18:24

This happened to me when dh was away once. Guy sat outside until late evening for hours. Windows down and it was snowing!!! I rang 101 and they said they'd send someone by but I never saw them. Im glad i called though as they said dont approach him. Neighbour went over in the end and said guy seemed a bit dazed but ten mins later he drove off. I was freaked out...understand how some people arent but each to their own!!

lorelei9 · 17/09/2015 18:25

yes, OP, keep us posted and ignore the mickey-takers.

Tartanbeachhut · 17/09/2015 18:28

Not to worry you but this was just the other day

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/sep/15/mother-stabbed-to-death-after-police-alerted-to-suspicious-man

Meandyou150 · 17/09/2015 18:31

Is it odd that I wouldn't even have noticed if someone was sitting outside my house?!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 17/09/2015 18:34

Since when did the police check reg plates whilst on the phone to you, tell you they cant trace the vehicle and 'agree its weird'???

SilverBirchWithout · 17/09/2015 18:40

This reminds me of when I first started seeing my DH, he was sharing a house with a couple of people, one of the girls was in an off/on relationship with a pilot from a now well known country the Middle East. Some pretty sinister people were trying to track down this pilot boyfriend because his family were close to/part of the opposition party in this dictatorship. She had received a call from him warning her to be careful who she spoke to.

Unknown to my DH the house was under surveillance by MI5 (I assume) and DH is quite swarthy. Any rate I turned up at the house one Saturday lunchtime, upstairs we went, curtains drawn, emerging 2hours later (as you do when you are in your 20s in the first flush of a relationship) and left for my house. Thought nothing of it until a phone call later from his housemate wanting to know who had been in the house earlier, because she had an urgent visit from the Police because it had been reported to them that she may have been kidnapped after being held hostage upstairs!

This was over 30 years ago before terrorism was such a bit deal, but left me realising how things go on that we know nothing about. it was weird and scary to think that all our actions were being logged and recorded, and misinterpreted in this way Shock

PressTheAButton · 17/09/2015 18:42

I still don't understand what you are thinking he might do?

TamaraLamara · 17/09/2015 18:46

There was a thread on here a while ago about someone wondering why a car was parked outside their house for hours on end. Turned out the driver had traced their partner's phone to that road and suspected them of having an affair but didn't know which house so was staking out the street. So if your road has cropped up on the list of frequent locations on the phone of a suspicious partner, that could explain the stake-out.

LadySheherazade · 17/09/2015 18:50

I'm with PressTheAButton

I think your actions are weirder than his.

clam · 17/09/2015 18:50

tartan that happened quite near to me. Sad Was wondering whether to mention it.

spanisharmada · 17/09/2015 18:59

Of course plates get checked when you're still on the phone, saves having to call back if no trace. Very usual to be told its no trace and asked to double check, if you're sure etc.
The system all forces check is PNC, if the vehicles registered with DVLA its on there.
Most suspicious about OP's account of her call to 101

spanisharmada · 17/09/2015 19:00

*Most? Meant nothing!

SilverBirchWithout · 17/09/2015 19:12

I suspect it is some sort of covert operation, I suspect that cars used are not easily identified on the normal system. 101 operators are not likely to report back to a caller, Ok it's one of ours are they?

spanisharmada · 17/09/2015 19:16

They're all on the same system, even blocked embassy type ones still show up. If it was police or whoever you'd just say it was all in order and not to worry.

Lj8893 · 17/09/2015 19:19

8 hours without a wee isn't too unusual. Many nurses do 12 without Confused

Sounds like he is spying on someone. I wouldn't be too worried about the number plate issue, I once got pulled over and they couldn't detect my plates but it was just a computer issue.

Witchend · 17/09/2015 19:23

It's not the checking of the numberplate, but more the telling the OP about it that's weird. I'd have expected them not to be able to give out any details, even we can't find any.

spanisharmada · 17/09/2015 19:30

Normal practice in our force to tell callers if its no trace, even agreeing its 'weird' wouldn't raise any eyebrows tbh. Asked to call back if it returns is standard practice too. I really don't think OP is lying about the call. She prob should have called earlier really.

SushiAndTheBanshees · 17/09/2015 19:35

Sorry, but I think you're winding yourself up.

What the police told you about the registration number could mean any number of things; it does not necessarily mean he is using fake plates! Christ, you really have to think the worst of someone to jump to that conclusion.

I think you need to chill out and relax. He's gone. And next time, try not to give someone who seems to be minding their own business and acting well within their rights minding their own business "glaring" disapproving looks. You've probably freaked the guy out completely.

Yarboosucks · 17/09/2015 19:35

Is there someone on the street who is on disability benefits and could possibly be under surveillance for that?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 17/09/2015 19:56

I'm not entirely sure why the Nicola Cross story has been mentioned. Burglaries and murders happen all the time. What happened was tragic, but her killer wasn't sat outside her house on his iPad Hmm. I bet this man is completely harmless to the OP

TendonQueen · 17/09/2015 19:59

If he's within his rights to sit there all day, surely the OP is also within her rights to glare at him if she wishes? Fair's fair.

Grapejuicerocks · 17/09/2015 20:03

Does sound very odd indeed.